Reports are going around that Tom Cruise has started wearing lifts in his shoes so as not to appear so much shorter than Katie Holmes. He’s 5’7″ and Katie is between 5’8″ and 5’9″, but when they walked the red carpet for the premiere of Mission: Impossible III they were the same height, and Katie was wearing three inch heels.
Cruise’s spokesman, Paul Bloch, insisted that nothing was out of the ordinary: “He had normal shoes on.”
After viewing photos of TomKat at the L.A. opening, where their knees were at the same level and Cruise’s trousers were pooling around his ankles, Manhattan podiatrist Rock Positano said: “If the pants are all the way down to the ankle, you really can’t see how much heel the person has. There’s a lot of ways you can camouflage lifts,” said Positano. “Occasionally we will see people who put lifts in their shoes for height, but we don’t do it and we don’t recommend it. Someone could hurt their knees or throw their backs out.”
Considering how insane he is, I guess we should just be glad Tom Cruise isn’t running around on stilts.
Tom | May 8, 2006 at 6:33 pm
First first!
Tom | May 8, 2006 at 6:34 pm
(Wow! That was my first post and I was first!)
Anyway, anybody seen that video of him trying to dance with a load of rappers?
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 8, 2006 at 6:37 pm
Tom IS NOT MY FRIEND!
meat-tulip | May 8, 2006 at 6:39 pm
What’s next, a fucking pogo stick?
ellaminnowpea | May 8, 2006 at 6:40 pm
we already know he has ‘little man’s syndrome’….lifts or no lifts…he’s still a small man…..actually he’s looking rather ‘petite’ and ‘metro’ lately….
meat-tulip | May 8, 2006 at 6:41 pm
She loooks like a burnt tortilla in that wrap-around dress.
Tom | May 8, 2006 at 6:43 pm
I found the video. I feel silly now.
Give it time and he’ll get these:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDNZzseSeJ8
diedl | May 8, 2006 at 6:45 pm
He’s such a little Napoleon. If only we could exile him to Elba as well . . .what a wonderful world it really would be.
diedl | May 8, 2006 at 6:46 pm
btw, did it strike anyone else that Katie looks a lot like Catherine Zeta Jones in that pic above?
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 8, 2006 at 6:50 pm
Now, why would you do that to the people of Elba?
Italian or not, they’re people, too, you know.
Italian Stallion | May 8, 2006 at 6:52 pm
Shouldn’t he be in a tree somewhere making cookies with the rest of the scientology elves, or at the horse track hanging out with family……..
Hara | May 8, 2006 at 6:58 pm
mmm. Go ahead. Throw your back out Tom!
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 8, 2006 at 6:58 pm
Seriously, what the fuck is she wearing?
Whatever happened to the little girl I fantasized about being the English teacher for?
ellaminnowpea | May 8, 2006 at 6:58 pm
‘props to the peeps who shunned MI:3′
the people have spoken — they’re done with this lunatic — he needs to go drink lots of purple kool-aid!
krisdylee | May 8, 2006 at 7:04 pm
He should get those really cool lifts that have goldfish in the heels. If he did that, I would hate him a little less.
krisdylee | May 8, 2006 at 7:07 pm
TCLCCJ
Tom Cruise loves creamy cock juice…
maryaries | May 8, 2006 at 7:10 pm
At the end of M:I:3 (advance screening, no vitamin money from me!), you can see Tom wearing lifts in the scene where he’s walking on the bridge. So obvious and made me laugh out loud.
Italian Stallion | May 8, 2006 at 7:13 pm
@14 I went to see MI3 this weekend and threw up like five times, not really from the movie but all the dudes in scientology shirts blowing each other in the theater. It’s a weird little cult they got going on there, and their leader Tom……He loves the cock too………
ellaminnowpea | May 8, 2006 at 7:20 pm
you’re forgiven, Stallion….only because there was real entertainment going on IN the theater….
delicious_dysfunktion | May 8, 2006 at 7:23 pm
#14,
We may have won the battle but we lost the war,people are still going to see it and line the pockets this sociopath so he can have his daily baths in cock-milk to retain his youthful glow.
TCLTCM
Libraesque | May 8, 2006 at 7:25 pm
krisdylee, I heard he bought Prince’s goldfish-heel-platforms off e-bay, but he only wears them when he fucks Chad Slater the porn star. Give Katie a few weeks, she’ll wonder out for coffee with them on, when he takes his next trip to Europe
CruisingForCock | May 8, 2006 at 7:35 pm
I’m actually amazed that he hasn’t forbidden her from wearing heels at all.
HollyJ | May 8, 2006 at 7:35 pm
SWF seeking
short
closeted gay
high school dropout
cult fanatic
control freak
with no dancing ability
in high heels
Grphdesi23 | May 8, 2006 at 7:43 pm
Tom Loves The Cock
soooo much so that he is eventually going to ask doctors to attach a prosthetic penis to his back so that he can systematically insert it into his manhole every chance he gets!
Tom Cruise = Cult Puppet | May 8, 2006 at 7:44 pm
I know this gay dude at work named Francisco who said he banged TC and was surprised how TC shrunk 2 – 3 inches after he took off his shoes. Fran says he’s a bear and TC loves bears so that just proves TC’s indiscriminate love of the cock in all its glorious shapes and sizes.
tsarinaamanda | May 8, 2006 at 7:58 pm
@25
LOL, SOM! That’s fucking hysterical, I’m sure there are many, many more guys out there that could claim the same thing, you know, fucking TC, after all, TCLTC. The important question is, who was pitching and who was catching?
