Tom Cruise might sue over split story

February 21st, 2006 // 78 Comments

According to his lawyer, Tom Cruise is considering suing Life & Style magazine for claiming that he split with Katie Holmes and implying that the two were going to continue faking their relationship for good publicity.

Cruise is set to meet with his lawyer Fields this week to discuss possible action against the publication. Fields says, “This is a disgusting and malicious story. t is unequivocally false and I have already demanded a retraction. I will be sitting down with Tom in the next couple of days to discuss this story, and ultimately it’s his call as to whether we bring a lawsuit. But if it was up to me, I would sue.”

Considering Tom Cruise has a lot of money, enjoys suing people, and is generally insane, I think it’s a safe bet to assume he’ll go ahead with the lawsuit. When your world revolves around worshipping space aliens and bending young impressionable women to your will, suing magazines is really no big deal.



  1. aura

    Isn’t suing a bit extreme? If the story is false & they’d like the world to know it, couldn’t they just *gasp* stay together?!

  2. Is his lawyer going to be an alien? Or maybe Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. “I’m not familiar with your ways and customs…”

  3. Testimony to include Val Kilmer recounting the time when Tom Cruise said, “That’s right Iceman, I am dangerous.”

  4. CheekyChops

    Sticks and stones, blah, blah, blah.
    Tom needs to lighten up.

  5. gossipmonger

    Knowing what a publicity whore he now is, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit to find out he himself leaked the break-up story to the media, just to generate more talk about himself… When’s MI-3 coming out? Isnt it about that time to generate media buzz to promote it?

  6. GothamGuy

    Hey, come on now people. Let’s not forget that this is not Tom speaking but his LAWYER. Do you honestly think he would lie?

    Hold on…I have to take this call…someone is selling me a bridge real cheap.

    I love how his lawyer acts like he has not talked with Tom yet and just called the press to say he’d sue if it were him. Maybe his hourly fee includes “speculating in the media”.

  7. CheekyChops

    Gossipmonger, excellent observation! I think he turkey basted Katie exactly nine months from the premier date of MI-3 so we’ll have to wait and see if the birth coinsides with that.

  8. brewerpatriot

    As if suing is going to convince anyone that it’s not a sham. Didn’t he win a lawsuit against a magazine that said he was gay? Everyone still thinks he’s gay. This lawsuit would be equally pointless. Until Katie is hypnotized or Tom allows himself to be injected with truth serum to find out what happened when Katie went missing (,2933,160192,00.html), no one is going to believe him. Also, he has to stop being gay.

    I’ve never posted before but I took the time to register just to ask where hollyj, laydeebug, manunited and papahotnuts are. Either they’re all the same person or papa finally arranged that rare menage a quatre. Well done, papa, well done.

  9. ESQ

    I think Tom should quit acting; it looks like he can make a nice livelihood on lawsuits.

  10. PapaHotNuts

    If Tom’s lawyer is going to sue over everything that bothers Tom Cruise, I guess the following should prepare for trial:

    1. People over 4 feet tall
    2. The creators of Men in Black for exposing his truth
    3. Keith Urban for fucking Nicole Kidman
    4. Keith Urban for not fucking Tom Cruise
    5. Vaginas (they just scare him)
    6. That thing on Katie’s lip
    7. Viper, Iceman, Jester, Merlin, and Hollywood
    8. Cuba Gooding Jr. for upstaging him
    9. Anti-depressants or Brooke Shields
    10.Vaginas, again

  11. CheekyChops

    Papa makes me laugh yet again. TY!

  12. inspector11

    what a surprise – the lawyer recommends a lawsuit.

    in that vein of objectivity, i recommend that jennifer love hewitt do jumping jacks in my bedroom every day, and furthermore tell me its cool when men cry after sex.

  13. Dtbb

    While I applaud the continual mockery of scientology for its utter absurdity, it is no less moronic than the delusions which practically everyone else has and so how about some consistency for other idiotic religions i.e. all of them? Worshipping long-haired magic space hippies for example–as the writers perhaps do–is no more reasonable or justified, is definitely also indicative of mental disorder, and should be subject to the same derision.

