Tom Cruise is a jackass

February 5th, 2009 // 120 Comments

Tom Cruise’s stupidity almost caused an international incident while he’s in Brazil promoting his latest movie Valkyrie. Page Six reports:

Cruise tried to ingratiate himself to reporters by saying hola (hello) and gracias (thanks), not realizing that the language of Brazil is Portuguese, not Spanish. Accord ing to, Cruise also said he fell in love with Brazil watching movies about samba and tango, unaware that tango is an Argentine dance.

Realizing he’d made a faux pas, Tom Cruise quickly relied on his OT training to diffuse the situation. He then asked for his favorite Brazilian dish, General Tso’s Chicken, because Scientology is a fake religion invented by a science fiction writer. Ba doom sha!

Photos: WENN

  1. Que

    Que newsflash!

  2. p0nk


  3. havoc

    He’s just being glib….


  4. Gus

    Gracias?!?!? What a dumb douchebag… Was it so hard for him to learn how to say “Obrigado”.

  5. PourBeerOnAlkies

    He also watched Black Orpheus, and commented that it’s a blaxploitation take on the Orpheus story. Orpheus is a cold brotha man in that mothafucka. He’s got a plan to stick it to the man.

  6. Portugeezer

    Ola = Hello in Portuguese.

    So he only sounded half retarded.

    p.s. TCLTC.

  7. PourBeerOnAlkies

    He also watched Black Orpheus, and commented that it’s a blaxploitation take on the Orpheus story. Orpheus is a cold brotha man in that mothafucka. He’s got a plan to stick it to the man.

  8. Randal

    Such things happen when you’re as big as Tom Cruise is, always being flown around the world to where groups of screaming fans wait. Valkyrie has been a big hit for Tom, so it doesn’t surprise me that he’s doing the full world tour promoting it.


  9. He drugs katie holmes. I figure his personality for real is more like that crazy ass dude he played in tropic thunder.

  10. Tom Brady

    Come on, everybody knows he fell in love with Brazil while masturbating to pictures of Gisele Bundchen…at least until somebody told him she’s female.

  11. Kate

    I thought he was going to stop grabbing her arm and dragging her around like that?

  12. Massa'

    Tom Cruise was also a huge Biraq Obumma supporter, go figure. Deushbags.

  13. TUBBO

    I like Toms stepford wife.

  14. pete

    He should have tried harder to appreciate their country, like learning enough Portuguese to say “You certainly do have a lot of poor people.”

  15. Sid

    He looks like he’s with his mom at his First Communion.

  16. everyone

    #12 – you have only one thought and we’ve all heard it 100 times. If you can’t come up with new material get off the stage.

  17. Kate

    She has the weirdest legs.

  18. Beth

    What he was looking for is: Eu amo o caralho.

  19. Alberto Lupe Montoya

    I am discusted by his behavior. Maybe he should go back to hollywood and got some understanding lessons

  20. Canadian Idiot

    Whatever, I’d hit that

  21. morga

    Note to midget (who is about the same height as me): When you are are approx. the same height as your woman, do not let her wear 3″ heels. Idiot

    #6 – it’s similar, but I thought that in Portuguese you put much more stress on the “a”, vs. the “o” in Spanish. oh-LA vs. OH-la

  22. Mike

    He learned about Brazil by watching all 27 volumes of “Brazilian Trannies: Thongs and Dongs.”

  23. Europe


  24. Europe


  25. Jrz


    Show me the stupid!

  26. Raven11

    Tom Cruise is the most controlling and insecure person I have even seen in my life. I would love to see him keep his hands to himself for once and let Katie walk by herself. These pictures, and most other look like she is not able to walk under her own power. Note to #12: Learn how to spell. Hopefully you are not an American, because it really would be illiteracy if you didn’t know your own president’s name, regardless how you felt about him or her.

  27. Everybody knows there is NO difference from Mexicans or South Americans.
    Who gives a s h i t what language they speak, it has no relevance to the fact that both are wetback leaches on all of society.

  28. p0nk

    @26 – he’s afraid she’ll make a run for it.

  29. Yeah

    I guess sometimes, Innocence is not a bliss :D

  30. #22 Mike, LMFAO!

    What did Jesus say to the Mexicans before he left?