Jacq | May 8, 2006 at 8:00 pm
The doctor doesn’t see anything wrong with running around with a dick in his ass?
He needs shoes like the ones Pee Wee wore during the tequila dance. They would be less obvious even though they were glaringly white. Plus, it would give him an excuse to dance around and point at his penis. Micropenis.
tsarinaamanda | May 8, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Oh, I just realized something. “TCLTC” could ALSO mean “The Cock Loves Tom Cruise”. Isn’t that sad that I just thought of this?
Jacq | May 8, 2006 at 8:01 pm
#26 – Pitch-n-catch isn’t nearly as important as the reach-around.
Italian Stallion | May 8, 2006 at 8:17 pm
@19 for the record I would never go see that fucking movie, I won’t even watch that TURD FISHERMAN when it’s free on regular tv………..
ellaminnowpea | May 8, 2006 at 8:19 pm
what happened to the old days when you didn’t dump your ‘newborn’ (I’m sure it’s 4 months old already-but I’m trying to go with the flow) and trot around town? WHO does that? Who CAN leave a ‘newborn’ when you’re nursing? Remember when it was all ‘traumatic’ because you were leaving your baby for the first time? Apparently they just don’t give a shit….you KNOW that kid is teething already….you KNOW IT!!
ellaminnowpea | May 8, 2006 at 8:20 pm
Oh! I KNEW you were a good man, Stallion!!
MeganHarris | May 8, 2006 at 8:21 pm
what a moron! wouldn’t it be easier for katie to not wear ANY heals, and just have flats on?
redsonja1313 | May 8, 2006 at 8:22 pm
#6 OMG too funny !!! My favorite Tom Cruise game, guess what way they hide his shortness on film !!! If you watch in places in War of the Worlds he comes up to Tim Robbins nipple. Now if he could just rest a beer on his head he would truly be the gay man his lifts hope to aspire to be !!!
sweetcheeks | May 8, 2006 at 8:23 pm
“Lifts” my ass — more like “high heels for men.”
After he dons his “high-heels-for-men,” he always swipes on some super-thickening mascara-for-men, adjusts his pale pink body-by-victoria-for-men bra, then lovingly coifs his curly, auburn Jessica-Simpson-hairpieces-for-men into a stunning updo.
He then makes Katie watch as he masturbates in front of a mirror (while singing “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story).
ellaminnowpea | May 8, 2006 at 8:27 pm
hmmmm….boxers? briefs? thong? or boy-cut panties????
suzy | May 8, 2006 at 8:41 pm
he’s always been short… remember him next to nicole kidman?
colormeskanky | May 8, 2006 at 8:42 pm
Knowing Tom, he probably had Katie’s legs surgically shortened.
BigJim | May 8, 2006 at 8:45 pm
Napolean died of syphilis. Maybe if we’re lucky, Tom will too.
ImCurly | May 8, 2006 at 8:59 pm
The dialog is like this … a nice, cool evening in California. Katie is resting, craddling her baby and wanting to stay home for the evening in her PJ’s … She is the picture perfect mom relaxing with her new baby on a rocking chair softly singing, “Twinkle twinkle little star” … But wait … TOM BUSTS IN THE ROOM ….
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PUT THAT THING DOWN AND GET F**KING DRESSED, How dare you disobey me, you will not embarrass me, as we NEED to be seen out together before the media” ….
Katie responds, “But Tom, but Tom- Just this one night (Baby now crying) …. The nanny scurries in the room, scoops up the new baby and quickly leaves …
Tom fires back: “Did you not hear me, get your clothes on, you look like a fat pig- If you don’t move your fat ass this candle stick will be part of your skull” ….
I can’t stand that a$$ hole and I hope for Katie’s sake, he leaves for the next one soon … the next one will probably be a man ! Closet Queen ….
One day, when he’s dead and gone, the “True Hollywood Story” will come out and we’ll all see … he was another ROCK HUDSON.
Pearly | May 8, 2006 at 9:21 pm
He wears platform shoes and has his pants cut to cover em, shorty shorty short short…
CruisingForCock | May 8, 2006 at 9:23 pm
38 This is exactly why Sherry-co’s “directive” is to monitor this site. Cock is the only thing on his brain – he needs fresh ideas.
krisdylee | May 8, 2006 at 9:26 pm
Honestly, this shit NEVER gets boring… unlike Land-man’s ginormous dink.
krisdylee | May 8, 2006 at 9:27 pm
Dink. hahaha that’s a funny word…
Nik | May 8, 2006 at 9:29 pm
Dude. Back in the 60′s guys wore dress boots. Tom could bring them back in style.
If he wasn’t so fixated on proving he wasn’t gay.
sweetcheeks | May 8, 2006 at 9:49 pm
#39 — You know who else died of syphilis? George Washington. It’s the STD of choice for powerful white males world-wide.
missmermaid | May 8, 2006 at 9:58 pm
TCLTC
Tom Cruise Loves The Clodhoppers!
ha! Ladyfoot!
missmermaid | May 8, 2006 at 10:00 pm
He probably uses the placenta for nice, squishy, comfortable insoles. Like two little cut-in-half waterbeds of blood and mucus.
here | May 8, 2006 at 10:00 pm
When that ego goes up in smoke, dude, it’s not going to be pretty. That’s a huge huge ego. When it finally crashes, we’re going to witness the humorous annoyance of another famous rich dude, with all the advantages, in full pansy self-pity mode and w/an associated sense of entitlement for sympathy as big as his former sense of entitlement for fame. The rest of us will continue to consume beer and fuck what we can find.
Color me stoked | May 8, 2006 at 10:56 pm
Jessica Simpson needs a lift.