Tom Cruise still being crazy

April 18th, 2006 // 159 Comments
tom-cruise-placenta.jpg

Tom Cruise says he will eat Katie Holmes’ placenta after she gives birth, telling GQ magazine:

superficial

  1. He should teach a class, “How to Bury Your Career, Efficiently.”

    http://www.wehateeverybody.com/

  2. fanie

    SSSSIIIIIIICCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. morokolli

    how do i post a comment

  4. tits_on_snack

    mmmm afterbirth-a-licious.

    seriously folks.

  5. morokolli

    didn’t mean to post that. First timer.
    Tom Cruise is crazy as a goat

    and he likes the ding-a-ling

  6. Devil Is Chrome

    I realize that it’s common in other cultures to eat the placenta of newborns, but Tom Cruise was born in Syracuse for cryin’ out loud.

    I’m hoping the next South Park is about Tom Cruise eating Gwyneth Paltrow’s placenta.

  7. ms.magoo

    Now that’s some good placenta….I guarrrrrraaanteeeeee it.
    Disgusting.

  8. brewdick

    i think he meant to say he would eat the doctor’s penis not katie’s placenta

  9. trophywife

    if this doesn’t make ya wanna stay away from MI3, i don’t know what will… the dude is a serious basket case…

  10. ms.magoo

    Now that’s some good placenta….I guarrrrrraaanteeeeee it.
    Disgusting.

  11. theyareidiots

    Tom will season the placenta with a generous helping of fine Louisiana Tabasco sauce. Tabasco goes great on anything. Just look at the list on the bottle. I’m surprised they don’t already have bodily organs listed.

    Guess that’s where Tom comes in. He’s taste testing it for the inevitable PR tour in which he tells people how much better placenta and cock taste with Tabasco on top.
    Because, as we all know (say it with me now), Tom loves the cock.

  12. Aaronmalamend

    There is another type of animal that eats the placenta after birth… It is the Hamster. The hamster mother will usually eat the placenta right after birthing her litter so she can gain the nutritional protein elements in order to help her nourish herself better so she can better her chances for nurturing the pups from her teats. It is solely for breastfeeding purposes. The father hamster sometimes eats the young for no good reason. I, personally, believe that Tom feels that his child WILL be the reincarnated L. Ron Hubbard, according to the fuct scientology myths, and he wants to harness some of the energy for himself. Yeah Tom!! Don’t forget the A1 sauce…

  13. trophywife

    #8 that was some funny shit… i almost peed myself

  14. Devil Is Chrome

    #11 – Thank you for reminding me for what I had erroneously left out of my earlier post:

    Tom loves the cock!

    (alltogethernow)

    Tom loves the COCK!

  15. Baroness

    Gross gross gross gross

  16. Wow, I am starting to feel for Katie Holmes. Why she puts up with this craziness is beyond me. I say break the contract Katie! You can’t live with this guy for 9 more years… you know before he leaves you and convinces another sad woman the same contract he has delt on you.

  17. caddachrome

    It would be great if Katies vagina sucks Tom up and the baby swallows Tom in one gulp.

  18. BigJim

    Okay, everyone keeps saying how much Tom Cruise loves the cock, and while I’m not disputing that, I am curious as to what evidence there is to support such a claim.

    Can someone please enlighten me, or I am expecting too much when I ask for some type of factual account of Tom’s cock-loving ways on a slimey gossip site?

  19. LickyLicky

    If God decides to get involved in this debacle, I hope he makes the baby come out looking just like Chris Klein. No, not a baby-fied version of Chris, which leaves it open for debate, but a baby with a full head of hair and teeth and a fully formed nose, and all the other shit involved with an adult head, looking like Chris. I don’t care if the head is baby sized; so long as it looks like Chris, I’m good.

    I guess it could also be born with a birthmark across its chest that says “Inspected by #6, Chris Klein”, or maybe “Product of Chris Klein”, or maybe, “Thank you God for making Chris Klein my biological father instead of the cock loving, couch jumping, crazified Tom Cruise.

    Or even better than that, it could say, “Tom Cruise loves the Cock… my daddy, Chris, told me so after reading it on The Superficial”! I mean, I know all these are pretty big to be putting on a baby, but I don’t have a problem with wrap-around text.

  20. PocketRocket

    Another frightening thought is that of Katie snacking on some afterbirth with her snaggleteeth!

    TOM LOVES THE COCK!!!

  21. DonLes91

    See, that’s just being selfish. If it’s so nutritious, he should share with Katie. Greedy bastard. He wants all the placenta and cock for himself.

  22. boo

    dude, that’s so gross, and not cool. i was busy forking tabbouleh salad into my grill when i happened to spill it all over me because i was too busy being grossed out to actually make it into my mouth. yeah, i’m a sped.

  23. Libraesque

    Excellent, I hope he keeps on the insane train, then KH will have no problem proving to the court that he shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near her or the kid. I hate to burst the haters bubble, but this quote was from his interview with Diane S. Fri, and he was, I’m sorry to say, actually joking for once.

  24. Binky

    I think he’s read about the term ‘eating out’ in some hetero book and is taking it a bit too literaly.

  25. Land-Man

    She’s flat.

