Tom Cruise wants you to love him again

December 15th, 2008 // 41 Comments

Tom Cruise sat down with Matt Lauer on The Today Show this morning for the first time in three years. In 2005, Tom called Matt “glib” after the two got in a heated argument about psychiatry in reference to the movie star’s criticism of Brooke Shields. Since then, Tom Cruise has learned a lot – but not really. The guy’s career’s in the shitter and he needs you to like him enough to see Valkyrie. Otherwise, Tom has to settle for his own prime-time drama, and the Church of Scientology won’t be getting a new media room. Here are the highlights:

On calling Matt Lauer “glib” while debating psychiatry:
“It’s a subject matter that was important. After looking at it, I really thought, it’s not what I had intended. In looking at myself, I came across arrogant. I absolutely could have handled that better.”

On if Suri is getting a new sibling:
“I think that’s a question for the women.”

On discussing Scientology in interviews:
“I’ve been a Scientologist for 25 years. I think there’s a time and place for it. [But] when people are tuning in to hear about my movie, that’s what I’m here to talk about … I’m here to entertain people. That’s who I am and what I want to do. Certain issues and things have a time and a place in the proper environment.”

You know what’s a great way to win back a female audience? Say “I think that’s a question for the women” when talking about children. No, really, women love to know their place which in Tom’s case is chained in the kitchen – except for that Broadway show you’re allowed to do to shut your publicist up. Why do I suddenly hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet? No, wait, Tom, don’t jump on the keyboa-

Xenu most hilarious! He will call celebrities the douche all the time. Give him moneys or Tom find you.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Dirk the Magnanomous

    Media whore!!!! Just shut up. We don’t care. You are a freak, and have proved it numerous times. You can’t put that genie back in the bottle now that it has ruined your career.

  2. Scotlog

    What a douchebag. Such an obvious play for public approbation. . .

  3. Like they always say


  4. SandraB

    That tool has been up here in Canada for the past week whoring his new movie. You KNOW he’s desperate… I don’t know if he’s ever been in the frozen tundra before.

  5. Toet

    Tom makes small jokes funny.
    Y’know, because he’s so fucking small.

    Wait. Tom Cruise, David Miscarriage… Anyone else starting to see some sort of trend here? I demand to know how tall Hubbard was.

  6. uh huh

    yeah sorry tom, i can’t help but think i am supporting Scientology when i pay to see and/or buy your movies. i think i’ll pirate them instead :)

  7. Melanie

    Superficial Writer: You are by far the funniest blogger on the internet. No matter how awful my day is going, all I have to do is read one of your posts and I’m cracking up.

  8. Jillian

    Tom will be at the premiere for this movie tonight!!

    Anyone else gonna go?

  9. He must have realized how bad his career is getting and that no one will pay to see his movies any more…

  10. is it just me, or does tommy girl look manorexic?

  11. His ass is a cock sheath.


  12. pitseleh

    what a fucker.

  13. Jose


  14. Valkarie? whats a tv movie doing on the silver screen?

  15. Erica

    “I think that’s a question for the women.” –specifically, Katie and the female OB-GYN holding the turkey baster. “Is this ok or are you too sore from last night?” is what Tom considers to be a question for the men.

    Funny thing – sadly, I read People, and Tom’s blitz was all over the last issue. Everybody – including the writer for People – referred to his wife as “Katie” while Tom alone referred to her as “Kate”…especially while he tried to refute the perception that’s he’s a control freak. Freak.

  16. soahc

    Freak or not the dude’s just plain inarticulate. Take a public speaking class for crying out loud!

  17. I bet he’s had more dicks in him than the Republican convention…

  18. Lily

    Tom Cruise came across as arrogant?! No way!

  19. Kate

    He’s got the Top Gun haircut. Its like he’s saying “Look! I’m Maverick, remember? Remember when you liked me?”

