Tom Cruise probably spent last night crying in the strong, tender arms of David Beckham. Somehow, the former most powerful midget in Hollywood was roped into appearing on The Hills After Show and asked to give relationship advice to Spencer Pratt who recently eloped despite Heidi Montag’s dream of a big wedding:
“If the girl wants the wedding, you gotta do the wedding. It’s a special occasion, and she’ll remember it forever. Spencer, dude, you’ll realize this later.”
Spencer, of course, gave a response to Us Magazine who at this stage technically owns the custodial rights to his unborn children:
“You all know how I feel about big weddings, but if Tom Cruise says so, it must be true. If Tom’s the best man, we’ll have a big wedding!”
While I actually feel sorry for Tom Cruise, there’s a light at the end of this tunnel. And that light is Heidi and Spencer converting to Scientology just like Leah Remini. Who? Exactly.
Wow. That’s sad.
You’re mistaken,Fish.”The Littlest Wehrmacht Officer” is gonna bring little Tommy roaring right back!
WB is FIrrrrsssssst ha!
@1, by sad, I hope you mean pathetic.
SATAN! You did this!! We had an agreement!! Pratt and Cruise were to never cross paths! DAMN YOU!
Tom knows all about wanting to be a beautiful bride.
Tom is crazy person who is dangerous to the people.. Boycott his movies.. Some DJ out in Vegas had some really good points about the dangers of scientolgy.. here is a link to his page.. http://www.ksne.com/pages/ryan.html
Tom is crazy person who is dangerous to the people.. Boycott his movies.. Some DJ out in Vegas had some really good points about the dangers of scientolgy.. here is a link to his page.. http://www.ksne.com/pages/ryan.html
Who is Tom Cruise?
Damn, he’s starting to look OLD.
tom cruise is straight gay
TCLTC
Fish, is a fuckin fag…he can’t go one fuckin week without mentioning that assclown Pratt and that stupid cunt of his!
Fuck you Fish!
SPLTC
Fish….amazingly funny, as usual. That’s why I am shocked at your lapse in grammar. I expect anyone with a 3rd grade education to screw up, but you? It’s ‘more f-cked up THAN anyone realized’. You sound just like Britney. Are you just a hick on the DL?
I didn’t know grammar nazis were so easily amused.
Oh God…so we have another Heidi/Spenser wedding to look forward to.
With Tom Cruise as the best man.
And the seven horseman of the apocalypse as the groomsman.
Wonderful. Just. Freaking. Great.
Just FYI – It should read “more f-cked THAN anyone” not “THEN”.
I love the Superficial and read it most every day, but I have always been a lurker rather than a commentor. And will probably continue to do so, unless I notice a really annoying than/then error again.
Leah remini Italian? i love when she acts tough!!!
it’s the loose/lose error that really gets me, then the your/you’re errrrr
Personally, I hate the loose ass error.
Nuttier than a shithouse rat……
.
He’s wearing that fucking Mary Tyler Moore coat again? Now all he needs is a little beret to throw in the air. Homo.
Chocolate Thunder was awesome.
’nuff said.
Cruise is so out of touch with reality, he has no idea where he is most of the time, or the irrelevance of Spencer the douchebag.
Tom’s giving advice to Spencer now???
His movie may not make money, but he doesn’t care. Nazi cosplay is fun.
“Mr. Zinger, ve regret to inform that as a gay and a Jew you have no place in the Reich. Your ass must be vhipped. It must be vhipped most forcefully.”
“Please, no, Mr. Von Stauffenberg! ( whispering ) Yes, yes, yes.”
“Oh yes. Vhipping will occur. RIGHT NOW. And then we send you to America where gay Jews have ze power. And then you vhip me back ja?”
Poor little Tommy Mapother is starting to look old and, dare I say it? Fagged out. I mean that in a totally gay way.
I though Scientology was supposed to cure gayness. In tiny Tom’s case it just seems to make it worse.
He’s still a damn cool actor.
WINDMILL
TCLTC… classic!
Before I starting reading the post I was thinking “Yea, because I am watching him right now on ET Canada”
But then I read further (farther?) (fa-ja?) and yes.. his press-whoring has gone off the deep end!
FUK! She just gave him some Roots-wear. Worst-swag-ever!
You gotta hand it to Tom, he gets a lot of cock for a white guy. Almost as much as black boys in the locker rooms and showers after games and practice.
And, no, that does not mean Spencer has a cock; Spencer has a vagina with a large clit.
I just don’t understand why everyone is giving him a hard time? Tom was a great actor and in a lot of films, and now people look down on him just because he is into some weird religion. Move on people! It’s just as weird as some invisible guy in the sky who grants miracles and made the world.
#17 Think of it as a golden opportunity! Tom Cruise, Heidi and Spencer all in one location – add a well-placed brick of Semtex and a reliable detonator and the world will be back on its axis.
Anyone posting after Me sucks on Tom Cruise’s impotent genitalia
Hope so for this professional CHEATER & LOSER, folks!!
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You kidding right? Have you ever heard of typo? LOL.
Tom’s Career fucked? No way..
His next Big Midget Porn movie will be the Bomb!
Starring Tom cruise as.Lieutenant Pete ‘Maverick’ Midget
Tower, this is Midget Rider requesting a flyby.
That’s a negative Midget rider, the Bucket is full.
……. “the former most powerful midget”
Hurm … Tom and I are the same height.
haters
:-P
HAIR TRANSPLANT
funny
Tom Cruise pvt life should remain pvt. A media that is hungry for news should report on something important such as its own demise. If Tom is impotent he joins millions of men who share the same fate. How about an article on impotency as related to these men. Katie Holmes was purchased by Tom and he continues to pay her off. But celeb marriages work to further careers not the people it consumes. Leave the couple alone.
Paramount has revealed the release date for the next 4 Mission Impossible, Ethan Hunt has announced that (Tom Cruise) and his team will blow back on the big screen, December 16, 2011.