Tom Cruise’s career is way more f-cked than anyone ever realized

Tom Cruise probably spent last night crying in the strong, tender arms of David Beckham. Somehow, the former most powerful midget in Hollywood was roped into appearing on The Hills After Show and asked to give relationship advice to Spencer Pratt who recently eloped despite Heidi Montag’s dream of a big wedding:

“If the girl wants the wedding, you gotta do the wedding. It’s a special occasion, and she’ll remember it forever. Spencer, dude, you’ll realize this later.”

Spencer, of course, gave a response to Us Magazine who at this stage technically owns the custodial rights to his unborn children:

“You all know how I feel about big weddings, but if Tom Cruise says so, it must be true. If Tom’s the best man, we’ll have a big wedding!”

While I actually feel sorry for Tom Cruise, there’s a light at the end of this tunnel. And that light is Heidi and Spencer converting to Scientology just like Leah Remini. Who? Exactly.

Photos:, Video: E! Online