Tom Cruise wants to see how we, the little people, live and is taking the family on a “no-frills” camping trip across the US, according to the Daily Mirror:
An insider told us: “They’ll be accompanied by a friend from the church of Scientology, as Tom never likes to be too far away from his religion. They will also have security camped down the road to keep any unwelcome people at bay.”
Well, the smell of Tom’s carbonara will have people – and wildlife – flocking from miles around… “They are certainly likely to cause a bit of a frenzy,” agreed our source. “But the whole point of them moving away from luxury holidays is to do things as a normal family.’ Suri will be three next month and Tom and Katie want her to experience as much normality as possible.
The Superficial has obtained the full itinerary for “Big Tom’s Wilderness Romp”:
1. Catskill Mountains.
2. Truck stop.
3. Truck stop.
4. Truck stop.
5. Jim’s All-Leather Emporium.
6. Truck stop.
7. Mt. Rushmore.
8. Truck stop.
9. Truck stop.
10. Truck stop.
11. Grand Canyon.
12. Truck stop.
13. Burning Man.
14. Pants-Free Campground U.S.A.
15. Truck stop.
16. Truck stop.
17. San Francisco.
18. David Beckham’s Backyard.
19. Prison.
20. Disneyland.
I sense a lot of bonding here. Happy Trails, Cruises!
Geoff | March 11, 2009 at 1:53 pm
LAST!
Suri | March 11, 2009 at 1:53 pm
FIRST you fucking fag of a dad
big me | March 11, 2009 at 1:53 pm
FIRST! =)
A-HA!
Que | March 11, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Que exciting!
big me | March 11, 2009 at 1:55 pm
ow… =(
(ass)Lieutenant Colonel John Travolta | March 11, 2009 at 2:02 pm
I love the smell of Tom’s carbonara in the morning. You know, one time I had his ass rammed for 2 hours. When it was all over, I looked at the sheet. I didn’t find one spot that wasn’t covered in Astroglyde, feces, and semen, not one stinkin’ clean spot. The smell, you know that carbonara smell, the whole sheet. Smelled like…victory.
juniper | March 11, 2009 at 2:03 pm
katies got tommys balls on a platter. he looks like mr. mom!!
I LOVE KARI | March 11, 2009 at 2:05 pm
KARI I HAVE THAT LARGE SEMEN DEPOSIT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR! WHERE CAN I “DROP IT OFF”???
Lich King | March 11, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Is it wrong for a man to have extramarital relationship?? These days, some news reported that some celebrities joined the famous online dating club
_____BIGBLACKCONNECT.CO M____ and they are seeking someone else there though they have husband or wife else….They said, they do not care which races guys or beauties come form there …
Nick | March 11, 2009 at 2:11 pm
#7 you’re insane. Check out the ever-present “steering hand for Kate”. One day a couple of years ago he put a sleeping pill in her drink and then he drank her frontal lobe through a straw he jabbed into the corner of her eye socket.
FRIST!!! | March 11, 2009 at 2:15 pm
#8, how old are you?? I’m guessing about 14.
GuyHolly | March 11, 2009 at 2:17 pm
If the guards are parked so far away, how are they going to take a bullet from Tom…………excuse I mean for Tom.
mc | March 11, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Tom must be watching Big Love, to have come up with this idea. Watch out Katie, multiple wives are on the way.
harrybalsac | March 11, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Hey #9 – lich my nuts!
Apes in the White House | March 11, 2009 at 2:21 pm
They are a wierd looking family, but not as wierd looking as the First Monkey, Michelle Oboombox, pictured below:
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……..@@@……..@@……(0__0)………@@……..
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…….@………..@@@…/^^^^ww^^^^\….@@@….
…………………..@@…({..\—–O—–/..})…@@@@
………………@@@…..\\www—www//…@@@..
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I LOVE KARI | March 11, 2009 at 2:26 pm
IF THATS WHAT YOUR INTO…. HEY ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY SEXY
srdae | March 11, 2009 at 2:31 pm
@15. You need to get laid. Hopefully by that thing in your picture there.
Jennyjenjen | March 11, 2009 at 2:34 pm
TCLTC
p0nk | March 11, 2009 at 2:35 pm
TCLTC
I LOVE KARI | March 11, 2009 at 2:38 pm
YOU ARE SOOOO SEXY
Crazy Old Bitch | March 11, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Fish, You forgot about them going to Northern Georgia where Suri will get into a dueling banjo contest, and Tom will show the family what squealing like a pig is all about. The only difference between this trip and Deliverance is the security will use deadly force to stop anyone who tries to prevent the “rape” scene from happening like 75 times.