    And no, Tom, we’re not tuning in to see you talk about your (by all accounts) shitty movie. We’re here to see if Matt Lauer can provoke you into going batshit crazy again.

    You can almost hear his publicist turning the wheels in this media blitz. “Look, he’s normal! The last few years? Ah, he’s just kidding.”

  20. britney's weave

    that’s a question for the women b/c there’s no way in hell he’s taking time out from his busy schedule of banging men. the end.

  21. sb

    “Xenu most hilarious! He will call celebrities the douche all the time. Give him moneys or Tom find you.”

    Okay, that was funny. As is the notion of Tommy boy trying to resurrect his career. Almost as entertaining as watching him crash it in the first place.


  22. dianne

    I love Tom but he is a weirdo….

  23. The cult has really taken its toll on an otherwise good person. It is sad what scientology does to people.

  24. No One

    Good to see Anonymous was there.

  25. No One

    Good to see Anonymous there.

  26. NY Ted

    What a fucking DORK…!

  27. meknow

    You see, He has a male thetan crawling up his butt! His smile gives him away. I bet his brainwashed zombie wife was waiing at the door when he came home. They both SUCK.

  28. washington


  29. Kristen

    haha! I love the asian guy and his sign.

  30. Lisa

    Why doesn’t this little gay nutjob just go away?

  31. zsa

    “I think that’s a question for the women.” What the fuck does that mean???

  32. zsa

    “I think that’s a question for the women.” What the fuck does that mean???

    Does his sperm have nothing to do with it? Obviously not, if it’s a question for “the women”.

    And who are “the women”? Isn’t he married and currently having potential babies with just ONE woman?

    It’s increasingly obvious to me Katie was just a breeding machine and arm candy to him, and she can’t even be arm candy anymore since he made her look like a haggard, beyond her age version of her old self.

    Somebody needs to snap their fingers to free Katie from the hypnotised trance she’s obviously in.


  33. Carla

    By “the women,” I believe he’s referring to his wife and daughter….but perhaps that’s too absurd an assumption?

    And as a woman, I think it is obvious that, in a couple’s decision to create a child, the wants and interests of the person who will actually bear the child should hold greater weight . While I’m no huge Tom Cruise fan, I don’t think that the quote “I think that’s a question for the women,” implies he wants to deny or shirk his own role in the “baby-making process.”

    It’s not a terribly clever or charming thing to say, though. Sounds kind of smarmy….kind of glib.

  34. Poor Tom. He is probably unipolar on the scale that is manic-depression. He is manic and if he were anyone else he would of landed his ass in the emergency room of a hospital and been taken up to the psych ward, PRONTO. He needs meds to stop his manic episodes. It’s so obvious how he tries to squelch it with his will.

    It are the FUCKING scientology-brains!!

  36. Gerard, you AND your site are boring. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  37. STINK

    Tom Cruise getting a stiffie while prancing around in a Nazi uniform…I think I’d rather watch Sean Penn and Josh Brolin make out…actually I’d rather vomit…

  38. ivan

    What a fucking ignoramus.
    He should’ve quit acting years ago and taken the time to get an education.

    Every time he opens that girlie mouth of his, you can SEE the stupidity flowing out.
    I’ve had pets who, on their worst eating-their-own-vomit days, looked like Rhodes scholars compared to this moron.

    Here’s a tip, twinkie:
    When you portray a Nazi in the movies, you should at least have SOME semblance of a German accent.

  39. NastyBedazzler

    I still like this guy despite going off the deep end for awhile but he does have good taste in choosing which movies to star in.

    I think a lot of these comments are “me-too” comments just agreeing with the Superficial writer. We’re all entitled to our opinions and that was mine.

  40. He is probably the unipolar manic depression scale. She is frantic and he would if he were someone else’s ass in a hospital emergency room has landed and psychological ward, quickly took over. She needs meds stop their manic episodes. It is obvious that he tries to squelch it with his will.

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