Tom Cruise saved New York after 9/11

January 17th, 2008 // 173 Comments

These Scientology videos of Tom Cruise have been popping up left and right the past few days, but then disappear just as quickly. The church’s lawyers are working overtime to get them off YouTube. This latest one is Tom Cruise claiming he saved New York City firefighters after 9/11. The narration is ass horrible and Tom Cruise is creepy as hell in full Scientology mode. I’m kind of afraid he’s going to kick in my shins (anything above my knees is safe) and crawl into my body in a crazed hunt for toxins.

NOTE: If this video no longer works right after I post this, sorry!

EDIT: Lord Xenu strikes again. It’s down.

superficial

  1. Anonymous

    Come ON, Johann. Where is my answer? Are you going to have some of your Scientology goons start following me? Or try to discredit me to my co-workers and neighbors because I DARED to challenge the “church”? That seems to be the way your cult operates.

    Waiting for answers, Johann.

  2. some guy

    give it a rest Anonymous.

  3. Anonymous

    Come ON, Johann. Where is my answer? Are you going to have some of your Scientology goons start following me? Or try to discredit me to my co-workers and neighbors because I DARED to challenge the “church”? That seems to be the way your cult operates.

    Waiting for answers, Johann.

  4. Retardology

    I can’t believe that anyone would actually admit to being part of this whole brainwashing horseshit excuse for a “religion”. And what is this “level” shit? When did religion become a video game? I DON’T CARE WHAT LEVEL YOU ARE, YOU ARE A DUMBASS.

    Additionally, when did this site become so boring? It’s 2 PM and all we have are a couple of boring posts. Nothing even on Britney’s paparazzi experience. Someone needs to hire help, it seems.

    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.

  5. some whore

    Johann- entertaining.

  6. Auntie Kryst

    @91 Carryists, Cujologists, Hari Christines?

    PS “wall of fie” I meant “fire”, goddamn typos.

  7. Johann

    dude, read my answer at #92, I’m obviously not a scientologist, just bored at work. Although in copying-and-pasting info about scientology I was sent my +20 arch-mage staff, which gives me the ability to poorly battle people on the internets, and I can heat up a cup of coffee only using my thoughts.

  8. Anonymous

    I think Johann has been scared off by the TRUTH. He won’t answer my questions because he KNOWS he can’t. Fucking Scientologists, you are nothing but brainwashed idiots. Nothing more. You are NOT better than everyone else, like you think you are. You are all total SCUM.

  9. Anonymous

    Aw, poor Johann, he’s been exposed. Fucking freak. Just die already and take Cruise with you, you cult worshiping piece of shit.

  10. hehe

    Johann, that was some quality trolling, in the legit sense of the term (not as used here).

    “An Internet troll, or simply troll in Internet slang, is someone who posts controversial messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, with the intention of baiting other users into an emotional response.”

  11. Damn, I get back from lunch and this crap is still here.

    TT, we can only pray that they found the suicide note next to her cold dead body..

  12. Auntie Kryst

    @107 Touché. Had me fooled, well done.

  13. hausfrau

    Johann is not answering because Johann is a TROLL. Or maybe he/she was killed for revealing too much information. How come they don’t kill Tom?? In most religions homosexuality is frowned upon.

  14. RAT

    South Park has the correct history of the scientology cult.
    The sad part is they have tax exempt status.

    And the architects of the so called “fair tax” the 30% sales tax created by scientologists.,
    Also the homeless problem was created by closing the mental institutions in the 80′s also created by a community psychiatrist who now works for the scientologists. Before that there were few homeless.

    Fucking psychos!! all scientologists should be killed!!

  15. mkell

    I watched part of a clip wit’ TC over somethingawful…holy hell, the guy’s speaking absolute gibberish. He’s totally hard-core all the way about this bullcrap, but he never once actually said anything that conveyed any meaning.

  16. Shallow Val

    106 – Laughing SO HARD at the Hari Christines……

  17. Shallo Val

    109 – Anonymous

    He was making it up. Does anyone remember the Moonies?

  18. Auntie Kryst

    @116 ok Val last one: Dolores Claibourneagains.

  19. Shallow Val

    lollollollol

    ELL OH ELL

    that wins the prize ding ding ding!!!

