Tony Romo meets Jessica Simpson’s exes

March 4th, 2008 // 71 Comments

Dallas Cowboy’s quarterback and Jessica Simpson’s current boyfriend Tony Romo got to spend the evening with her exes last night. Tony was recognized at Cosmopolitan’s Fun Fearless Male of the Year awards – along with John Mayer and Dane Cook. That’s awkward with a side of douche. Here’s what Tony remarked to E! News:

“I guess you date Jessica Simpson, that makes you fearless,” quipped the quarterback.

Yeah, because it’s really fearless to follow up Dane Cook and John Mayer. C’mon, Tony Romo, you could’ve been an axe murderer and looked like Prince Charming. Actually, that was more of a suggestion and not a joke. Here’s an axe. Start with Dane Cook. Tell him you saw a pair of flair jeans in the alley and it’ll be like shooting fish in a barrel. But with an axe.

Photos: Getty Images, Pacific Coast News
superficial

  1. Rick

    No, Tony, if you date Jessica it makes you tasteless.

  2. That’s the biggest collection of douches outside of Jimbo’s family album.

  3. steve

    Not a complete collection – they left out Papa Joe. Except I guess he’s really not an “ex” is he? He’ll still be boning her in the back of the church as “Here Comes the Bride” starts up.

  4. The Office Whore

    That’s the “Before” picture from last night. They’re all pointing at my ground-beef lookin’ poon in the “After” picture. It hurts so much to pee today!

  5. Jennifer

    really? Someone told me he is dating a beautiful girl he met through BillionaireCupid.c om. Is that true? I think everyone would like to see what their profiles look like.

  6. gits

    A picture of any two of them kissing wouldn’t surprise me.

  7. commish

    That group of candy asses would never date Kate Hudson.

  8. Ted from LA

    Does anyone think the word “douche” is overused nowadays?

  9. The Veggi Whore

    No Ted!! You just have to add some to it… like douchefucker. Come on, say it out loud. It’s the new fucktard..

    eat shit #5 and #3. mmm, k?

  10. Douche

    Only by armpit-level pants-wearin’ grandpas who also say “nowadays”.

  11. commish

    *raises hand*

  12. Overheard muttering to himself: If I hear “she sucks a mean dick” one more time…

  13. Auntie Kryst

    Tony Romo is fun and fearless? I think the ’05 MN Vikings from that love boat scandal would be better choices.

    Why did they let the parking valet sit in for that picture?

  14. Auntie Kryst

    Douchefucker!

  15. Taking it up the ass from a tranny doesn’t make a guy “fun and fearless.” More like “sore and confused.” At least that’s what Ted told me.

  16. **wink**wink**

    Look! It’s Joe Simpson with tits!!

  17. The Veggi Whore

    Douchefucker!!

  18. Jackie Blue

    Technically they cannot be considered exes because the men first have to acknowledge Jessica as a girlfriend. She was more like easy booty calls for the men. I hope she wises up.

  19. Pete

    Ok, so they’re not exes. How about, “guys who snowballed Papa Joe’s old-man spunk with Jessica”?

  20. mamadough

    i take a lot of pride in not recognizing the majority of the pansy asses in that picture

  21. mike

    @9 Ted, Yes, but not as much as calling you a pussy.

  22. pixiefarts

    Who the hell cares about those guys, John Krasinski is in the picture!

  23. @16 Hey asshole troll. if you want to rip on Ted do it in your own name and not mine..

    VeggiWhore Douchefucker! I like the way that sounds..

  24. D. Richards (Sadist.)

    ‘Fearless Male of The Year Awards?’ Fucking Stewpid!

    I hate Dane Cook — that fucking he’s-so-funny-college-fratboy-alcoholic-comedian, knot-kneed bastard. It’s not even that Dane Cook’s completely unfunny; I hate his audience.

    I hate all of those guys, really. It’s just that, besides John Mayer, Cook was the only person I recognized. Well, and that ‘Common’ guy. But he’s just happy to be there.

  25. The Veggi Whore

    @24- Holy SHIT! You’re right!!!!! I love him!!

    The Office. Brilliant..

  26. We’re OUT AND PROUD!!! And between this story and the one about the Idol ass wiggler, we’re having a great fuckin day!

  27. mike

    “VeggiWhore Douchefucker! I like the way that sounds.”

    because now Jimbo thinks he has a chance.

