Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes in trouble?

January 5th, 2006 // 62 Comments

Tom_Katie_thumb1.jpgRumors are circulating that wedding plans for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have been put on hold after reportedly tense holidays spent at Holmes

superficial

  1. Do you think that their child will be Born on the Fourth of July?

    :\

    No, but seriously….do you think Katie makes Tom dance around in tighty wightys before they engage in the Risky Business that leads to A Few Good Men shooting from his Top Gun into her delicate stinky smelly Magnolia?

  2. chibanii

    He looks like a gerbil.

    Poor man, looked so adorable in “Risky Buisness”

    oh, gravity.. why do you take some of the most gorgeous men on this lesbian ridden planet and turn them into 60 Minutes-er look alikes? A la Brad Pitt, Michael J. Fox, & err.. Robert Redford.

    Hell hath no fury like an Earth raped.

  3. HollyJ

    @46 jka-lol True. I expect his labial exposure has been minimal. (I think Mimi tried to wrap him in her swaddling folds a few times, but I guess he wasn’t that interested.)

    Let’s face it…vulva stretched over a baby head with fluids squirting out is NOT at its most appealing. If he wasn’t totally gay before, he would be after watching that shit.

    Gay and scarred.

    PS There are OBs who agree to deliver babies in the dark? WTF? Don’t they need to SEE to deliver a baby? Or do they just put a mat under her and let it fall out?

  4. jka

    It probably won’t be an OB delivering the baby. More likely, Tom’s sister will do it -hell, she convinced Tom she’s qualified to be a publicist, so it shouldn’t take much more than an on-line degree in midwifery to get her the job. And it will be dark in the delivery room so that they can abduct the baby before Katie realizes what’s going on.
    By the way, HollyJ, your post on Kevin Federdouche was priceless.

  5. insidetheplot

    “OH MY GOD HE JUMPED ON A COUCH!!!! OH MY GOD WHAT A FREAK!!!” jesus you losers are jealous. yes, each and every one of you are jealous that tom cruise has actually done something with his life. who cares if he’s a scientologist? there are many worse religions out there that preach hate against minorities and women. if scientology helps tom then what is the harm? to each their own, right? katie is not being harmed by it. she’s a grown woman who is capable of making her own decisions. the fact of the matter is that tom and katie are in love and they are going to have a child. commenting on how much you hate tom, scientology, or whatever else just highlights how unsatisfied you are with your pathetic sad existence. now, go back to downloading porn and jerking off while you dream of a life less ordinary. think about it: tom and katie are living life. what are you doing?

  6. Binky

    Thanks Tom. I need that. Ahhh… which plot are u inside ?

  7. JennyD

    The Superficial is a place to come and hang with like-minded individuals who see the follies of celebrity lives and love to have fun being witty and mocking their superficiality.

    Then there are people who come to a place like this and rant like an idiot about people who mock celebrities with such original lines as “you’re just jealous” and “get a life”.

    Heed your own words, my little plot insider. Someone who trolls the internet just to bash people who are bashing others needs more of a life than any of us. At least we have mindless fun mocking FAMOUS people. You are getting all worked up and angry over us regular joes.

    You’re so glib, insidetheplot.

  8. Binky

    Oh – and ‘Major’ plot … If life is getting you down – don’t forget you still have your protein pill. Take it – and put on your helmet. Cause we’re just foolin’ around

  9. HelenSparkles

    I am just so relieved if this is true. We could all get swept of our feet and love is a kind of madness. Stories are rife of older women than Katie being drawn into something far more sinister than Tom even, yes even than Tom!!!

    The whole Tom going bonkers thing just shows how mad this world of celebrity is and how some of those famous folk would be on the couch if they weren’t on the silver screen. Shielded from all of life’s little quirks, minded and handled I would fear for his sanity if I cared about him at all.

    I do just think Nicole sounded really genuine about her heartbreak and healing in VF anyway and that maybe the Cruise really turned out to be someone she thought he wasn’t.

    Am totally in agreement with the comment about the way Tom has treated the women in his life and wonder why people think we will like them if they are nice to us but rotten to others. It is seductive though to think we might be the ‘one’ and change a pattern. I really hope that Katie participated in this decision though, in other affairs of the heart tom has been a cold hearted whatsit. X

  10. Fab44Me

    What’s the deal with cutting on Cruise for his Scientology and assuming Katie’s somehow NOT nuts for being some other religion? Anyone who relies on unproven theistic crap instead of proven, testable scientific facts is as full of shit as the next one.

  11. Fab44Me

    What’s the deal with cutting on Cruise for his Scientology and assuming Katie’s somehow NOT nuts for being some other religion? Anyone who relies on unproven theistic crap instead of proven, testable scientific facts is as full of shit as the next one.

  12. is it wrong for me to say that i actually don’t mind this couple? http://hollywoodsnark.com

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