  20. edamame

    #63 (Johann) Go fuck yourself, FLAGSTYLE.

  21. edamame

    Just the basic books for the “religion” costs $3,000! One of their newest facilities is in Clearwater, Florida…so, if anyone wants to get their cult on….while overlooking the Gulf of Mexico….call 1-800-POSTULATE. (I swear…that’s the number!) ha ha!

  22. Spike

    hollywood central stole this article. i dunno if they are stealin more, but thot someone might like to know
    http://hollywoodcentral.us/hollywood/tom-cruise-saved-new-york-after-911/

  23. Johnnydader

    Anybody interested in buying http://www.tomcruiselovesthecock.com?

  24. Cynthia

    Scientologists use a LOT more of their brains than Christians do.

  25. L. Ron

    Well said Cynthia very well said. That will shut up the wogs. Now it’s time to take an eMeter reading, I think you’re very close to going clear. What’s that you say Cynthia? Oh my certainly we will take a check from you.

  26. Patrick Bateman

    Hmmm…. what’s the bigger cult Scientology or the Mormon Church?

    Romney and Cruise in 08!!!!!!!!!!

  27. A. Sanderson

    Tom Cruise is no stranger than Bush who claims he spoke with god. pft.

  28. Matt

    I agree with Cynthia, although I certainly don’t like the cult of Scientology. But spot-on about Christians – the whole religion is based on accepting Christ while turning off your brain. You only have to read one book, and even then, you really only need to read the second half of it. Most Christians I’ve talked to sound just like that – a half-book type of mind. No wonder there’s so much automatic bashing of something that’s different.

  29. edamame

    #125 Cynthia
    Geez, where are you on the Tone Scale, and how much did it cost you to get there? Keep payin’, sister…and rocket right up that Bridge.

    I can’t believe seemingly “smart” people fall for such a load of ego-stroking horse
    shit. You know, the same techniques (of positive reinforcement and worthless “rewards” work for my children, too. Receiving a title such as a “Patron with Honors of the IAS” and a “Double Cornerstone Member for the Super Power Expansion Project” is the exact same thing as putting a gold star on my toddler’s chart for going pee-pee in the potty.

    For what it’s worth, I find most “religions” to be cultish bullshit.

  30. BStone

    Has anyone ever wondered why there have been no documentaries or why there are never any news reporters that do stories on Scientology? They (Scientoligists) think that they have all the answers but are extremely secretive. This seems very similar to other organizations ran by Jim Jones or David Koresh. Kool-Aide anyone?

  31. Poon Jabber

    Guys, they have the video at http://www.internetisseriousbusiness.com

    Tom really is screwed up in the head. wow!

  32. edamame

    I read an piece on http://www.cracked.com that stated the Top ten secret Scientologists….and one of them was Greta Von Susteren?! Anyone know if she is for sure?

  33. Thomas

    Why split hairs? All religion is for the weak-minded, who simply were unable to grow up and leave the fairy tales where they belong, in childhood.

  34. TOMBRUISE

    They have the link on lemonparty.org

  35. HankTheDwarf

    #134, exactly. I love these christians/jews/muslims who laugh at another wacky religion just because it was invented 50 years ago instead of a couple thousand. A con man from the year 500BC is the same as a con man from the 50s.

    ITS ALL THE SAME BULLCRAP FAIRYTALES, RETARDS. GET OFF YOUR INVISIBLE HIGH HORSE. ITS ALL MIND CONTROL.

  36. LL

    Let’s face it, all really religious people are creepy, no matter what religion it is. Tom Cruise just kicked up the creepy a couple notches with his bouncing around and his shit-eating grin. I honestly don’t find Scientologists more ridiculous than Mormons or Hindus or really any “mainstream” religion.

    But don’t get all excited, Scientologists. I still think you people are out of your goddamned minds. Like almost Britney-caliber nutjobbery. I’m kinda surprised Britney isn’t a Scientologist by now. She seems like she’d be easy pickings. Rich and maladjusted and insecure and dumb.