  28. mamadough

    i retract my previous statement (22) for john krasinski. i love that guy. for the rest of them, i have more testosterone and manliness in my left ovary…

  29. Cindy

    John Krasinski is pretty funny on his HUGELY OVERRATED show, but he’s every bit the latent cumguzzler as the rest of these fannyboys.

  30. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    Nick L’Douche unavailable for comment?

  31. The Veggi Whore

    Cindy. overrated? psh. hardly.

    nice one mamadough..

    Jimbo!! douchefucker IS great. Gotta give Auntie Kryst credit for that one!!

    Where’s FRIST!!!

  32. #1 – if you are going to be a troll, at least try to be funny.

    Does anyone else think poor dumb Jessica walked into the room and was like, “Wait a minute….huh…..these are all guys who ‘motor-boated’ between my big fun bags!”

  33. I am not sure where FRIST is today. I have only seen her troll. You know, those douchefuckers that pretend to by us..

  34. I am not sure where FRIST is today. I have only seen her troll. You know, those douchefuckers that pretend to be us..

  35. Roger Ebert's remaining jaw

    “The Office” is definitely overrated. It’s benefited immensely from airing during a period in TV when reality shows have proliferated like the cancer cells in my jaw, and all the quality writing has moved to cable. Steve Carell is always funny, but his character quickly became predictable, as did the others, who were far less funny to begin with. Rainn Wilson is the only reason to keep watching the show. He should be their Kramer but he’s actually their George Costanza (and their Jerry-and-Elaine both sssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkk).

  36. mike

    “Does anyone else think poor dumb Jessica walked into the room and was like, “Wait a minute….huh…..these are all guys who ‘motor-boated’ between my big fun bags!”"

    No, because we’re thinking of funny things instead.

  37. Here for the Humor & Clever Remarks

    #34

    lol!

  38. Here for the Humor & Clever Remarks

    #34

    lol!

  39. Here for the Humor & Clever Remarks

    #34

    lol!

  40. Cap'n Pickles

    @6. Jennifer? Yeah, I’ve seen your profile. “Short, fat, old asian chick that can’t drive.” Yeah Jennifer. I’ve just about had it with you. However, there is a way for you to get back in my good graces. First, turn off the rice cooker (everyone knows you have that thing fired up 24/07). go out to the garage and get a firecracker (we all know you sell them on the side). Then, book a ticket to a Dane Cook show (you notice I stated “show”, not “comedy show”).

    At the show, when Dane is going into one of his epileptic siezures to compensate for his douchness, rush to the stage, shove that firecracker as for as you can up his unfunny ass, and light the fuse. I will love you again Jennifer.

    God, I hate that fucktards humourless ass.

  41. The Laughing God

    She is wearing a nice sweater.

  42. Grunion

    I pray to god my teams QB is never spotted at the fun fearless fag awards..

    Nice work Romo.

  43. meh

    Dane Cook should die. Seriously. He’s not funny. I watched about 15 minutes of his stand up routine…all he did was yell. That’s supposed to be funny? Puh-lease.
    John Mayer=sissy. Probably the biggest sissy ever.

    I don’t know anything about this Tony Romo except that he blames his horrible playing on her. For that, he also is a sissy…but not as big of a sissy as John Mayer…close, but not quite.

    Jessica Simpson is just a big dumb.

    That is all.

  44. Gerald_Tarrant

    What is with Jessica? Why does she like these “I’m not gay, I just like to be pretty” metrosexual dudes? Oh wait, one of them didn’t shave yesterday to show how manly he is. It’s always good to be able to tell who the top is just by looking. There isn’t a speck of dirt under any of Jess’s exes. Maybe Tony’s but he gets a manicure in the locker room before he does any interviews.

  45. Ramon M.

    what the fuck? is that myspace tom?

  46. A

    I’m a cowboy die hard fan and what he needs to do is take that axe and chop her up into little pieces and discard them into the gulf of mexico. Then worry about being the QB of Americas team and get us to the superbowl. She’s skinny, ugly and has no booty, why does he want to be associated with her.

  47. kimmy4lsu

    anyone else notice that the only 3 guys in the pic not smiling have had sex with jessica? hmmmmm…….not happy to be there, obviously…..

  48. I LOVE JOHN MAYER INFINITY

    John Mayer is hot. There is something about him. Perhaps it is because I like tall men 6 feet and up;his thick wavy hair; his full lips; his clever and weird sense of humor; but most of all his Continuum CD rocks! I hope he makes another blues/soulful music CD. John Mayer writes, sings, and plays his own music; John Mayer Rocks!

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