Tom Cruise’s religion gets kicked in the space nuts

April 16th, 2008 // 54 Comments

Actor Jason Beghe (CSI, Cane) was a high-ranking member in the Church of Scientology. He’s since left the church and decided to fire his proton torpedoes at the followers of L. Ron Hubbard. Jason has launched a scathing teaser interview (video after the jump) that promises a full-length interview exposing the inner-workings of Scientology. Here’s a rundown from Page Six:

“It’s very, very dangerous for your spiritual, psychological, mental, emotional health and evolution. I think it stunts your evolution. If Scientology is real, then something’s [bleeped] up . . . It ain’t delivering what it’s promised. It sure has not. The further up the bridge, the worse you get . . . I don’t have an agenda. I’m just trying to help. I have the luxury of having gotten into Scientology and after having been in it, been out. And that’s a perspective that people who are still in and not out do not have.”

But don’t think Tom Cruise is going to take this lying down. No, sir. He’ll do whatever it takes to defend L. Ron’s good name. Even if it means dressing up like a woman and getting hit repeatedly in the face with a roast beef sandwich, Tom’ll do it. Now where are his lucky stilettos? KATIE!

Photo: Getty Images
superficial

  1. Let me be the FIRST to say that Tom will indeed take it lying down. On his stomach.

  2. luna

    i would love to see Tom dressed up like a woman and getting hit repeatedly in the face with a roast beef sandwich

    they are all a bunch of nut cases

    who is happy ?

    nut cases !

    who give a DUCK

  3. Jumpin_J

    When he doesn’t dress up as a sandwhich, he’ dresses as a Nazi. Boy he’s got a weird fetich issue. And Katy, I hope you get the worst case of herpes since time bagan.

  4. Jumpin_J

    When he doesn’t dress up as a sandwhich, he’ dresses as a Nazi. Boy he’s got a weird fetich issue. And Katy, I hope you get the worst case of herpes since time began.

  5. Jenipurrr

    Ok…first off…WTF was he talking about half the time “OTs” huh? “theta”? wuh? And the crazy laughing bit….erg…

    they should make a horror movie starring scientology.

  6. insecthero

    Heh. Can’t wait to see how this plays out!

    I envision lots of lawyers, asshats, and people found dead in reservoirs.

  7. jesse

    FINALLY!

    I’ve been waiting for Scientology to get torn down for a long time. I just don’t understand how some of today’s most intelligent actors (excluding Tom Cruise, and other idiots alike) can take to a religion created by a FICTION writer. It’s just beyond me.

  8. Well what’s left to say? Oh that’s right…..

    TCLTC

  9. Geoff

    NO you don’t got it! GET IT?

  10. Auntie Kryst

    @6 OT = Operational Thetan, maybe Operating I’m not sure. OTs high up the Scientology ladder. OT status is achieved when the proceeds generated from your second mortage are turned over to their “church”..

  11. TCLTC

    For TC being such a nut case, the guy does gets decent putang.
    BTW TCLTC

  12. Tom

    Fucking Tom Yanessa has fucking gone fucking batshit since QB’ing the California Bulls huh?. Was he a scientologist when he made Monkey Shines?

  13. nipolian

    All that Scientology hoopla might be “Risky Business” (get it – I snuck that little zinger in), but I say who the fuck cares what others believe in. Live and let live.

  14. BunnyButt

    “Jason has launched a scathing teaser interview … that promises a full-length interview exposing the inner-workings of Scientology.”

    … only if he lives to tell the tale.

  15. Don't let yourself get pop fictioned

    re: this video, two words: Ashton Kutcher.

  16. Rut Roh

    The world may never be the same. My god, Scientology is a rip off and not true? Seriously….you mean….oh noez….Elrond Hubbard was full of shit and the majority of his followers are nutbag celebrities that really need something better to do with their time and dinero?
    ….GREAT….The next thing you’ll say is that Kim the Silicon Whore is actually fat.
    …I just don’t know what to do. I guess I better start taking my shrine to Tom Cruise and Tenetacle porn down.
    (I’m kidding, the tentacle porn stays)

  17. woodhorse

    He could have gotten his money back if it hadn’t been for the “improper use of an e-meter” clause. Bitch.

  18. Noah

    Does anyone else think it’s funny that there are Scientology advertisements all over this site?

  19. Bigheadmike

    I like flowers….