  14. Xanthia

    #13: Fess up – are you Tom or just one of his droids???

  15. mamacita


    After you said that to Tom’s droid, I felt very much like doing a Kelso from That 70′s Show-BURN!!!!

  16. What a creative way to finance the child support payments.

  17. Sangiovese

    Oh, PapaHotNuts, you literally made me almost pee my pants. You now officially have a fan in South America. As Carson would say- “That’s some funny stuff.” And by Carson, I mean Johnny not that lame-ass Carson Daly who, just 10 years ago, was nothing but a midnight to 4 a.m. shift radio DJ in San Jose, CA. But, I digress…

  18. chryssy11

    There was a time when I thought (like most other women) that Tom was HOOOOOOOOOOTTTT. But now that he is in the media so much with his “possesive” ways, he is portraying that he really is a loser. Poor Katie…(not that she is anything great herself), but come on now… he wants her to be a stay at home mom…(nothing wrong with that…I am one) No wonder he wants to sue….to supplement her income!

  19. Havet

    What an annoying man this TC is! Maybe he is over sensitive or something. But geez, enough with all his public crap! Sit at home, stay with your fiancee and chill.
    Enough making a bid deal out of nothing, you are not a 2 year old! Grow up!

  20. Havet

    *big deal. sorry

  21. LickyLicky

    #2… Phil Hartman rocked!

    Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer was one of the best skit sets SNL ever did. The suit, with the brow ridge and all the hair was priceless.

    I don’t even know what else to say about Tommy. Weird, so weird. I guess this just proves that while money can’t buy happiness, it sure can rent crazy for a long time.

  22. derekd

    Whatever. You all talk shit. If someone said something about you that was complete bullshit you’d be pissed too. The guy’s a little kooky for believing in that Scientology crap. But 2 thousand years ago if you woulda ran around preaching about Jesus Christ people would be looking at you like you were a weirdo as well.

  23. LaydeeBug

    You know he’s gonna win.

    It’s not like the magazine said he’s gay or anything (which he IS). God, what a prick.

  24. Sangiovese

    Hmmmm… Jesus Christ vs. believing you are made up of thousands of aliens fighting for control of your body…. Yeah, I can see the similarities. Good call, derekd.

  25. LaydeeBug

    Derek, please step into the 21st century.

    And since I’m not a celebrity, if Maria from next door told the neighborhood that I was a giving Jose from the next block a weekly blowjob and it wasn’t true, I’d go over and punch her in the eye, and call it a day. I wouldn’t sue her.

  26. mamacita


    I think you should punch her in the eye, say “WHAT?!!! Biyatch!!!!”, then call it a day.

  27. pelvis

    Tom’s lawyer wants to convince everyone that the Life & Style story’s not true, AND he wants to scare L&S into not doing a follow-up, so he’s threatening to sue. But he will absolutely NOT sue. Why? The story’s completely true. And I’m sure L&S will have their sham romance on their cover again this week.

  28. brewerpatriot

    Can we please just make fun of Tom Cruise without going off on tangents regarding theology? Christianity and the other mainstream religions maybe more mythology than truth, but they have more basis than some alien invasion crap created by a psycho hack sci-fi writer; a “religion” with secrect texts that requires thousands and thousands of dollars to move up levels.

    So Laydee, how was papa and the other girls – or were you just off for the holiday?

  29. ESQ

    Oh Tom Just convert them all to Scientologists because that is what will really make you happy in the end.

  30. LickyLicky

    We were all good. Thanks for asking, Patriot. Just don’t ask for details because what happens in Vegas… well, you know the drill.

    Hee hee.

    BTW, Laydee, I made molten lava cakes last night. They were good. I’m sure we could find a use for the leftover chocolate sauce.

  31. Thanks for the good laugh, PapaHotNuts! I sure did need that.

  32. He is BS-ing. If he was going to sue, he would have already filed. When they say they are CONSIDERING suing they are just trying to sound like the story isn’t true and are considering their options….remember Mary-Kate Olsen was “Considering Suing” because the tabloids said she was annorexic, Courtney Love was “Considering Suing” because another tabloid said she was back on drugs, etc… both those stories proved to be true. By somebody as Sue-happy as Tom Cruise, NOT suing but merely considering Suing I would say that that is confirmation that the story is True. Now Tom, get back in the closet and hire another B-List starlet to pretend to love you.

