Tori Spelling got married to Dean McDermott in a private ceremony in Fiji over the weekend, but sources are now saying that Spelling might be pregnant. She was spotted shopping for baby stuff at Petit Tresor, and a source says:
Tori Spelling gets knocked up and married
May 9th, 2006 // 67 Comments
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LickyLicky | May 9, 2006 at 10:16 am
FIRST
Trotter | May 9, 2006 at 10:17 am
Trannys can become pregnant? What is “she” carrying? A pony turd?
Oscar | May 9, 2006 at 10:17 am
Dang it!!!
Mr. Fritz | May 9, 2006 at 10:18 am
4th! Nobody gives credit to number 4.
Tracy | May 9, 2006 at 10:18 am
Poor Dean… when that kid’s born with a horse face and a hook nose, he’ll finally see what his honey looked like BEFORE she met her Beverly Hills plastic surgeon.
PapaHotNuts | May 9, 2006 at 10:22 am
I really can’t believe someone actually fucked her. It should be a crime, and I plan on writing my Congressman today.
Mr. Fritz | May 9, 2006 at 10:22 am
This girl always looked like a tranny, even in her teenage years. I am reminded of that famous quote: “You can’t polish a turd, Beavis”. I wonder how much money was spent on this attempt. Maybe she’ll be the next Jennifer Lopez or Elizabeth Taylor.
Jacq | May 9, 2006 at 10:23 am
That’s definitely a chick you need to bag before you shag.
86 | May 9, 2006 at 10:23 am
Wasn’t she married to someone else a few months ago?
Gerald Tarrant | May 9, 2006 at 10:26 am
Fuck that. This dude pulled a Zeta-Jones. He was a tool soap actor, got his hooks on a fugly bitch that is heir to a bunch of cash. Get a kid on the whore and you’re in there for life.
Trotter | May 9, 2006 at 10:26 am
@9 Charlie Shanian – he divorced “her” the night after the nuptials. Turns out Charlie isn’ t into horses and cock in any combination.
pinky_nip | May 9, 2006 at 10:27 am
The most FAKE thing I ever saw, was that shitty movie she was in and we were supposed to believe she was some high-priced call girl.
Nobody would bag this bitch if she didn’t have daddy’s money.
ziggurat | May 9, 2006 at 10:29 am
Who the fuck is Dean McDermott?
sweetcheeks | May 9, 2006 at 10:29 am
Can a fetus gestate in a plastic womb?
sweetcheeks | May 9, 2006 at 10:31 am
Merlin’s beard! I don’t give a tinker’s toot about To-rhee-hee-hee-snort Spelling.
86 | May 9, 2006 at 10:46 am
Now is the time to move to Beverly Hills and open an upscale baby shop and give it a french name, or one of those word association names that make no sense.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 10:46 am
I’ve never been able to look at her without involuntarily neighing like a horse.
It’s Mr. Ed!
86 | May 9, 2006 at 10:47 am
Their kids will look like frogs. BUT, this guy will probably be living in the Spelling mansion one day, so I’m sure he’s okay with having ugly kids.
Binky | May 9, 2006 at 10:49 am
Glad I just make small Spelling mistakes. This guy is WAY beyond typo now..
Crafty | May 9, 2006 at 10:56 am
Tori Spelling’s baby is about the best pro-abortion argument I can think of.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | May 9, 2006 at 11:07 am
Alexis Arquette is looking hawttt.
BigJim | May 9, 2006 at 11:09 am
This is a sham, right? I mean, chicks that ugly are always dykes, aren’t they? She sure looks like a carpet muncher to me.
I’m betting she hired this washed up actor to play the role of her husband, and got artificially inseminated by David Crosby.
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 9, 2006 at 11:19 am
Bravo, Binky. Bravo.
Iambananas | May 9, 2006 at 11:25 am
She’s annoying.
Italian Stallion | May 9, 2006 at 11:25 am
I got a little story about Paul Revere, Just me and my Tori and a quart of Beer, riding across the land, kicking up sand, Taco bell is on our tail, horsemeats in demand…………..
MystressJade | May 9, 2006 at 11:29 am
That’s why I love you Italian Stallion….and of course now I’m hungry.
Jacq | May 9, 2006 at 11:30 am
I need something funnier to work with. All I can muster is to call her ugly and everyone knows that. There is something wrong with a guy who can get hard to looking at her.
I hope the baby comes out with a little, tiny body and the face and head of her father. *cue the music from the Pshyco shower scene*ree-ree-ree!