  26. morokolli

    # 6
    Isn’t it dogs that eat the placentas of babies? My dog did that when she gave birth. And i really wasn’t remotely aware that some cultures do that…you mean humans??? I’ve seen placenta shampoos and treatments, but never on something edible. Anyway, Cruise is definitely cooockoo

  27. jugsgirl

    Everyday when I have an important decision to make- I think to myself what would tom cruise do.

    I have to admit its making life so much fun. Like yesterday my boss asked me to stay late, I started jumping on the couch. He said nevermind, he didn’t need me to stay late and actually gave me a week off.

    I love Tom, like Tom loves the Cock.

  28. To Scientologists, the partaking of the placenta is a holy experience. Much like getting ass-slammed by German porn stars. Just ask Tom, he’s well-versed in all customs L.Ron.

  29. my_glorious_lawn

    He said “maybe I won’t”, but drug addicts can say the same thing about not using drugs again. Tom Cruise can eat that placenta with some A1 sauce if he wants to. Man, someone try to tell him that it’s time to jump off of cloud 9. I can see why some people will be repulsed by that comment. But, it’s Tom Cruise.

  30. Spangler

    Yes, I agree he should offer some to Katie. I think its usually the female animal that eats the placenta/afterbirth anyway. I feel sorry for Katie, also. You can’t tell anymore which stories about Tom Cruise are real. He’s just totally ruined his image/career and he’s going to ruin hers as well. He should have stayed quiet like he used to. That’s the only reason Nicole Kidman came out of their marriage with dignity.

  31. Alia

    But why can’t this be over already like the Looney Tunes Cartoons… ttaaaa thaats all FOLKS!

    He is a lunatic and a narriscitic sociopathic manic. If he were not famous no one would care and he’d be in a padded room somewhere same from human viewing.

  32. rmeno

    Katie looks really happy doesn’t she.

  33. Devil Is Chrome

    Morokolli – Believe it or not, the French saut

  34. Alia

    Post 31 meant *safe*

  35. Alacran

    He probably likes to eat many other things…

  36. PapaHotNuts

    I’m not gonna knock it until I try it. Are there any women here I can hump, impregnate, the show up at the birth with a spoon,fork? If it tastes bad, then I will know Tom is crazy, but if it’s good…..

    PapaHotNuts Placenta and Waffles

    Get on board investors, because every time a baby is born, that’s cash splattering on the floor.

    digusting

  37. Ez-EEEE

    mmm placenta, pass the hot sauce please.

    is there really any doubt in anyones mind now that tom cruise doesnt guzzle cum by the bucketfulls?

  38. jugsgirl

    papa-
    you already humped and impregnated me. birth will be June 29, don’t forget the tabasco and ranch.
    jugs

  39. k8tekila

    Ok that’s when people have to say :ENOUGH!!!
    He can be as fucked up as he wants, he does NOTTTT need to share that info with everybody else.

    If I went running down the street saying I want to eat my placenta or anybody else’s placenta, I’m pretty sure I’d be in a loony bin by now.

    Can’t anybody do anything? Hang him with the umbilical cord? Pleasseee??

    He’d probably eat his way out of it though…

  40. Rustler

    The Sun was misquoted,what Tom was going to do was blend the placenta with some crushed ice, pineapple juice, and coconut and make a Plancenta Colada

  41. tits_on_snack

    #26 – yeah people do tend to eat the placentor afterwards. It’s not really that unheard of. But the thing is, it’s the mother who is supposed to eat it, because she is the one who needs the nutrients. Not the weirdo father.

  42. sweetNsassyfrass

    OMG seriously people, this is so retarded!
    I love how people just grab on to an idea and go nuts about it. This one being, Tom Cruise is Crazy. Everyone jumps right on the bandwagon – shocking.
    I’d love to see how “normal” or “sane” any of you guys would be if you lived in the spotlight for as long as Tom Cruise has! So he’s a bit too enthusiastic for some, but it’s actually refreshing considering how jaded and sarcastic everyone is these days.
    Grow up!!

  43. Devil Is Chrome

    #42 – You are obviously an agent of Scientology volunteering at the center in Hollyweird to monitor all Tom Cruise related gossip in a futile attempt to justify his behavior.

  44. Haley

    Freaking gross. Katie Holmes used to be my neighbor in Wilmington, NC. She was quiet. She’d hang out in the bookstore. She was nice. So weird.

  45. Land-Man

    stop lying.

  46. Haley

    Freaking gross. Katie Holmes used to be my neighbor in Wilmington, NC. She was quiet. She’d hang out in the bookstore. She was nice. So weird.

  47. Land-Man

    stop lying.

  48. PapaHotNuts

    Yea, Haley, quit lying. Bitch.

  49. Zanna

    Oh would you shuuut the fuck up #42? Your probably flicking your clit to a picture of Tom Cruise in an old Teen Beat magazine right now. And if you’re not don’t steal my idea.

    Besides…you don’t have to be famous to be fucked up. Look at you. Hell..look at ME.

    Cock-a-doodle-doo-any-cock will do – TOM CRUISE LOVES DA COCK!

  50. jenny4a20

    I wish the placenta would eat him….

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