Tori Spelling Eludes Paparazzi By Crashing Into a School

June 13th, 2011 // 52 Comments

While being “chased” by the paparazzi (Read: One guy spotted her backing her car up.), Tori Spelling decided to shake them by plowing her SUV into a school and giving them an awesome set of photos to make a shitload of money off of. That’ll teach ‘em. Via Twitter:

Paparazzi chased me w/the kids 2school. I was trying to get away from him and had a pretty big accident. Took down whole wall of school. He thn STILL got out to try to get pics. 10 school moms chased him away. Wht will it take? Someone dying for paparazzi to stop? Going to dr now to check on baby. I think its just shock.

Couple of things:

1. Why the hell is rich, super-pregnant Tori Spelling not using a driver?
2. If you’re behind the window of a car, are the paparazzi really going to take that embarrassing of a photo of you that channeling the Dukes of Hazard becomes necessary? Or does Tori Spelling drive naked with a meth lab in the passenger seat?
3. Did she seriously go on Twitter after crashing into a school with two kids in the car? “Mommy, I’m bleeding!” “Should I use a hashtag?”
And 4. Have I mentioned she has a hole in her chest? She has a hole in her chest.

Photo: Splash News

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  1. cc

    She ran into a school to get away from the paparazzi. I am not really sure she’s a celebrity that warrants that kind of pursuit from the paparazzi anymore. I mean, the occasional snap when you are bored but a car chase? Seems unlikely.

    • More likely someone with a camera started taking pictures AFTER she crashed her car…and now she’s blaming her dumb assedness on non-existent paparazzi.

      I’m gonna remember this one for my next DUI crash. Fucking paparazzi chasing me, ran me off the road and forced me to chug a bottle of scotch! Damn you paparazzi!!! when will it end!!

  2. AleisterCrowley

    It’s more fucking important to avoid getting your picture taken and you had two kids in the car and pregnant with another?That bitch doesn’t deserve children. Too bad her face wasnt undisfigured in the wreck!

  3. rican

    I like that Grand Canyon between her massive tits.

  4. Savalas

    Oh my god, is she ok?

    She is?

    Damn.

  5. Dr Ha-Ha

    There’s going to come a day when Kim K’s ass will fit perfectly into Tori’s ever increasing chest cavity. Maybe that, and not 2012, will signal the end of all and sundry.

    • Jesus, it’ll be like the continents coming back together again! Africa’s ass connects back into the gulf between North and South America – the seas will boil, stars will fall and the world will end!

      I just want it to happen waay AFTER October 2011 so that fucker Camping will STILL be wrong.

  6. Hugh Gentry

    why didn’t she just drive normal and not have an accident.

  7. JC

    Airbags are useless to her. They’re just swallowed up by her gaping chest hole.

  8. ManiacFive

    “Wht will it take? Someone dying for paparazzi to stop?”

    A Parisian Tunnel, a dead princess, and paparazzi taking pictures of her dying inside the car says; No.

    But without them, she wouldn’t be relevant and in the public eye anymore, and we just know thats all these people care about.

    • Brooke

      Yeah, when I read that I was like “Um… Princess Di? Did we forget about that tiny little incident?” but whatever. I don’t think anyone actually believes the paparazzi were responsible for her crash but Tori Spelling.

      • TomFrank

        Actually, I think Tori was deliberately, if subtly, invoking the memory of Princess Diana to attract symp—no, strike that. She’s just not that clever.

  9. You know it’s slow when the paparazzi are chasing Tori Spelling….

    • cc

      I am pretty sure that ‘chasing’ consisted of the pap coincidentally heading in the same direction. It’s about as much of a chase as people moving through the checkout aisle in the supermarket.

  10. Turd Ferguson

    Typical Hollywood. Jump right on Twitter and talk about it.
    LOSER.

  11. It’s Princess Diana all over again, but this time with a sad ending.

  12. Tori Spelling Crash School
    Commented on this photo:

    She better get herself to the doctor…she seems to have suffered some kind of horrific crushed chest injury…and that face doesn’t look too good either.

