Tori Spelling has gigantic nipples

June 18th, 2009 // 134 Comments

Here’s Tori Spelling experiencing a bikini FAIL while vacationing in Hawaii. I don’t really know who would want to look at Tori’s nipples, but then again I thought the same thing about Dolph Lundgren’s penis and five billion of you proved me wrong. I’m starting to think the robot’s aren’t going to have to work hard at their apocalypse provided they shoot nudie pictures out of their ray guns. — I just told them our weakness, didn’t I? Sonofabitch.

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that reminded me I need new saucer plates.

Photos: Splash News

  1. mfiasco

    It’s the sunglasses that are gigantic.

  2. Deva

    My god she is fucking gross. He obviously didn’t marry her for the money. So what could it be? And WHAT THE FUCK is up with her nipples? It’s like they’re cockeyed. She has COCKTITS! I’m trademarking that name.

  3. kingofbeer

    Personally, I love big nips, bigger and pointier the better. They point in different directions because the swim top is pulling the nip that way. anyways, ladies with big nips, don’t worry there are a million dudes out there just like me, ice those babies down and swing em with pride.

  4. AJ

    She has the worst breast implants in Hollywood. I wonder what doctor is giving her pills to maintain her anorexic look. If she keeps this up then she will have heart failure in no time.

  5. Walter

    Yoo would think that for what shye paid for them they would match.

  6. CrunchPop

    Take a grapefruit.
    Slice it in half.
    Glue the halves onto your flat chest.
    Bingo, you have Tori Spelling.

  7. Rupert


  8. Deva

    Exactly #55.

  9. Alex

    I’ve never seen a pair of tits I didn’t like. Especially nice store-bought ones like these.

    What I want to know is, what the hell is that on her left hip?? Its at about 4 o’clock if you make her belly button the center of the clock.

  10. Sara

    She does not look healthy at all! She makes me sick looking at her. Nicole Richie had this same kind of look a few years ago. It didn’t look good on Nicole and it doesn’t look good Tori. Wise up Tori, you look GROSS!!

  11. big teeth

    I’d hit that…. with a shovel… and then bury it in the back yard under the porch.

  12. stupid

    You people are retarded. Her suit is pulling her nips that way, and secondly, they are not even that big.

    That said, Tori creeps me the fuck out.

  13. Ralph


    Too bad when Tori is braless her nipples face her toes!

  14. joe blow

    Why the long face, Tori?

  15. Jenn

    Siiiick, she’s a rail thin… Eeeeeeeeeeeik!

  16. Tamara

    C’mon…she’s had 2 kids, both of which were breastfed. Give the girl a break – I love her!

  17. imhot

    Ditch the gross implants and eat a fuckin’ sandwich…then we can talk.

  18. meh!

    Putting a trashcan near my desk was indeed a good idea, I should just get used to aim a lil’ better next time I check thesuperficial, my maid is getting tired cleaning barf stain on the carpet.

  19. Pookie

    Jesus Harold Christ!!!! She looks more and more like Tara Reid every time I see her! And what the hell is going on below deck? Does she actually have a vagina or is it just like a barbie doll down there? Maybe if you’re anorexic for too long your hoo-haa just falls out…

  20. alisa

    uuhhhh…..her nipples aren’t even that big! you want a chick with guy nipples?? ummm fags?

  21. titsonsnack

    K I was expecting way worse when I clicked on that. Those nipples are not really that big in fact they are pretty normal. Pointing in different directions, yeah, but by no means “gigantic”. I am more concerned by the lack of flesh on her body.

  22. WTF?

    Uhh, anorexia?

  23. Dread not

    Bai Ling thinks her nips ain’t shit. I like ‘em… a lot. IZOD, rocks.

  24. mikeock

    She is such a butterface, but I’m staring straight at the semi-crotch shot.

  25. Schniby

    You would all hit it and you know it

  26. Rhialto

    I wouldn’t be surprised if she diet a lot.Her nipples are pretty visible.

  27. slow monkey

    Why pay for the Paps photos Fish? You could have grossed us out for free by photographing your open mouth with chewed up lunch in it with your camera phone.

  28. tora, tora, tori

    I agree with #4,#55, and #56, and #24 made me snort my drink out of my nose.

    P.S. Her nips don’t seem that big, but I think they have been hanging out with Paris Hilton’s wonky eye.

  29. andrew

    Go figure, a hideous woman has hideous nipples. Yuck.

  30. ABC

    I don’t understand these Pixs, she looks like an emaciated piece of string to me, but last night the same Pixs were on ET, or TMZ, or AtoZ or something TV and all they talked about was how fit she lookes. Are they nuts or blind?

  31. Rabbit

    She needs bottoms that actually fit but, damn I’d so hit that!

  32. Feed Me

    What kind of diet is she on? Coke, meth, or Mexican diet pills? This is not normal. She looks like she is about to die. Soon she’ll be in the hospital with a feeding tube up her nose being pumped with Ensure, my grandma drinks this who also has a better body by the way.

  33. hilda

    Her husband is a babe!

  34. Brandy

    Why would you wear that??? And when would your somebody be nice and say “hey! excuse me! I can see your nipples!” Plus in that bathing suit, if she sat down wrong, we’d be seeing so much more!

  35. fred stewart

    #50 hahahahahaaa. You should let Katie Price in on the competition but make it a mud wrestle competition. .. TORRI, KATIE AND MOMMY XXX let their racks rack eachother!!!!!

  36. little dick

    Damn my uncircumcised little anteater just shot a load… wow she’s hot and even hotter tits!!!!!!!

  37. Kitahara Nanase

    LoL@ #61.

    God damn it, she looks nasty!

  38. gigi

    omg! Eat Tori Eeeeeeeaaaaaaattttttt! pleeeeease! Dean stop eating all the food in the house & please feed your wife!

  39. boobies

    @ 23 lol

  40. #8…her areolas (spelling?) are normal. Her actually nipple is kind of big lol.

  41. pixi

    this is the saddest thing ive seen since a dr phil ep on drug addled anorectics.
    im not saying shes a crack head, but he body looks like shes one.
    she has self loathing just oozing out of her. look at the chain of pathos though; first her mummy, now the next stop for the ‘no self esteem train’ has to be her kids. she hasnt got the strength to get off the train, and ive got a lazy ten bucks which says shes making sure her kids are gonna be co-dependant travelling passengers.
    just like madonna is.

  42. Dan

    Tori has “summer nipples”. Some ‘er nipples go this way, some ‘er nipples go that way.

  43. dude

    wtf is she melting down there in that first pic??? ewwwww

  44. damn

    damn, that bitch looks like a lumpy lollipop…

  45. deode043

    in the first pic i could be mistakin’ but that looks like her VAG hangin out even that looks off kilter

  46. Yep – they are pretty big. I almost lost an eye!

  47. Peter Allen

    ‘I want some bikinis to emphasise the crotch.’
    ‘We have just the thing, maam.’

    Oops, not crotch, CROCs. ‘

  48. imposterer

    Its funny because most guys on this forum are criticizing her, when most of you guys dont even get laid…

  49. godsmack38

    she needs to eat something.

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