#21 – Where have you been, bitch!? You better not be teasing us with quickie posts today!
andrewthezeppo | May 9, 2006 at 11:35 am
awww, I heart Tori, she’s MY little pony!
plus, he TV show isn’t half as offensive and annoying as the rest of VH1′s line up. I’d rather chew off my own foot than watch “Hogan Knows Best” look at his daughter, talk about a tranny!
They don’t shoot Spellings do they?
Lala | May 9, 2006 at 11:36 am
Those two are just way beyond cheesy. So cheesy in fact, I predict she’ll give birth to a huge wedge of Tillamook Cheddar.
PapaHotNuts | May 9, 2006 at 11:45 am
I heard that “E” wanted her to be the star of a “Donkey Show Girl” reality series, but they could not find one single donkey in Mexico to fuck her. “Too ugly”, one donkey was reported to say. Sad.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | May 9, 2006 at 11:45 am
27 – You like it when I quickie-post, don’t you, you slippery little slut?
Fisher55 | May 9, 2006 at 11:46 am
Tori went undercover as “Taria Spooling” or something to get the part on 90210 w/o Dad even knowing about it. She’s a clever and talented chick, that Tori.
no seriously, but that movie she did w/ Parker Posey was good…
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | May 9, 2006 at 12:01 pm
Goddammit Fisher55, everthing you say makes me want to drop Napalm on MTV for churning out little mind-raped snot balls like yourself.
meat-tulip | May 9, 2006 at 12:10 pm
“Tori! I can’t get my cock to fit in the syringe. How the hell are we gonna get you preggers if I can’t ejaculate into this tube?”
Fisher55 | May 9, 2006 at 12:11 pm
Alexis Arquette is looking hawwtttttt
dumb bitch
meat-tulip | May 9, 2006 at 12:12 pm
Sometimes the line “Posted by Iambananas on May 9, 2006 11:25 AM ” has something profound and witty written beneath it.
krisdylee | May 9, 2006 at 12:13 pm
Her and Star Jones have a freaky resemblance to each other.
delicious_dysfunktion | May 9, 2006 at 12:22 pm
A Horse is a horse of course of course.Shit.
I’ve got nothing.Papa,Osh,all you guys are a tough act to follow.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | May 9, 2006 at 12:23 pm
Touche, Fisher55. Touche.
honey | May 9, 2006 at 12:25 pm
why am i daydreaming about an oshkosh/hotnuts orgy with a little big jim thrown in for kicks and where is dr rokter? there are fantastic things happening in my brain….. i’m going to have to step out of my office now
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 9, 2006 at 12:30 pm
#38,
That pun is already taken. See #17.
Nimuë LaMer | May 9, 2006 at 12:35 pm
Why the long face, Tori?
Sad because Dean double bagged you? (Psst! It was in case his bag fell off!)
sweetcheeks | May 9, 2006 at 1:01 pm
#40 — really, fantastic things happening in your brain?
I think it’s called a hemorrhage. You might be having a stroke.
Spindoc | May 9, 2006 at 1:19 pm
Just remember, she has had plastic surgery, that doesn’t change your DNA. That poor kid will come out looking like her BEFORE she went under the knife. Poor little Elephant Trunk having no titts little thing.
gogoboots | May 9, 2006 at 1:26 pm
Is that why she got married? I didn’t even know you had to get married because you were pregnant. It looks like no one is really doing it that way, I guess marrying went out with hula hoops!
hurley | May 9, 2006 at 1:49 pm
where’s sherry-cu? does she just post on the scientology threads?
TrannyGranny | May 9, 2006 at 2:25 pm
Jesus Fucking Christ On a Pogo Stick;
My penis goes into a coma everytime I see a picture of this horse. How is it even possible someone could impregnate her?
hurley | May 9, 2006 at 3:07 pm
with her own penis, she self-impregnates. like a beautiful flower.
TrannyGranny | May 9, 2006 at 3:08 pm
46 Hurley;
Today in 1950 is when gay-ron Hubbard published Dianetics. It’s some kind of cult holiday. All the scientology women are required to submit to a bludgeoning with the book, without making a sound, and then help grease up the “men” for some sloppy colon-spelunking. They do it in groups of 100, behind closed doors in a conga line shaped like a double helix. Smells just like a hog-farm after a few hours. I saw the National Geographic Special about this event last week. It’s called the Deep-Cleansing Ritual. Supposed to get all the concentrated evil out of every orifice.
hurley | May 9, 2006 at 3:25 pm
trannygranny, that all sounded creepily realistic. well-done. at least i know where sherry-co scampered off to. i was beginning to worry.