  13. Tori: “Wht will it take? Someone dying for paparazzi to stop?”

    Person: “What about Princess Diana?”

    Tori: “I mean a REAL person!”

    Person: “did you hit your head?”

  14. Brad Hallston

    Tweet first, Doctor for child second.

    Caring concerned mother that she is..

  15. Satan's bitch

    Tori: … “had a pretty big accident. Took down whole wall of school.”

    Real life: … “Spelling’s car was only slightly banged up. ‘She had minor damage to her car,’ the friend says, ‘and there’s minor damage to the wall at the school.’ ”

    Damn you paps, try harder next time!

  16. Satan's bitch

    Tori “had a big accident” and took down a whole wall. Her friend saw minor damage to both car & wall. Who’s at fault here? The paps or the tweeting famewhore?

  17. Artofwar

    …When are these celebrity– “never should have been born types”– going to realize that one cannot chase that of which is not running.

    If you do not trust my theory, then go outside and try to chase a tree.

    If you don’t want to be chased —then don’t run. Its really quite that simple you imbeciles.

    Princess Diana and her bunch would have still been alive today, if they had just followed this rudimentary rule.

    People have asked me why I have lost all faith in humanity, to which I quickly respond, “only the blind, the deaf, and or the stupid should not have.

    So if you have yet to lose your faith in humanity, you fall into one of the three aforementioned categories….Artofwar

  18. bonnieux

    some woman blogger , who is famous, not sure where she lives…. tweeted basically a play- by- play as her son drowned/ died

    ppl are ridic.. just stfu

    u aren’t that important and no one gives a fuck

    • Brooke

      Wait, what!? Her son was drowning and she blogged about it instead of helped him!?

      • b

        something like that . i don’t know if it happened in america. but i came across this story recently , and was just appalled. she has another kid, too. like ,,every hour she was blogging, ” my kid drowned” “my kids in the hospital” “my kid is dead” They (blog o sphere world) say she is pretty famous in the blogging community, so you could prolly google, “Mom tweets (or blogs) son drowning accident, and I bet ya you find it.

        PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING FROM A SEVER CASE OF NARCISSISM but apparently it’s no longer a classifiable mental disorder… oh what a world

  19. Michael

    Tori’s face looks natural here. But the boobs are looking weirder than ever. I mean, look how crooked the cleavage is.

  20. TomFrank

    I still don’t get the riding crop. Does she use it to keep her kids in line?

  21. Tori Spelling Crash School
    Captain Obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Even the sticker is ashamed to be in a picture with her

  22. the captain

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha: SHE SAW HERSELF IN THE MIRROR & PANICED?

  23. Sin

    She wishes the Papparazzi were stilll interested in her. She has been irrelevant since….oh, the day she was born.

  24. Jon and Kate Plus Hate

    Did any of you guys ever pleasure yourself to her? I know I didn’t, in fact I just turtleshelled big time just typing that

  25. imabrat

    Why is she wearing a nightgown?

  26. josh

    1. Have kids in car.
    2. See paparazzi and drive a billion miles an hour with massive disregard for everything.
    3. Blame paparazzi for your own retarded decisions.

  27. Tori Spelling Crash School
    Commented on this photo:

    Um, Tori? I know the gaping hole in your chest probably matches one that is in your brain, but, someone did die from the paparazzi chasing them. Her name was Princess Diana…and no, not even that stopped paparazzi from chasing people.

  28. Spaulding Smails

    She seems like a highly intelligent young lady. I think we should all agree to her view of the situation .

  29. Kamrynne

    Horsey face , will be o.k. …..

  30. Snooki Lover

    “Paparazzi chased me w/the kids 2school. I was trying to get away from him and had a pretty big accident.”

    If it was “him” and not “them” then that means it was one “paparazzo”, not “paparazzi” which is plural.

    Gosh, I just cannot believe someone used incorrect spelling of foreign loan words in a tweet! That doesn’t happen, surely.

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