Tommy Lee writes rilly gude

The Superficial / September 11, 2007
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Tommy Lee apologized on his official website today for getting in a fight with Kid Rock during Alicia Keys’ VMA performance of George Michael’s “Freedom.” He writes:

Yeah!! …..here I am minding my own biz having a great time with my friend Criss Angel (magician) and watching the MTV awards in the front row saying hello to all my friends……Pamela comes and sits on my lap who I love and adore….and also say hello to my friend Travis Barker and his wife!…..and i get a text from another friend P. Diddy and he says come sit with me…..and he’s sitting with Miss HOT Megan FOX so I go over and sit with P! Not a minute later and Alicia Keys starts her amazing performance….(“I apologize sweetie…..I had nothing to do with the timing and disrespect”)……back to the stupid-ness!!….so….. I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble…I stand up and embrace him with a semi hug and say “Hey dude…What up”?? He punches me in the face…..well if ya wanna call it that!?….more like a bitch slap!…….Wuss!! Anyway….i go to knock this jealous country bumpkin the f$%k OUT….and before I can have a meeting with my fist and his ugly ass mug ….security guards… grab me and haul my ass outta the award show! So I’m fine and of course leave to my room with police and owner of the Palm’s George Maloof……the rest is paper work and bullshit!… Anyway…… I would like to apologize to Alicia and George and MTV for the disrespectful bullshit caused by a piece of shit called Kid Pebble!!

We are in the presence of a modern-day Shakespeare. “Kid Pebble,” brilliant! If you didn’t read the entire message, do so now and treat yourself to a rare example of vernacular wit and cunning. Tommy Lee is truly a master of the English language and should be heralded as such. Bravo, Tommy, as a fellow wordsmith, I salute you and implore you to never sway in your literary endeavors. For tomorrow shall be a slow news day and, if you say something else stupid, I’m covered until lunch.