FRIST!!! | March 11, 2009 at 2:50 pm
TCLTC
testing | March 11, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Well it is nice that Suri will get to experiene eating carbonara with a Scientology representative like we all remember doing on camping trips growing up.
I LOVE KARI | March 11, 2009 at 3:04 pm
TCLTC
lawrence | March 11, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Wanna join a hot and heated forum that discusses the truth about these big stars?
____Tallmingle C om____ has lots of sports fans there! besides, it’s hot models, milfs, sexy chick s and handsome young men and chicks mingle club!!LOL checka!! :-)
P0nk | March 11, 2009 at 3:25 pm
TCLTC word
el ces | March 11, 2009 at 3:59 pm
He’s not ruffing it unless he dismisses the security and has to kill a stalker with his bare hands.
He’s The Last Samurai.
Gando | March 11, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Does he has a new hairdo? He’s just jealous on his wife Katie Holmes!
havoc | March 11, 2009 at 4:06 pm
LMFAO @ #6 !!!!
Tom never really lets go of her does he? He’s always got her arm.
.
R2-D2 | March 11, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Boop beep! They seem to be happy with baby-wookie! Blip!
gando no speaky englissss | March 11, 2009 at 4:10 pm
time to lay off the jack daniels at work.
Darth | March 11, 2009 at 4:15 pm
An elephant stands for wisdom,strength and is majestic and so on.But if it takes a shit,it’s a big shit!
Sauron | March 11, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Obviously this photo wasn’t taken in the USA.Just coincidence that yellow bear in the background?
Lowlands | March 11, 2009 at 4:25 pm
@15 Don’t you think it’s time for a new piece of astonishing art?:)
M- | March 11, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Yeah, it’s completely normal to go on a camping trip with security detail…
Hey | March 11, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Hey Fish, you got the story all wrong! The title says “Tom Cruise wants to rough it.” It is supposed to read “Tom Cruise wants it rough!” Then the story went on to explain how he was going to take Kati and Suri to the woods, tie them to a tree, and then make sweet “carbonara” (tom’s secret word for anal poundage) with a “member” of Scientology, as Tom likes hot jizz up his a$$ from someone of his religion (because they are batsh*t crazy like him).
Get it right next time plz.
Matthew | March 11, 2009 at 4:57 pm
free katie! and TCLTC
aleen | March 11, 2009 at 6:14 pm
She’s no doubt beautiful! And I love young lovely girls, I don’t really care about the social norm! sincere and sensual people on __Agelessmate.c om__ care nothing but chemistry! True love and feel right are what they really care!
pantz | March 11, 2009 at 6:27 pm
I agree. Free Katie! She used to be so hot: http://www.actressscene.com/search/label/Katie%20Holmes
Mike | March 11, 2009 at 7:27 pm
‘They’ll be accompanied by a friend from the church of Scientology, as Tom never likes to be too far away from his religion’
Read “A male that is just as willing to fuck the wife, as he is willing to fuck the wife”
Jenna | March 11, 2009 at 7:40 pm
I think I can speak for everyone from the Catskill Mountains when I say… we don’t want you Tom. Keep your Scientology away from us hicks without teeth.
HellaSoreAss | March 11, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Tom has just commissioned the Scientologists to build him a custom glory hole for every state he visits.
Georgia | March 11, 2009 at 9:29 pm
What about Tom Cruise’s other kids? Why are they never photographed jetsetting the globe with Katie and Tom?
drewski2u | March 11, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Look at the asians in the back, gazing, hell, gawking in admiration of Tommy boy. I’m sure they’re thinking, “Well, at least I’m sure I’ve got a bigger dick than him…..”
gerard vandenberg | March 12, 2009 at 2:18 am
STRANG WITH HIS LENGHT folks?
Narcissist | March 12, 2009 at 3:05 am
The articles seem more entertaining lately. More surprising.
Mike | March 12, 2009 at 10:24 am
“43. Georgia – March 11, 2009 9:29 PM
What about Tom Cruise’s other kids? Why are they never photographed jetsetting the globe with Katie and Tom?”
Don’t you mean Jett-setting?
herald | March 12, 2009 at 2:11 pm
I THINK TOM IS DOING THIS TO GET IN CLOSER TOUCH WITH PEOPLE, SO HE’S TRYING TO REGAIN HIS LOST POPULARITY. SORRY TOM IS FAKE AND IT FEELS ON THE AIR.
Adrian | March 12, 2009 at 6:40 pm
HAS ANYONE NOTICED THAT SURI IS ALWAYS WEARING DRESSES? WEIRD.
DanBob | March 12, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Whys he always holding on to her like that, is she gonna fall over? Truck Stop…yeah we get it.