Tom Cruise saved New York after 9/11

January 17th, 2008 // 173 Comments

These Scientology videos of Tom Cruise have been popping up left and right the past few days, but then disappear just as quickly. The church’s lawyers are working overtime to get them off YouTube. This latest one is Tom Cruise claiming he saved New York City firefighters after 9/11. The narration is ass horrible and Tom Cruise is creepy as hell in full Scientology mode. I’m kind of afraid he’s going to kick in my shins (anything above my knees is safe) and crawl into my body in a crazed hunt for toxins.

NOTE: If this video no longer works right after I post this, sorry!

EDIT: Lord Xenu strikes again. It’s down.

superficial

  1. Stoopid

    I have a TV, it’s called a Xenith

  2. The Beer Baron

    4- classic line, I use it in everyday banter

    I seriously hope the next thing Tommy says is that he proclaims he helped save some Jews from the Holocaust in WWII. And that he did it by putting them in his Mellow Yellow stock car.

  3. LayDeeBug

    not for nothing, but I believe he’s not only a closet faegele, but he’s a nazi too.

  4. Whitman

    I think this is a link to the video: http://gawker.com/5002269/the-cruise-indoctrination-video-scientology-tried-to-suppress

    I like to keep an open mind, but there is a man with limitless wealth and influence, who seems deranged.

  5. ds

    u can see this creepy vid on dlisted

  6. Rowdy Gains

    No,……….. I saved the Jews.

  7. Anonymous

    Rachel,

    You seriously need to fuck off.

  8. I’d like to propose a change in name, due to false advertising concerns, as “scientology’ seems to imply . The choices are below:

    Bullshitology
    Guyfukology
    Eddiemurphyism
    Menfukkery
    Nuthubbards

    and finally

    Are you fucking kidding me?

  9. Katie

    I hate Tom Cruise and it makes me feel good to hate him. I love this site because everyone else hates him, too. I think he has a big nose and is very short; therefore, he has got no reason to live. I think his kids should be taken away from him and given to Britney who is obviously more sane than him.

  10. Tom Cruise DID use his witchcraft to save Ricky Bobby. Is that what this video is about??

  11. You want to make money, start a company. You want to make a lot of money, start a religion. Thanks for paving the way Hubbard! I’m worshiping my beer right now, and I believe!

    http://www.theunsoberlife.com

  12. Is there a new post yet? Hasn’t Britney done something today?

  13. Johann

    I will face serious consequences for my statements, but as a Scientologist I must stand up for truth. I can’t believe the negativity brought up about my faith, but if you would give it a chance you would see the benefits are many. Learn, and understand KSW before you judge. We will change the world, you (SP’s) will be a thing of the past.

    KSW = Keeping Scientology Working; a policy letter written by L. Ron Hubbard stating this is what is needed to keep Scientology in its truest form, not deviating from what Hubbard wrote. Per the policy letter, it means doing the following:

    One: Having the correct technology.

    Two: Knowing the technology.

    Three: Knowing it is correct.

    Four: Teaching correctly the correct technology.

    Five: Applying the technology.

    Six: Seeing that the technology is correctly applied.

    Seven: Hammering out of existence incorrect technology.

    Eight: Knocking out incorrect applications.

    Nine: Closing the door on any possibility of incorrect technology.

    Ten: Closing the door on incorrect application.

  14. bb

    Jimbo: Britney is a whore, she does something (or someone) everyday. You’ll see something soon…

  15. The Office Whore

    @61- Guess I need to get baptized. In Vodka. FRIST and I are ready to give our lives to this cause. Maybe I shouldn’t speak for her….. but I’m gonna anyway… If I misspoke, I’ll gladly buy you a shot frist!!

  16. Texas Tranny

    Jimbo,
    I saw something about a suicide note she wrote……

  17. Breaking News for Texas

    People, this is serious shit here. Did you know that a UFO has been spotted right here in Texas? That’s right folks. It was spotted just a hop, skip and a Hubbard jump from my neck of the woods. Xenu has landed! Of course Tom knew to deliver him to us. I mean, look, we gave the world Jessica Simpson! Texas rocks!

  18. Breaking News from Texas

    People, this is serious shit! Did you know that a UFO has been spotted right here in Texas? That’s right folks. It was spotted just a hop, skip and a Hubbard jump from my neck of the woods. Xenu has landed! Of course Tom knew to deliver him to us. I mean, look, we gave the world Jessica Simpson! Texas rocks!

  19. #63 – Where’s the man fucking part? And how many heads does Xenu have?

  20. Gleanie

    What I’ve gleaned

    1. Scientology is a cult
    2. Tom Cruise is fucking crazy
    3. Katie Holmes did not run the NY Marathon.
    4. I can’t believe it tastes like butter.

  21. lol

    #63 when technology goes awry, do they use some form of Ctrl + Alt + Delete policy? that’s what they’re basically doing right now with youtube haha

  22. dj

    The should do a new dawsons creek w/ the new Scientology-ized katie.

    -DJ

    http://www.gossipsquad.com

  23. Anonymous

    Johann,

    I say we close the door on YOU and that brainwashing cult you call a religion. You Scientologists are all a bunch of mentally ill nutcases.

