Rumors are circulating that wedding plans for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have been put on hold after reportedly tense holidays spent at Holmes
Katie you can remove the pillow from your stomach now.
Maybe Katie’s family was able to talk some sense in to that girl…..or maybe they showed her the actual check stubs that Cruise has been paying for Katie’s um, services. Or better yet, maybe Tom hit on Katie’s brother.
The problem is that Tom Cruise is a Scientologist, and Katie’s parents are Kabbalah.
My insiders tell me Tom couldn’t stop jumping on the family couch. They finally got fed up, called the ‘boys in the white suits’ and changed the cushions.
Things were smoothed over somewhat when Katy’s family said she could get a cat.
This is just one step of Scientology in which the galactic ruler Xenu enters Tom Cruise’s body through his vagina and begins to insult Katie Holmes’s family. Once this is complete and Katie Holmes has no will to go on living, she gives up the alien baby for adoption to L. Ron Hubbard’s grandson and a new breed of Hubbard/Cruise SuperScientologist baby is created. There is only one way to stop this- someone must kick Tom Cruise in his pussy as hard as possible.
This is very heartening news. Next, we need to hear that KH has miscarried (either spontaneously or with medical help) so the gene pool isn’t diluted any further.
My world is crumbling around me… :(
Their parting gift to each other is a baby! Geez, they should’ve thought that one out a little better.
All I know is my dad would’ve broken Cruise’s knees a long time ago, so I think the Holmes family has shown alot of restraint.
…Yeah, I have to agree, this wasn’t well thought out…I mean to maybe not have the marriage work out AFTER she’s pregnant??? I have questions like, how did he get her pregnant when neither of his previous wives ever were with him? And, is he gay??? Is he gay, is he gay? I know its a popular rumor–but from whence does it come?
And finally, though I never gave a rats arse about Tom before…I absolutely love, love, love him now that he has commenced acting insane in public. How many stars do that? And he wasn’t even wasted…I hope he gets crazier and crazier.
Thanks Tom. Thanks Superficial;)
The relationship really hit the skids when Tom realized it wasn’t Katie, but John Holmes that he fantasized about….
Shoot them both. Now. Please.
That line in the blurb about the ‘friend of the couple’ saying that Katie’s crying is the norm when it comes to Tom and her family is kinda sad. Here’s this young girl, thrown into this relationship, and she’s already so miserable and torn that she can’t even enjoy being pregnant. Granted, she jumped in with both feet, but with the publicity machine turning at full speed, what else could she be expected to do? I don’t see them getting married, and I see him causing more than enough problems for her and the baby. That’s what an A-lister with more money than brains does.
He’s a fucking asshole, in my opinion. I’m sure his idea of ‘mending fences’ was to try and convince her family that he’s not the diabolical dianetic anti-christ. I think this is the first thing that’s been said that makes either one of them seem human… and I mean her, not him. She’s got a miserable life ahead of her whether she marries him or not since she’s inextricably linked to him via fetus.
You guys are hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!
That’s nice, making a pregnant girl stress out and cry all the time. That’s gotta be great for the fetus. Cruise is a self-absorbed tool. You’d think he’d shut the fuck up and make good with the Holmes family, for the sake of his unborn child. I hate him too. He’s an asshole.
LickyLicky, although I agree with you about Cruise being a certifiably insane arsehole, I cannot buy into K.H. being an impressionable young “girl.” She’s what; 27 for chrissakes? (that birthday party at FAO Schwartz ROCKED, didn’t it?)
While I feel terrible for Katie’s family, I have little sympathy for her. She saw how badly he treated first Mimi Rogers (remember her?) then Nicole Kidman, witnessed his attack on Brooke Shields, and expected him to treat HER like the princess she is? Please. If you can’t learn from a man’s past treatment of women, then you deserve what you get.
Powerpuffgrl1969, I agree that 27 isn’t so young that you don’t know any better, but imagine yourself in her place. Here’s a world famous guy with charisma and charm and he’s giving you all the attention in the world, taking you to beautiful places, saying you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Remember, at this point he hadn’t jumped on Oprah’s couch or called medical science a farse. He seemed almost normal. I think any girl would be flattered by it. It wasn’t until later that he showed how cookoo and overpowering he was. The unfortunate thing is she can’t just make a clean break from him because she’s pregnant with his child. THAT’s where I blame her for being stupid. Getting herself pregnant was stupid, falling in love with him wasn’t.
It’s all just a publicity stunt because Tom’s intergalactic spaceship isn’t ready yet…
I always get my way with chicks by using my Xenu alien story as my hook. I’m not a Scientologist so I can only hope Tom doesn’t sue for stealing his stupid pickup lines.
But if you feel lucky Tom. Do you feel lucky?
SAMMYGIRL — falling in love with him was definitely stupid…he’s got about as much “charisma and charm” as my computer monitor, except I like looking at my computer monitor, and the sight of him makes me ill…plus, he’s about as tall as my monitor, and that’s just not right
All right papa Holmes!!!!
I love that this whole time her family has been completely against this…there were articles published where Mr. Holmes pretty clearly said he disapproved
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