Tori Spelling is almost too attractive

February 7th, 2007 // 127 Comments
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I have seen the face of sexy and it is Tori Spelling. Whoever said pregnant women are gross obviously never saw this. Is it wrong to hump your monitor? Because I’ve already done it twice and number three is looking awfully tempting right now.


  1. RussianMafia

    Is she going to a funeral? Fatty

  2. ihateyoutoo

    EEK!

  3. llllllllll

    I don’t understand why someone would even dare breed with her. Forget overdose, forget homicide, forget famine…Shit like this is whats fucking up our world.

  4. gorax

    mmmmmmmm

  5. whatthe

    I hate how most women use pregnancy as an excuse to gain a bunch of weight. According to doctors, a pregnant woman only needs to gain 15 pounds. Fucking cows.

  6. Richie Rich

    I was going to say, ahh she’s pregnant…..but forget it. She should stay the hell home. That’s gonna be a interesting looking baby.

  7. N@ughty

    @3 its not screwing up our world. its only blending the rest of the celebrities in with the old, the bad and the ugly. for example: britney spears-beyond whoredom
    ashley simpson-plastic surgery couldn’t even help that face
    fergie-sometimes ugly speaks for itself (or “herself”)
    see what i mean? our world is still the same.
    ~N@ughty

  8. combustion8

    I’ve seen better legs on a diseased mule…. and face for that matter.

  9. Richie Rich

    Picture #3 is Miss Piggy. Fake eyelashes, ringlet hair, blue eyeshadow, double chin, etc

  10. I guess being ugly just wasn’t enough for her.

    Tori Spelling: Now with more fat than ugly!

  11. llllllllll

    lol

  12. Uncle Nastyfingers

    despite how horrible some of these has-beens have become, it’s even more embarrassing to know that there’s still some bored, lonely moron out there desperate enough to cram his hairy little burn victim finger of a penis into her wet catcher’s mitt of a vagina.

    that is the real crime here, folks. giving these fucking manitees self-respect and esteem to believe it’s ok to be this way. if you’re in a trailer park and work at bob evans, sure! but hollywood?

  13. llllllllll

    lol miss piggy…ahh the memories

  14. misanthrope

    @5… it’s more like 25 pounds, but whatever.

    @9… nailed it on the head. LMAO

    She’s carrying the baby in her chins.

  15. TaterFace

    A-goddamn-Men, #5. Being preg isn’t not an excuse to be a total fatass. I just had my demon spawn 3 mo ago, only gained 14lbs and ate like a total cow. What are these girls doing to themselves to get so big? Christ on a cracker, I can’t look.

  16. Zed

    Okay, she’s fat. Most pregnant women are. But that nose in (small) picture #2–now that’s just totally bizarre. Is that a nose? Nah, can’t be.

    And in the last picture, look at her husband. Are those black heads all over his nose. Yeck! How revolting!

  17. murmurzz

    A woman of normal body weight should gain 25-35 lbs during pregnancy. Check it: http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/1466

    It’s easy to lose if you nurse, too. What a buncha a-holes you are. :P

  18. ph7

    Poor husband. You know what they say – marrying for money is the hardest way to earn it.

  19. Lizzle

    This begs the question, who has the bigger head????

    a. Tori Spelling
    b. Pete Doherty

    It’s almost too difficult to decide on my own, so i’m asking for feedback.

  20. ph7

    She looks like John Goodman.

  21. llllllllll

    ‘Tori Spelling has sold the exclusive photo rights of her yet unborn child to OK! Magazine for a cool $250,000.00.’
    Hell I would pay that too…monsters aren’t born everyday.

  22. mika85

    #17 yeah that, but baby center sucks. go to kellymom.com.

    btw, i gained 40 lbs when i was pregnant. and breastfeeding exclusively does help you lose weight, among lots of other things. but i digress…

    yes, tori spelling is ugly. but respect the preggo fat.

  23. misanthrope

    @17… murmurzz: I’ve been there and I know. Different women, different weight gains. I gained a normal amount of weight (26) and I carried way out front. My belly looked like I was carrying a car and my boobs were gigantic, but everything else was normal. Some women don’t look pregnant at all and some look like they gained 5000 pounds. Nursing helps with most everything!

    Anyway, that said, Tori was ugly to begin with and pregnancy ain’t helping. For lots of women, pregnancy heightens femininity…. not so much for Tori.

  24. llllllllll

    I firmly believe this baby will take the title from Heidie and Seals babies.

  25. tim

    Nice hair, she looks like Farrah Fawcett. Farrah Fawcett’s anal cancer, to be exact.

  26. BarbadoSlim

    Her face reminds me of something, it starts with, Jabba and ends with, the Hutt.

  27. Rose18

    hey maybe she has preeclampsia (a toxic condition in late pregnancy including sudden rise in blood pressure, excessive weight gain )
    look at her hands they are huge too poor thing!

  28. llllllllll

    ok so we’ve established she looks like miss piggy, so now the big question…If you’re able to masterbate and ejaculate while thinking or Tori..does that make you a candidate for beastiality…or maybe monsterality?

  29. WiseMan

    This woman is a pure cheap whore who couldnt keep her nasty legs shut. Fucking ugly fat bitch.

  30. kamihi

    UGH the only reason this woman ever got in a TV show was her father, I think shes repulsive.