  37. 23apples

    I don’t want to offend anyone, and I’m not a doctor, but doesn’t he sound schizophrenic? I watched the video of him that was shown during the “scientology awards program”, and his speech seems incredibly disorganized and disconnected… none of those sentences made any sense (to me), it was like he was just saying a bunch of words with no meaning. I didn’t see the firefighter video, but the fact that he believes he was saving/helping these people when he wasn’t at all is a sign that he is delusional.

    I dunno… just a thought. I know most-to-all people think he’s crazy, so it just kind of fits.

  38. not TOMBRUISE

    or oelse go to meatspin.com for the links

  39. big teeth

    Being gay for so many years without being able to tell anyone really has scrambled his brains.. fame and fortune has turned out to be quite the devil’s bargain for poor Tom.

  40. THE VIDEO ON UTUBE

    Is this the same one that was posted on the site?:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5H5zS3aVCY

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5H5zS3aVCY

    He just rambles for far too long. Goes around in circles the whole way. I really missed his point?

    *note if you want to find it for yourself on YOUTUBE, just type “tom cruise” in the search field and click “search”

    Then you will see:
    Search Results for “tom cruise”

    Sort by: (you can change this option – select “Date Added” from the drop down list.)

    It’s the top one atm -& you’ll see more of the recent ones on the first page

  41. whatever

    Mother Hubbard should have aborted L Ron with a rusty coat hanger.

    Mother Cruise should have had her son committed by age 5.

  42. I think people are missing the point that Johann was kidding. It was a joke. A scientology joke. It was HILARIOUS!!!

    #63 and 82 were fucking FUNNY!!!! I laughed.

    Love,
    your Fish Prom Queen

  43. XENU

    Johann -

    I AM XENU! YOU WILL BOW BEFORE ME BITCH! I MADE L RON PUSSY MY PERSONAL BITCH, AND HE BENDS OVER AND TAKES IT EVERY NIGHT! That’s right, I fuck him nightly because my technology is superior to yours! I brought L Ron back from the dead JUST TO FUCK HIM IN THE ASS! And let me tell you, he really enjoys it! I fly him around in spaceschips that look like DC9 commercial jets, and I fuck him in the ass. BECAUSE I AM XENU!

    Bow before me, Xenu, galactic overlord of the Milky Way, and maybe I will spare your ass. Mmmm…that’s good Ron. Keep sucking my cock!

    BOW BEFORE XENU! BOW!!! HA HA HA! YOUR PATHETIC TECHNOLOGY IS WORTHLESS! XENU WILL CRUSH YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

  44. XENU

    Johann -

    I AM XENU! YOU WILL BOW BEFORE ME BITCH! I MADE L RON PUSSY MY PERSONAL BITCH, AND HE BENDS OVER AND TAKES IT EVERY NIGHT! That’s right, I fuck him nightly because my technology is superior to yours! I brought L Ron back from the dead JUST TO FUCK HIM IN THE ASS! And let me tell you, he really enjoys it! I fly him around in spaceschips that look like DC9 commercial jets, and I fuck him in the ass. BECAUSE I AM XENU!

    Bow before me, Xenu, galactic overlord of the Milky Way, and maybe I will spare your ass. Mmmm…that’s good Ron. Keep sucking my cock!

    BOW BEFORE XENU! BOW!!! HA HA HA! YOUR PATHETIC TECHNOLOGY IS WORTHLESS! XENU WILL CRUSH YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

  45. Berndog

    Hey – can someone just put up a link to the video with the fireman? We’ve all seen the 10 minute fireside chat one.

  46. AmeriCanadian

    Fuck $cientology, indeed.

  47. FRT

    Hey Fish…that didn’t play too long…better watch out…the “Hubbard-Patrol” will be paying you a visit in the middle of the night…If you wake up an see a little pale gray alien at your bedside…don’t be alarmed…It will just be pip-squeak Tom come to suck your brain out of your head…and fill your empty cavity with 50 year old frozen Ron L. Hubbard grey matter!

    The cult is out there!

  48. albinofro

    So basically, nothing new.

    1) TCLTC and is still batshit crazy because of his humongous denial and resulting Scientology fanboyism
    2) Scientology is still a cult/ridiculous/dangerous/stupid

    What’s new to me, though, is that they give out annual batshit awards now.

Leave A Comment