Tom Cruise wants you to love him again

Tom Cruise sat down with Matt Lauer on The Today Show this morning for the first time in three years. In 2005, Tom called Matt “glib” after the two got in a heated argument about psychiatry in reference to the movie star’s criticism of Brooke Shields. Since then, Tom Cruise has learned a lot – but not really. The guy’s career’s in the shitter and he needs you to like him enough to see Valkyrie. Otherwise, Tom has to settle for his own prime-time drama, and the Church of Scientology won’t be getting a new media room. Here are the highlights:

On calling Matt Lauer “glib” while debating psychiatry:
“It’s a subject matter that was important. After looking at it, I really thought, it’s not what I had intended. In looking at myself, I came across arrogant. I absolutely could have handled that better.”

On if Suri is getting a new sibling:
“I think that’s a question for the women.”

On discussing Scientology in interviews:
“I’ve been a Scientologist for 25 years. I think there’s a time and place for it. [But] when people are tuning in to hear about my movie, that’s what I’m here to talk about … I’m here to entertain people. That’s who I am and what I want to do. Certain issues and things have a time and a place in the proper environment.”

You know what’s a great way to win back a female audience? Say “I think that’s a question for the women” when talking about children. No, really, women love to know their place which in Tom’s case is chained in the kitchen – except for that Broadway show you’re allowed to do to shut your publicist up. Why do I suddenly hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet? No, wait, Tom, don’t jump on the keyboa-

Xenu most hilarious! He will call celebrities the douche all the time. Give him moneys or Tom find you.

Photos: Splash News