Tori Spelling has gigantic nipples

June 18th, 2009 // 134 Comments

Here’s Tori Spelling experiencing a bikini FAIL while vacationing in Hawaii. I don’t really know who would want to look at Tori’s nipples, but then again I thought the same thing about Dolph Lundgren’s penis and five billion of you proved me wrong. I’m starting to think the robot’s aren’t going to have to work hard at their apocalypse provided they shoot nudie pictures out of their ray guns. — I just told them our weakness, didn’t I? Sonofabitch.

NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that reminded me I need new saucer plates.

Photos: Splash News

  1. seth

    first papá

  2. mike

    Id hit it

  3. Killah

    Everything about this woman creeps me out.

  4. anonymous


  5. Merlin007

    1st!!!!! Booobies!!! wonder how many operations she’s had– MOMMY XXX is on her 11th. love those babies ladies!!

  6. shakeitout

    euugghhh she’s sooo grooossssssss.

  7. Please

    PLEASE! Her nipples are completely normal – they are not gigantic. Idiots.

  8. Judas Iscariot

    Pardon me while I go poke out my eyes. And my mind’s eye.

  9. Moto Rola

    Big nips are easier to suck.

  10. Wow. It’s like a retarded unicorn or something. It should be great but it’s just disturbing. Donna Martin, you never looked weirder.
    But that said, I’d still eat her ass.

  11. Jenny C

    Not too huge…but why are they pointing in different directions??????

  12. kipsy

    what’s going on at the bottom of her bottoms in this shot?

  13. mike

    The reflection on her right leg make it look like she has a droopy lip…

  14. pappy smeary

    pa pa pa pa pepporonis!

    ima tori spelling, looka ata mi pepporonis

  15. Deacon Jones


    Talk about a botched tit job! And I thought the trannys in New Orleans had fucked up tits

  16. netstarman

    She has googly eye nipples. It must b e hard to have crossed eyed nipples.

  17. Erica

    She looks DISGUSTINGLY thin.

  18. Sam

    The newer models of implants have chips in them that automatically dim the nipples when a viewer is approaching.

  19. Funeral Guy

    Her nipples are the same size as her big stupid sunglasses.

  20. Angus

    It’s her moms fault – the left nipple has disowned the right nipple.

  21. x6

    *bleeching eyeballs now.*

  22. Karen

    She should accept her fate. Despite her famous dad, she’s never going to be an attractive actress. No matter what she does, everything ends up ugly: face, crazyboobs, anorexic body. At least she doesn’t have to worry about money. Oh wait…

  23. Zanna

    she looks like she has a piece of balogna hanging out of her gant. and who the fuck wears IZOD anymore, anyway.

  24. Regan

    someone needs to tell her that the whole ‘anorexic’ look is sooo out.

  25. lina


  26. Nice going my Lord and creator!!!

    its like putting leather seats in a Hugo….

  27. m.munroe

    #24. it’s LACOSTE.

  28. Amy

    ARGGGGGG!!!!! She looks like a drowned rat! WTF is wrong with these people?

  29. Love


  30. her nose is lopsided

  31. lina

    so, what the F do you want me to do?

  32. piper

    I always thought this media whore looked like Aaron Spelling in drag. She’s a trainwreck.

  33. ptrgn

    yummo! does torri have her own reality show too? she and Mommy XXX should get together and have play dates… jus sayin

  34. I think she looks great. She’s a cool person and I love her style.

  35. ROugh=checking fishfem’s myspace…

  36. TO number 24

    “IZOD is most notable for its pairing with the Lacoste shirt company from 1952-1993, known simply as “IZOD Lacoste”. While the shirts were equally IZOD and Lacoste, they became abbreviated and popularized as “IZOD” shirts which leads to the common misconception that the famous “Crocodile” is the “IZOD” trademark.”

  37. r

    umm her abs are partially drawn on and he upper inner thighs are saggy…ewww.

  38. r

    umm her abs are partially drawn on and he upper inner thighs are saggy…ewww.

  39. JPRichardson

    Anorexic mommy. Or is that mummy? Looks like a dead rotten horse.

  40. Tad Bit Tipsy

    Still Looks like a young female Elton John with big nipples and Fake tits….. I know hotter chicks from ethiopia.

  41. DLeeyo

    The doctor that did her boobs mustve been cockeyed

  42. jenipurrr

    I could be wrong, but I think that is the shadow caused from her suit not being pressed up against her fake chichis by her mammoth nipples creating a tent effect…not her actual nip disks.

  43. amoi

    The concentration-camp look is big this year, I hear. This girl can’t seem to get it right, going from one extreme (chunky but at least healthy-looking) to another. Unfortunately, she can change her body but not her face.

  44. four show


    you read my mind

  45. havoc

    I don’t know man. It still doesn’t make up for that face.

    But that ARE nipples. We love nipples. But its Tori Spelling and there are nipples. I can’t not look away….

    I’m so confused…..


  46. Ian

    Good god woman, eat a few pizzas or something.

  47. ZoomBoy

    LOL at the Clorox advertisement playing next to the pictures. How suitable.

  48. phuture98

    cute hair, great tits, nips don’t look too big. nice tight tummy. u guys are trippin!!!

    #24 you must live in the middle of the country and have no sense of style. otherwise you would know lacoste is a cool brand.


    #6 the competition for plastic surgery only begins with boob jobs.. TORRI vs. MOMMY XXX is on– no holds barred

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