    Don’t do a damn thing until I get back!

  31. timmy the dying boy

    I saw the pic before the headline; I thought the item was about Vince McMahon.

  32. obvious

    How can anyone see Tom Cruise on the screen and not think “That high school drop out has SERIOUS problems?”

    His paid apologists work their asses off to cover for him but how quickly would any of us get up and move to another seat if we were sitting in a bar having a beer and Tom Cruise came in and sat down next to us?

  33. Canadian Idiot


    You have some serious problems. How are South Americans or Mexicans leeches on society? They “takin’ yer jobs”?

  34. Marie

    I agree with another poster. He seems to think his wife cannot walk without him grabbing on her and guiding her every step of the way, it’s ridiculous.
    Guess what Tom, she’s a big girl!

  35. azalea

    I can just see him trying to steer Nicole around like that; she’s have hissed in his ear, “Get your greasy paws off me, you little troll, or I’ll beat the living shit out of you right here and now!”

  36. Sauron

    Hola! :) Maybe he was making a joke? He got the attention anyway.

  37. Hay

    1) What do you mean with “fake religion”? All religions are fake!
    2) Fuck you for not letting me read the whole article on my feed reader. I’m out of here forever. You lost a reader, goodbye.

  38. lola

    I don’t know how Tom Cruise is in his personal life as I have never met him. But after looking at these photos I understand why he didn’t want Katie to wear heels. That isn’t controlling. This is embarrassing

  39. Richard McBeef

    Where are the scientology fucks at? Usually they come in and defend their saviour. Fuck Tom Cruise and fuck the Cult of Scientology.


  40. lola

    haha.. yes organized religions are fake. BUT DO NOT DENY THE EXISTENCE OF GOD. Just as Christianity says that women are cursed and worth 2/3 a man and Mormonism says that black skin is a curse on bad people. HAHAHA!! I am rolling over laughing for all of the people who believe this shit! Go on believing there is an actual reason that you are inferior and trying to live with it. Go on with all your useless wars and killing.

    LOVE GOD, not the bible

  41. Simba

    Jambo! My name is Maverick!

  42. pistola


    i agree… like tree trunks. sad…

  43. JPRichardson

    LOOK AT THOSE LEGS!!!! Yummy!

  44. PunkA

    Katie used to be so hot and cute and cuddly. Now she looks like a ginormous thing next to TC. I mean, he makes her look man-ish and hulky when they are photoed together and that is just wrong. I like hot chicks to look feminine, but look like they are amped up on roids and getting hulky. Damn TC for that.

  45. Alexis

    @ 27 you are a freaking moron! No difference between mexicans and south americans.. hahahahaha! Geezzz! I don’t even know where to start with you but I won’t cos…you don’t even deserve to breathe.

    Well, let’s be fair, Tom’s like most people in america. I’ve LMAO listening to americans answer questions regarding geography or culture from another country. Like, what’s the capital for argentina? lima? um yeah. They don’t know. Or they know two stupid referenses like “Oh, si si, argentina, tango and maradonna” hahahaha, retards.
    We are all part of the same world people, know your neighbor. And one day when the northern hemisphere starts to flood you’ll come knocking on our doors, beleive it! wahahahahaha.

  46. tom cruise

    dude, all religions are fake invented by somebody. so that really doesn’t make scientology any less plausible than the rest :P

  47. NY Ted

    Of course Tiny Tom Thumb is a “Jack-Ass”…but his wife has beautiful feet whch I would love to devour…as I fuck the living scientology right out of her!

  48. Alex

    poor girl, she looks like shit. he’s a douche. He fell in love with brazil watching movies about samba and tango? hahaha I’ve never seen a movie about samba. I saw one about tango that Robert Duvall filmed in argentina, he got married to an argentinian girl and he’s a huge tango fan but he cant dance for shit hahahah dancers in the tanguerias here talk about how bad he is. What an idiot, just google stuff before opening your mouth moron! hahaha. I’m thinking brazilian journalist wanted to eat him alive! There’s this huge rivalry between argentina and brazil mostly based on football hahahaha but we don’t like being mistaken with brazilians or the other way around. Despite what @27 we are far from being alike.

  49. He was so good as Les Grossman, I’m gonna let this one slide.

  50. 10pound


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