  20. tylerdurden

    What the sweet baby jesus is he on about?

    What’s a “Clear”? And who the fuck is Jason Beghe?

  21. Suomynona

    He’s “on about” Scientology. That’s their made-up language. It’s more screwed up than it first appears.

  22. caljenna66

    @ 8 – just because they’re actors doesn’t mean they’re intelligent. It means they can memorize big words that make them sound intelligent. We’re not talking rocket science here…

  23. Kurt Cobain was a scientologist, and look what happened to him!!!!

  24. Oveta

    Katie still looks pregnant. another little LRon

  25. Rick

    Youfoundthecard google Lisa McPherson! This is quite an amazing occurance. I’m so happy this is happening and Scientology is a non-tax paying cult!!!

    Down with Scientology!!!

    Anon FTW :P

  26. Celebutard Hunter

    @24 You are making that up. You shouldn’t joke with that.

    As for the Scientology exposé, what did you expect? They charge you about a quarter million for “liberating” you from your “centuries old” traumas. At the highest levels, the actually promise you can have superpowers (I’m not making this up; Google “M.E.T.S.”). What do you think it happns when, thousands of dollars later, you’re the same bloody moron who can’t even take a punch on the guts without folding like a brand new bill? You either play along, least they think you are a hopeless case (the Emperor’s New Clothes) or you walk away this fiasco very pissed off…

  27. sweet mama

    what the hell is he talking about

  28. El-COyote

    How much you wanna bet you get served legal from LRH today?

    TCLTC

  29. El-COyote

    I love that there is a Scientology recruitment video on this page… Thanks for the laugh Google Analytics!

  30. Quinn

    Ashton Kootcher or not…
    TCstillLTC

  31. p0nk

    ?Scientology = TCLTC

  32. Moses

    Hey Katie, 1986 called…..

  33. Anonymous

    We are legion.
    We do not forgive.
    We do not forget.
    Expect us.

    http://sargasso.nl/archief/2008/01/25/hello-scientology-we-are-anonymous/

  34. jesse

    #24

    Touche..

  35. Gerald_Tarrant

    Hey I believe in scientology. The evil Lord Xenu and all the bad Thetan vibes or whatever. Why shouldn’t I believe it, I’ve been to Dagobah. Man, it was crazy, my friend brought over this killer weed and we smoked it all. Suddenly I was talking to Yoda and shit.

    I figure if I could talk to Yoda, why can’t Tom, who LTC, believe in alien religion?

  36. LL

    K, don’t wanna insult a guy for speaking publicly about his dumbassery and good on him for at least having the cojones to admit it, but this Jason guy is just telling those of us with functioning brains shit we already know. Scientology (like all other religion), is a bunch of bullshit. A scam run by a small group of people who manipulate other people (very often psychologically fragile people) with fairy tales in order to get money out of them.

    Thanks for the news flash, dude, but we already knew this. ‘Bout time you caught on. Sorry for all that time and money you wasted. Live and learn.

  37. Harry Ballzack

    the Church of Scientology cracks me the fuck up –
    BOOK NUMBER 2 of 5 ON SCIENTOLOGY:
    It was initially created by self proclaimed “speculative fiction author” L. Ron Hubbard. (a sci-fi writer)
    HOWEVER – Scientology also predates Hubbards usage by several decades suggesting to me, he ripped it off from “Scientologie, Wissenschaft von der Beschaffenheit und der Tauglichkeit des Wissens” (for those who do not speak German – “Scientologie, Science of the Constitution and Usefulness of Knowledge”) from 1934 – or The New Word written even earlier by Allen Upward in 1901.
    Scientology means “The study of knowledge” and the cult/religion is structured in sequential levels, reflecting Hubbard’s belief that rehabilitation takes place on a “gradient”, Meaning each step promises a little more personal freedom in some particular area of life
    Other beliefs of Scientology are –
    * A person is an immortal spiritual being
    * The thetan(spirit) has lived through many past lives and will continue to live beyond the death of the body.
    * Through the Scientology process of “auditing,” preclears (newbies) can free themselves of traumatic incidents, ethical transgressions and bad decisions which collectively restrict a person from reaching the state of “Clear” – The auditing process involves “command” hypnosis, in which the hypnotist assumes “positive authoritative control” over the patient
    * A person is basically good, but becomes “aberrant” by moments of pain and unconsciousness. (Auto-Erotic-Asphixiation? Or just plain Knocked The Fuck Out?… because I gotta tell ya – either of the two would make ME aberrant)
    * Psychiatry and psychology are destructive and abusive practices –
    *Beware* – Scientologists are DEATHLY AFRAID of Psychiatrists and may attack if forced to answer “why?”
    Cruise has campaigned for Scientology to be fully recognized as a religion in Europe. He lobbied politicians in France and Germany, where the legal systems regard Scientology as a cult. (and Tom Cruise as an idiot) Several other countries have also described it as a “cult” and an unscrupulous commercial enterprise, accusing it of harassing its critics.
    There are eight “Celebrity Centers.” although Hollywood is the largest. Entertainers including John Travolta – Kirstie Alley – Lisa Marie Presley – Jason Lee – Isaac Hayes – Tom Cruise – Katie Holmes and James Packer have generated publicity for Scientology. Former Scientologists say that celebrities get more attention than non-celebrity practitioners. Ex Scientologist Maureen Bolstad noted that a couple of dozen Scientologists including herself were put to work on a rainy night through dawn planting grass in order “to help Tom Cruise impress Nicole.”
    I can see you left quite an impression on Maureen Bolstad too ……
    “Atta-Boy” Tom. That’s the way to treat people. Put em to work beneath you