  24. Pamela

    I often find your posts very funny. I am not a scientologist in any way, shape, or form. But I was a resident of lower Manhattan who spent 2 years very, very, very sick from breathing in the air there. I went through the program Tom Cruise helps fund out of desperation because doctors could not help me. It worked and probably prevented me from ended up with cancer or lung disease. It also saved alot of policeman, firefighters, and other residents. Go to nydetox.org. Unfortunately, I do not find this one funny. The more people focus on Tom Cruise’s involvement, the less likely other dying rescue workers will look to this detox to save their lives.

  25. fo'sgirl

    Ok..I am NOT here to endorse my website or anything like that. But I was reading something on TomCruiseIsNuts.com and they actually quote The Superficial on it’s site. LOL Under “Others on Tom”… it’s pretty funny.

  26. LayDeeBug

    71 – Laughing my head of RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!!!

  27. juniper

    #22, IICR, there is no God in Scientology. They think at least some religions are a propaganda sent centuries ago to make your inner alien quite unhappy.
    BTW, Gawker has all the videos now.

  28. Shallow Val

    63 – Huh? So what’s the technology….don’t just keep us hanging, bro? Don’t tease me bro! (chuckling to self)

  29. Anonymous

    Hey Johann,

    If your so-called “religion” is just that, a religon, then explain WHY people have to pay astronomical amounts of money to move up in the ranks? Give me a good, honest answer, not a bunch of double speak to try and confuse people. Explain it or fuck off. Bet you won’t. You know why? Because you CAN’T. Come on, let’s hear it.

  30. steve

    Hey guys!
    HERE’S A SITE THAT REFUSES to take it down:

    gawker.com

    Enjoy! Warning: Tom Cruise is fuckin’ creepy.

  31. fo'sgirl

    You know I was thinking…I really hope Stephen King starts up his own religion…that would be BAD ASS!! The Devil would be a killer clown…it would be AWESOME…and kind of scary!!

  32. Johann

    For the record I know nothing about any Xenu character. I am currently a level 7, and still have much to learn and attain to. Some say knowledge is power, so isn’t it reasonable to pay for such knowledge? Do you attend college or university free of charge?

    It has cost me very little to get to this point. I’m pretty sure I’ve paid less than $100k total. It is a small amount compared to what I’ve gained.

  33. The Beer Baron

    With all this talk of technology, maybe the creator of Scientology is Napoleon Dynamite’s brother, Kip. After all remember what he sung, “…I love technology, but not as much as you, you see… But I STILL love technology… Always and forever.”

  34. Ted from LA

    #74,
    You’re not very funny. At least say “fuck” or something.

  35. some whore

    hmmm, I’m not, like, super smart and stuff, but I call serious bullshit dude at #82.

  36. Auntie Kryst

    @74 Pamela seriously, what was so great about that center? By the video it looks like a giant sauna filled with fireman which probably made Tom giddy as a schoolgirl. If it did help, good for you, but it seems kinda fishy to me.

  37. Anonymous

    Johann,

    See, I knew you couldn’t/wouldn’t answer my question. You Scientologists are nothing but a bunch of brainwashed idiots. Some religion you have. You abuse and threaten people who dare to stand up to you. Explain that. Bet you can’t. Why? Because you know I’m right. WHY does your “religion” threaten and harass people? WHY, Johann? Answer my question! You know that it happens, now EXPLAIN WHY it happens. Can you? Huh? Can you?

  38. BunnyButt

    Tom Cruise for President!

  39. Anonymous

    And, Johann, every penny you’ve given to your “church” is money completely wasted.

  40. p0nk

    #82, you’ve gained a freightcar full of shit, i’ll get you to level 8 (another freightcar full of shit) for half of that 100k.

  41. Shallow Val

    81 – now THERE’S a religion will join. The StephenKingologists. WalkingDudeanetics. Langolierellians. The Talismaners. The Bright and Shinings.

  42. Johann

    #85 damn you some whore, I thought I was playing it pretty smart:)

  43. RAT

    Tom Cruise MUST BE KILLED!!!!

  44. Shallow Val

    82 – that is total balderdash. No one believe him. Nice try dude.

  45. Anonymous

    Come on Johann, waiting for your answer. WHY does your “church” threaten and harass people? OUT WITH IT, Johann!! Answer the question!!

  46. mer

    I still like him!

    Swarovski Crystal, Sterlig Silver, Handmade Jewelry http://redwinedesign.etsy.com

  47. mer

    I still like him!

    Swarovski Crystal, Sterling Silver, Handmade Jewelry http://redwinedesign.etsy.com

  48. toolboy

    $380,000 to get on board that mother ship.
    Parliament’s mother ship is only a fraction of that and I guarantee the ride will be more enjoyable.
    Please, Tom saving the firefighters? When 9/11 hit, he thought it was Xanadu (Xena, Zima, whatever) returning. He was recruiting all the hunky boys he could find for that long flight home.

  49. Auntie Kryst

    @82 You’re OT 7, way to go Johann! I thought at OT 3 is when you go through the wall of fie and learn the “truth” about the universe. Does that mean you get a window seat on the DC8? What’s the movie on the flight? Oh don’t tell me. Is it Battlefield Earth? Also for the $100K you paid, does that get you a degree that you can put on a resume to get a job? Had I known that I would have skipped college too so I could correctly learn the correct method to correctly use the technology. Otherwise I would be incorrectly using the technology. That is the opposite of correct, and must correct the incorrectness, is that correct?

  50. Aqualuvbug

    87 – Reminds me of Christianity during the 11th century

Leave A Comment