  31. suzy

    NO NO NO!!! SHE LOOKS LIKE ROCKO’S NEIGHBORS, the frogs!!!

    On Rocko’s Modern Life

    muahahahaha

  32. Jenster

    oh come one, she was always repulsive looking.
    i thought she’d turn into a fucking chupacabra by now, but shes kept the scaryness to a minimal and I appreciate that.

  33. jrzmommy

    Poor thing, after being jewed out of her inheritance by her mom, how can she buy a bigger pen for her growing family? I mean, house.

  34. BarbadoSlim

    Hehehehe #31 you mean The Bigheads.

    “Ed, oh, ED, ED!! what? am I TALKIN’ TO MYSELF!?!? come here and rub some suntan lotion on my back, ED!”

    Rocko rocks.

  35. Niecy

    I feel sorry for Tori if the baby inherits her giant head.

    And sorry for the baby, with such a monster as a mother. Can you imagine the taunting when she goes to pick him/her up from school?

  36. pookiedoo

    The reason these Hollywood bimbos gain so much weight when they’re preggo is because it’s the only time they get to eat real food. Like hogs at a trough, they don’t know when to quit. It’s sad, really.

  37. wedgeone

    The amount of pregnancy weight to gain depends upon how overweight you are when getting pregnant! You can’t sit there & tell me that a woman 50 pounds overweight should put on another 35 because she’s pregnant. Here’s how that turns out: gestational diabetes!

    #28 – Miss Piggy & John Goodman. Them double chins are every man’s turn-on. I wonder if her hubby makes her gobble like a turkey when he climaxes.

  38. WiseMan

    This is one ugly fat whore who couldnt keep her legs shut. Someone should cut her stomach open and shoot her in the head.

  39. llllllllll

    #38 {gulp}

  40. LL

    Eh, whatever, I liked her show (don’t know if it’s coming back or not). It was actually pretty funny. And the main picture does make her look like a total porker but then the others, from different vantage points, not so much. She’s carrying around a fetus, until she gets Big Momma big, she’s not that fat. Some chicks can be hot pregnant (like whatsherface from “My Name Is Earl” and Heidi Klum) and others just get porky-looking. I think you’re supposed to gain about 25-35 lbs, tops. Anything more than that is just overeating.

  41. misanthrope

    @37… wedgeone: I don’t think anyone was saying that an overweight woman should gain more if they are pregnant. I think people are talking about normal body weight before pregnancy. I don’t think Tori was overweight before pregnancy… if you don’t count her huge head, that is.

  42. NicotineEyePatch

    What’s funny is imagining her reaction to these pictures – especially while she’s all hormonal. She’ll think she looks terrible and freak out and cry, and her friends will be like ‘um, actually, these are the nicest pictures we’ve seen of you in a long time’.

  43. Alie

    You can’t blame the pregnancy. She wasn’t an attractive woman to begin with.

  44. sid

    If she wasn’t super-producer Arron Spelling’s brat, I’m sure this dynamic lady’s acting talent and firey desire to succeed would have made her a star.

    Of course, she’d be without plastic surgery, so she’d still have that big clown nose, and a flat chest.

    Annnnnnd she’d have neither the brains nor the patience to have even completed high school, or to have taken acting classes, or gone on auditions, or made her own small films, or anything else.

    Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd she’d be far uglier than this, far fatter, and be working as a cashier at Target. Look at her face in pic 1. Imagine her saying, “Um you want a bag? Uh, sorry, I have to ask the manager if we take that coupon. Yeah, I’ll take it up the ass, but only if you bring more beer next time. Oh, wait, the liqour store is still open…go get some Viagra for yourself and we can go again. Hurry up, I gotta start my shift in an hour.”

    Do I get some love for also hitting the nail on the head? Well? Come on, people, a little respect, here.

  45. MrSemprini

    Yeah, #40, she is a total porker.

    Hey, wasn’t this chickie on 90210 or something? The only one that didn’t get killed off. That’s what I meant, really. Does that make me a mysogynist? I’d like to know, really. I’ve heard so much about them, but I’ve never met one. Well, maybe I have and just didn’t know because I’ve never been formally introduced to a mysogynist. Though, its not like you introduce someone based on their avocation…

    “hello”

    “hello, I’m your mysogynist for the evening”

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure that doesn’t happen. Well, pretty sure. I mean, it could. You could introduce yourself as a closeted papahotnuts, if you wanted to. Its a free country. Hey, are there any limits to the number of words I can use here before I get cut off? Just curious. Hey, I did it. I identified myself by a descriptive and not my name. Guess it can happen. Kinda by accident. Like when you mean to stab your ailing grandmother for her montly check but she tries to run and falls down the stairs and breaks her neck. Same result, just looks like an accident. Whew, gotta go. Sirens.

  46. LL

    She does have sort of a big head. But I’ll reserve judgment till I see her waddling around in tacky cut-off shorts, dirty old platform flip-flops and trashy-looking tops with no bra like pregnant Britney. At least Tori was kind enough to cover up for us. At least we’re not being assaulted by her bare abdomen, ass, ta-tas, etc.

    Thank you, Tori.

  47. misanthrope

    @39… tee hee

  48. BarbadoSlim

    I like where your head’s at #38.

  49. She looks like she just ate a small child.

  50. kathleen170

    Her nose is a little dented in the last picture.

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