  33. PapaHotNuts

    Jose from the next block is getting a weekly blowjob? Mexicans get all the breaks.

  34. fblau

    re: Jose

    But how will Hose B feel?

  35. CheekyChops

    #22, If I had as much $$ has TC, I’d laugh if people said me and the person I turkey basted split up. However, I wouldn’t just laugh, I’d laugh while I rolled around in money I kept two feet deep in a room just for that purpose. Thanks for asking!

  36. fearsarewishes

    Oh, yeah. Aliens fighting over one’s body versus the immaculate conception. I am certain that one is more reasonable than the other, but which one is it?

  37. LaydeeBug

    Hey Brewer, Long time.

    Mmmmm, Lava cakes.

  38. LaydeeBug

    Jose is Puerto Rican and Hose B, well I wear a size L Hose my self.

  39. LoneWolf

    If I may paraphrase “Top Gun”: The list of people who Tom Cruise is considering suing is long and distinguished. And so’s my Johnson.

    Thank you.

  40. guynoir

    Why do people always say things like “poor katie blah blah” when Tom Cruise craziness is mentioned?

    We’re talking about a girl whose biggest acting achievements were playing a depressing teenager in Dawson’s Creek and ruining Batman Begins. Does the comment, “Batman Begins was great but for Katie Holmes…” sound familiar?

  41. LaydeeBug

    Katie Holmes is a cactus. Remember her in “The Gift” where whe shows her boobs?

    Tall, dull and vacant, just like Tom likes ‘em.


    Maybe if he hadn’t “tucked” her away people wouldn’t be speculating about their relationship. Also note Katie is never mentioned as being for or against the sueing. Its TOM’s lawyer and TOM making the decision whether to sue or not. Maybe if the were seen in public together more often and he didn’t talk about her like she’s some mindless blob incapable of making a decision maybe people wouldn’t talk. I think it’s all a publicity stunt cuz famous or not I can’t see people who are in love and getting married REALLY honestly acting the way Katie and him do.

  43. guynoir

    Blah blah more poor little Katie Krap #42. Stupid neo-fems. Katie is making her own bed. Maybe being the little wife and letting big daddy Cruise call the shots is her decision?

  44. outrageous.opinion

    The magazine says its source is reliable. Of course if exposed, the scientology forces would have them assassinated.(the source) Can you imagine what kind of hush money Tom pays out to relatives and friends? Holy cow, it must be a fortune. BUT, its impossible to keep every single person completely quiet. He is not that powerful. Also, the story makes sense. Come on, the couch jumping, etc. Its all a stunt. Its has to be. Its too strange………..


    I agree it may be her decision #43 but being a woman who has experienced an abusive and controlling husband sometimes your spirit is crushed to the point that you dont believe you have a voice or decision. Plus she’s still young. I agree it might be her decision but where is she in all these stories to say so?? I think if she really felt anything other than that weird creature growing in her that she’d come forward and say so and I think most anyone would agree with that.

  46. my_glorious_lawn

    Let’s face it Katie Holmes is the one with the penis.

  47. amma

    …Why is it that whenever celebrities want to sue over break-up stories, they end up breaking up? I remember Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford took out a full page ad in the NY Times and suing…and guess what?
    I think we can consider this couple DOA.
    Yeah, Katie sucks as an actress, but seriously, this guy is whacked beyond belief.

  48. He just needs more money so he can “rank up another level” in his ridiculous religion. They actually make you pay them money to “rank up a level” It’s like a bad video game lol

  49. N2

    Strange, strange, strange and stranger. Maybe it’s the smog factor in Cali. Tom has a right to blow anybody he wants and the wifey can watch. (lol) Is he suing because it’s true or because it’s not…that would be the question. Oh btw, is the baby rreeaallyy his?

  50. maiira

    Question: Does Katie Holmes actually talk anymore?

    Tom: All your vocal cords are belong to me.

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