Tom Cruise says he will eat Katie Holmes’ placenta after she gives birth, telling GQ magazine:
He should teach a class, “How to Bury Your Career, Efficiently.”
how do i post a comment
didn’t mean to post that. First timer.
Tom Cruise is crazy as a goat
and he likes the ding-a-ling
I realize that it’s common in other cultures to eat the placenta of newborns, but Tom Cruise was born in Syracuse for cryin’ out loud.
I’m hoping the next South Park is about Tom Cruise eating Gwyneth Paltrow’s placenta.
Now that’s some good placenta….I guarrrrrraaanteeeeee it.
i think he meant to say he would eat the doctor’s penis not katie’s placenta
if this doesn’t make ya wanna stay away from MI3, i don’t know what will… the dude is a serious basket case…
Tom will season the placenta with a generous helping of fine Louisiana Tabasco sauce. Tabasco goes great on anything. Just look at the list on the bottle. I’m surprised they don’t already have bodily organs listed.
Guess that’s where Tom comes in. He’s taste testing it for the inevitable PR tour in which he tells people how much better placenta and cock taste with Tabasco on top.
Because, as we all know (say it with me now), Tom loves the cock.
There is another type of animal that eats the placenta after birth… It is the Hamster. The hamster mother will usually eat the placenta right after birthing her litter so she can gain the nutritional protein elements in order to help her nourish herself better so she can better her chances for nurturing the pups from her teats. It is solely for breastfeeding purposes. The father hamster sometimes eats the young for no good reason. I, personally, believe that Tom feels that his child WILL be the reincarnated L. Ron Hubbard, according to the fuct scientology myths, and he wants to harness some of the energy for himself. Yeah Tom!! Don’t forget the A1 sauce…
#8 that was some funny shit… i almost peed myself
#11 – Thank you for reminding me for what I had erroneously left out of my earlier post:
Tom loves the cock!
Tom loves the COCK!
Gross gross gross gross
Wow, I am starting to feel for Katie Holmes. Why she puts up with this craziness is beyond me. I say break the contract Katie! You can’t live with this guy for 9 more years… you know before he leaves you and convinces another sad woman the same contract he has delt on you.
It would be great if Katies vagina sucks Tom up and the baby swallows Tom in one gulp.
Okay, everyone keeps saying how much Tom Cruise loves the cock, and while I’m not disputing that, I am curious as to what evidence there is to support such a claim.
Can someone please enlighten me, or I am expecting too much when I ask for some type of factual account of Tom’s cock-loving ways on a slimey gossip site?
If God decides to get involved in this debacle, I hope he makes the baby come out looking just like Chris Klein. No, not a baby-fied version of Chris, which leaves it open for debate, but a baby with a full head of hair and teeth and a fully formed nose, and all the other shit involved with an adult head, looking like Chris. I don’t care if the head is baby sized; so long as it looks like Chris, I’m good.
I guess it could also be born with a birthmark across its chest that says “Inspected by #6, Chris Klein”, or maybe “Product of Chris Klein”, or maybe, “Thank you God for making Chris Klein my biological father instead of the cock loving, couch jumping, crazified Tom Cruise.
Or even better than that, it could say, “Tom Cruise loves the Cock… my daddy, Chris, told me so after reading it on The Superficial”! I mean, I know all these are pretty big to be putting on a baby, but I don’t have a problem with wrap-around text.
Another frightening thought is that of Katie snacking on some afterbirth with her snaggleteeth!
TOM LOVES THE COCK!!!
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