Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes make nice for Xenu

November 2nd, 2009 // 84 Comments

With Scientology getting its nuts kicked in by Nightline and Paul Haggis, it’s imperative that Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes look like she isn’t locked in the basement with a can of beans and an E-Meter every night. That said, it’d probably help their cause if Katie didn’t look directly at the hired photographer in every shot, and Tom actually kissed her on the lips like a man who’s not afraid of cooties. It’s not like he can’t hide behind a toadstool and vomit up Thetans after the shoot, so let’s see some professionalism, people.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Her tits were amazing in The Gift. Looks have gone downhill ever since.

  2. TCLTC. He looks like he misses it, anyway. Doesn’t want icky girl stuff on him.

  3. F2

    I love how she slings her arm over his shoulders. What a great way to walk with your children and/or midget best friend.

  4. Pericles

    sucks !

  5. Kim

    She looks like she has down syndrome… didn’t she used to be attractive?

  6. HM

    Is it just me, or is Tom wearing platform shoes? Or maybe those are rocket boots so he can blast off when the mother ship comes.

  7. ben

    Why does everyone have it out for Scientology so bad?

    It’s no worse than any other religion. Yes, it seems crazy, but so does drinking the blood and eating the flesh of the murdered and ressurected child of God.

    At least the leaders of Scientology aren’t running around either sodomizing little boys, or trying to cover up for those that do.

    All religions are nuts………………………

  8. Isabel

    I think her original pre-Cruise nose has grown back.

  9. ben? really?

    Uh people hate Scientology because it is worse than a religion, it is a cult that has somehow made religion status. You do know it was made by a science fiction writer and is less than a hundred years old right? All religions are batshit crazy but they have had lots and lots of time to get that way. Scientology is a cult which is scarier than a religion they have more koolaid.

  10. Dan

    All religeons ARE nuts I agree. If you believe an imaginary figure that lives in the clouds you’re fucking crazy no matter what

  11. lin

    Wow. That’s the definition of awkward right there.

    HM – LOL yeah poor him, so insecure with his shoe lifts. He should switch to midgets.

    ben – at least other religions don’t force you to fork over a huge chunk of your salary.

  12. cheez

    Is it me or is she holding her vajay in the first pic? Protect it from does she should not, tom no want

  13. cheez

    UGH my computer is lagging. Is it me or is she holding her vajay in the first pic? She doesn’t have to protect it from Tom as he no want. GOD i hate welfare internet connections

  14. ben

    Other religions arent cults? They are all cults. Just because a cult is old, doesnt mean it’s not a cult. If I use the word cult a few more times cult is going to lose it’s meaning…..

    A lot of religions demand a percentage of your income be donated to the church.

    Try attending a Catholic Church for a while without making a “donation”. I can bet someone will be coming to talk you.

  15. Alex

    So damn, what happened to Katie? She’s looking awful tired.

    Granted, she’s not a kid anymore but…damn.

  16. Religion is based on each person’s personal beliefs. As long as you don’t bother other people with it, you can believe whatever you want. Nobody knows who has the right one anyway. For all we know, everyone is right and we should find something else to argue and start wars over.

  17. BenIsADumbass

    Ben you ignorant slut…if you aren’t a paid shill for scientology then your ignorance far outweighs the weight of make-believe aliens in a volcano.

    Scientology hasn’t diddled little kids? Maybe not, but how about outright murder? How about defamation of character? Before you type another stupid word get yourself to for an education.

    Unless you are a paid clam shill, of course.

  18. Kevin

    I agree for the most part, religion as a whole has killed more people than anything in history. I think that it’s not just that Scientology is a cult (it is) it’s that they will not tell you what they’re core believes are unless you join and either pay them or sign a contract to do labor/work or them.

    Any other religion you can just walk into the church (or whatever) and for free they will tell you exactly what they believe, it may seem odd to you and me but at least they are open about what they believe.

    In Scientology they have it all worked out, if you knew the answers of their beliefs before reaching a certain level (OT Level) it could “harm you”. They have their scam down pretty good.

  19. ben

    #17, you must be a Christian – LMAO

    Glad the Catholic church has never been responsible for any deaths. No murders on the Christians hands……

    And I am sure that website presents a fair and balanced investigation.

    Thank you for proving my point.

  20. BrandiLye

    It looks like their own version of Freaky Friday, especially in pic 8. “Dream on if you think you’re gonna get this body back, Kate.”

  21. ZoomBoy

    She looks horrible, what is she wearing guys jeans they look like shit. He looks like he’s putting on weight too, hopefully it’s for some movie role or something lmao..

  22. Ew

    Religion doesn’t kill people; people kill people.

    She will never be forgotten for that lame Dawson’s Creek. Weak.

