Tom Cruise less desirable than Saddam Hussein

March 10th, 2006 // 34 Comments

tom-cruise-poll.jpgIn a recent poll in Stuff magazine, readers said they’d rather spend the night with Saddam Hussein than with Tom Cruise. They asked their readers who they’d least like to share a camping tent with and Tom Cruise won with 41%. Saddam Hussein came in second with 39%, Pat O

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  1. ChrisM70

    As much as I do NOT desire Tom Cruise, something tells me you have those numbers backward. Kathy Griffin and Pat O’Brien are DEFINITELY worse people to share a tent with.

  2. Tom Cruise is a douchebag, but a bigger douchebag than Saddam Hussein? I don’t buy that.

  3. Binky

    I agree with #1. I find Pat O. pretty scary. Kathy Griffin probably would at least bring a Magic 8 Ball or something to try for a few laughs.

  4. ms.vreeland

    logical poll; tom cruise is such a bore…old and twitty

  5. hafaball

    I’d probably just end up stabbing myself to death with a swiss army knife because he’d never shut up about Scientology. At least I could hold an interesting conversation with Saddam…like uhh…”So, sucks about your country getting invaded eh? hehe…”

  6. Jayne

    Atleast you can strike up a decent conversation with Saddam without him calling you “glib” and “uninformed.”

    Saddam would probably tell funnier stories too.

  7. frangly

    Anally raped by Tom Cruise? Pffft, please. Tom is DEFINITELY a bottom.

  8. tieveasilona

    Tom is so not cute. his dick nose says it all.

  9. Tha-Flash

    He seems like a nice guy but he’s into all that Scientology bullshit.

  10. MortyFishbein

    I agree with 7. He’s a power bottom. But afterward he would want you to spoon with him. And he’d probably go on and on about how he doesn’t really do this kind of thing and that he’s really into women generally but every now and then . . . Then he inevitably have to answer that phone call from Katie about how the fishing trip is going.

  11. I partially agree with #10, except instead of “Afterward he would want you to spoon with him” should be changed to “After you were done, he would want 16 of your friends to get in line two at a time and jackhammer him like the little powerbottom whore that he is.” Then he’d get up towel off, grab Katie Holmes and make out with her for the cameras.

  12. pickletickle

    How could Kathy Griffin be last? I can’t think of anything more annoying than her Pee Wee Herman voice coming out of her horse head.

  13. pickletickle

    Dick nose, exactly.

  14. CheekyChops

    Less chance of Saddam trying to act out one of those Brokeback Mountain scenes.. man or woman.

  15. boredatwurk

    I’m with number five.

    I am not sure which is worse:

    Death by dictator, or death by religious salesman.

  16. Evangelia

    saddam’s hot. and defintely not a bottom.

  17. jida

    he’d look great in a more cowbell t-shirt

  18. Dee

    i never got his so called hearthrob status…he’s a troll w little rat eyes and rabbit teeth…nasty

  19. mamacita

    Both my husband and my sister always make a huge deal out of their belief that he can’t possibly be normal because he has 3 front teeth. I’m inclined to believe it.

  20. B-Bomb

    saddam is probably great in the sack, considering his years of experience and vast number of concubines.

    actually, i made that last part up. i don’t know if saddam has concubines. but if i were a middle eastern dictator, i definitely would have at least 100.

    so yeah, saddam. i bet he has a wicked sense of humor, too.

  21. B-Bomb

    saddam is probably great in the sack, considering his years of experience and vast number of concubines.

    actually, i made that last part up. i don’t know if saddam has concubines. but if i were a middle eastern dictator, i definitely would have at least 100.

    so yeah, saddam. i bet he has a wicked sense of humor, too.

  22. HollyJ

    I wonder if Scientology requires Tom to get asshammered in the dark in silence.

  23. jida

    Both my grandma and my step-brother always make a huge deal out of their belief that poster #19 can’t possibly be normal because it has mush for brains. I’m inclined to believe it.

  24. mamacita

    #23

    You know, I tried to be nice to you, but apparently that isn’t what you’re looking for. I’m inclined to believe that you’re a piece of shit who’s annoyingly predictable, not to mention being damn unpleasant. You’re a jerk-off. Now make yourself scarce, you waste of space.

  25. Michael Jackson

    You people are just awfull , please leave Tom alone he is one of the nicest guys I know, you are just all jealous of us macho mega stars!!!

  26. lysistrata11

    #23-Why do I get the feeling you have 3 front teeth? Eh? Maybe a little bit?

    Why don’t you leave Mamacita alone….

  27. mamacita

    lysistrata11

    I’m thinking more like 3 brain cells, huh? The fucker.

  28. #19 Lol, I couldn’t put up with tom he’ll probably look at the sky talking about aliens all night..

  29. lovebombing

    i can’t believe more people aren’t discussing about this. it’s tom cruise!

    no, i wonder if they asked if they would prefer saddam’s company after he had been spending an unspecified amount of time in that little hole.

    well, i guess the same amount of people still would have chosen “not tom cruise”

  30. gogoboots

    The fear of Tom Cruise either jumping up and down on you and tearing your limbs off with his teeth has been now been proven…we can all rest now…

  31. senin

    I say we put Tom and Saddam in the tent together and set the bloody thing on fire…

  32. lik

    tom is bugs bunny and saddam is that bearded cartoon with the pistols

  33. aimatcha

    That man is procreating. I’m afraid. Very…very…afraid.

  34. Julie_Smashing_baby

    I just hate this Stupid,Psycho,Gay,Moron-Generator…He’s SOOOO f*** CRAZY!!

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