  38. Jessica

    I have no idea what the hell he’s talking about! Clear? OT8? WTF?????

  39. Obamas Bride

    I don’t remember Katie looking so good before. Maybe Tom was a good thing?

  40. themoose

    Hmmmmm, sounds like the cult of Amway/Quixtar! Maybe they should get together and create a super religion!

  41. toonkinstein

    let me make one thing perfectly clear. T C L T C
    Having said that if this former member of the church of ScienWTFology thinks that little midget won’t take this sitting down *Oh shit he was standing up!* okay STANDING UP it is….I likes watching the midgets wrestling…it’s so comical…Tom wil be like those hairy bastards that attack Jack Black in Nacho Libre…snarling and biting people ankles….cos that is all he can reach…as always I leave you with this thought…
    T C L T C

  42. There’s a Scientology ad on the page! lol

  43. makemepuke

    “the Church of Scientology is a dangerous abusive morally-indifferent criminal organization masquerading as a church. It is a money-making power-coveting organization which organizes pro-social activities in order to create a veneer of benevolence to mask its deep corruption, which includes a rich supply of human rights abuses, free speech suppression, fear-mongering, government infiltration, imprisonment of members in labour camps against their will, dangerous and deceitful medical quackery and interfering with medical treatment of its members, extortion, psychological abuse, home-wrecking, and much more.”
    PS. This is not an original quote from me but in fact someone else`s..I have placed it here because it is the best definition of Scinetology I have seen to date. Oh and one more thing……. RUN KATIE RUN!!!!!

  44. Not Telling.

    …. I’d love to see him get slapped in the face with meat while in a dress. *large grin*

    Terminology:
    In Scientology, they have levels that you shovel out tons of money to achieve. These levels start with “OT.” So basically, being OT5 means he’s level five. Kinda like a video game.

    I think “clear” is their equivalent to “nirvana” or “zen” or something.

  45. Anonymous is Legion

    Google Lisa McPherson and go to xenu.net. Scientology is serious business, and this guy was lucky to have gotten out alive. I just hope he’s ready for years of harrassment and blackmailing by the Cult of $cientology.

    TCLTC

  46. FRT

    Do you think Tiny Tom would believe me if I said that L. Ron was my Grandpa and therefore you should let me plant my gene seed inside your wife Katie so that the Scientology family tree can continue ad infinite…??? Bet she would like it doggie style too…!!!

  47. terryeieio

    Hey David Mscavige! Do you have enough staff left to plug ALL the holes in the dam? BWAAAHAAAAHAAA

    and don’t worry people if you don’t understand all the scientology lingo…I’d worry WAY more if you DID…

  48. Thomas

    The Scientologists will kill him. They’ve done it before.

  49. geek mayor of nerdopolis

    Umm, it’s “photon torpedoes”, not “proton”…sheesh.

  50. Anonymous420

    Tommy Girl is in need of a real good bitchslap. I agree with you #7! L.Ron Fucktard was nothing but a psycopathic, washed-up sci-fi writer and probably had to invent $cienceFICTIONology to compensate for his teeny weeny WEENY.

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