  23. Ew, Part II

    And if you say that people kill people in the name of religion, then you are ignorant. Look at Communism. How many people did that kill, and how desperately did it try to destroy religion? Silly people, it’s not religion, it’s just us. WE are the problem.

  24. cole charlton

    If you must compare Scientology to other religions, you don’t really understand other religions. Scientology is a cult of fantastic proportions. You can’t criticize it without getting sued, members are taught to block out friends/family if they are critical of their “beliefs”. BTW. What are Scientology’s beliefs?
    Hmmm….Interesting huh? Can you answer that without comparing it to other religions?

    If you ever come across a Scientologist, ask them to say the word “Xenu” (zee-nu)….just for laughs. (btw, they believe one can die by saying that word)

  25. Ughpeople

    The Superficial is a great place to have a religious debate. Scientology is only crazier then other religions because it’s based on books written by a drug addict secluded on a boat for extended periods of time. Oh and can we stop the stupid maybe we are all right comment it’s just moronic.

  26. Anonymous


    You’re a fucking moron.

    That about sums it up.

  27. ben

    Xenu will curse you all for this!

    As soon as he gets out of his volcano, he’s coming after you!

  28. Hank Rearden

    No, “religion” has not killed more people than any other force in history. Unless by “religion,” you mean communism. The communists in Russia, China, and elsewhere killed far more people than any other force in history. The wars of relgion pale in comparison. Get your history straight, then maybe you won’t think Mao hats and Che Guevara t-shirts are cool.

  29. ben is right

    #26, not even enough balls to put a fake name down, had to go with “anonymous” – I love internet tough guys. Douchebag

  30. High Lord Xenu

    I am Xenu the destroyer. If you wish to follow me you must take all of your material posessions and put them in the back of my Mercedes Benz.

  31. Max Planck

    He’s a lot shorter than she is when he isn’t wearing high heels.

  32. Jesus Juice

    Be careful what you say here or he will jump on your couch.

  33. Remember when she used to be hot? Me neither.

  34. sunshine

    Katie is extremely religious, she’s wearing her “holy” jeans. hahaha

  35. Danklin

    Not that i mind, but why are Katie’s hands down her pants in every pic? Sexy

  36. turd the third

    My god is Holmes ever HOMELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does scientology hand out free paper bags? If so she needs a double.

  37. Anon

    For all those pic we’ve seen of them working out and running throughout the summer, why are they both a little pudgy?

    I guess running for 5 minutes–just long enough for a photo op–isn’t the same as actually working out.

  38. Faceless

    I think I am going to join Scientology because apparently you stay very young looking. How old is Tom? Oh and for everybody and all this religion stuff, listen to Richard Dawkins. We came from nothing. Just look look at nature, it’s such logical thinking. I mean even the most primitive people looked around and said, “Yep, we came from nothing. Problem solved!”

  39. Vu

    her neck looks like it’s getting longer…

  40. Anonymous

    ben is right #29,

    You’re also a fucking moron. How do you live with yourself?

  41. DC_Diva

    Katie is SLIPPIN’. As my buddies Lil’ Wayne and Babyface once said, “Don’t you…ever…get too…comfortable.” She better get on point for Tom’s eyes get to wanderin’. How can one be so rich and look so damn poor, at all times. SMH.

  42. Carl Sagan

    Hey 29: Search “anonymous” on youtube and you will see the group that has organized to bug the crap out of Scientology. Get up to speed man, do we have to explain everything to you? BTW, someone is just as wacked if they believe they “evolved” out of the goo. Darwin would crap a brick today if he found out his “theory” of transitional fossil records backing up his fairy tale still had not been found. But hey, he gave it a shot…His theory is a big FAIL!

  43. dvd

    I believe that Holmes’ parents don’t like Tom…but I don’t buy that Katie wants Suri to have a ‘normal childhood’, because Katie is the one who is not providing any structure for Suri in the first place. That’s what happens when you sign onto a cult that believes that children shouldn’t be disciplined because they are just adults in childrens’ bodies.

  44. Ali

    Why are her hands down her pants…

  45. She is looking more and more like a teenaged boy.

  46. Blech

    Katie seriously needs to drop this douche. Her youth is just wastin’ away.

  47. fonzeyfu

    Wow, make-up does work wonders.

  48. zuzuspetals

    Would it kill her to put on some mascara? Christ.

  49. Flower

    Her hand is not in her pants. Her hand is in her pocket. Enlarge the thumbnails; see the button on the sleeve? That what you are seeing above her beltline is her belly showing over that awful turned-down waistband of her jeans.

  50. iheartblank

    She looks f*cked up on pills. And he looks completely sober. He knows it’s staged -she’s f*cked up. These are some f*cked up shots. Speaking of f*cked up shots, what the heck am I doing?… Oh yeah… Shots…Whoo-hoo!

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