In the shocker of all shockers, Tom Cruise isn’t the linguistic expert he claims to be. Despite telling everybody Suri means “princess” in Hebrew, Hebrew linguists have confirmed that it doesn’t.
Suri has only two meanings – one is a person from Syria and the other “go away” when addressed to a female. Hebrew expert Jonathan Went says, “I think it’s fair to say they have made a mistake here. There are variations of the way the Hebrew name for princess is spelt but I have never seen it this way.” Suri can also be translated into a Hindi boy’s name, and it also means “pointy nose” in some Indian dialects and “pickpocket” in Japanese.
The crazy bastard named his daughter “pointy nosed pickpocket.” I take back whatever I said about Tom Cruise, because only a genius of maniacal proportions could come up with that. I just wonder how he’s gonna top it. He’s gonna have to name his next kid “degenerate puppy killer” or something.
Chrystal03 | April 20, 2006 at 3:24 pm
TCLTC
EvilFiend | April 20, 2006 at 3:24 pm
2ND!
Chrystal03 | April 20, 2006 at 3:27 pm
I fuckin love it when I fucking get 1st fucking post. FUCK!
brewdick | April 20, 2006 at 3:27 pm
all that cock has gone to his head
http://www.cafepress.com/cp/store.aspx?s=suburbangypsy.1375539
cat | April 20, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Tom Cruise… is awesome.
I love it.
That’s all.
Steph | April 20, 2006 at 3:33 pm
On the bright side it SOUNDS pretty
Fisher55 | April 20, 2006 at 3:35 pm
“Apple” would have been a way more appropriate name, given the father
Meghann | April 20, 2006 at 3:35 pm
Pretty sure I called that from the first second. Leave the Jews alone, we think you’re insane.
natoman | April 20, 2006 at 3:36 pm
Ok, so the name means “Go away” when addressing a female? And Tom Cruise named the child. Does this not seem the most obvious name for this child EVER?
51Cent | April 20, 2006 at 3:37 pm
What a tool…
I feel so sorry for his poor kid, she will never be able to visit Isreal or Japan…
Land-Man | April 20, 2006 at 3:39 pm
Great, another terrorist is born. Doesn’t anyone else fucking remember 9/11?
antispace | April 20, 2006 at 3:40 pm
Didn’t he drop out of high school?
What do you expect. *sigh*
Geno | April 20, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Pray for that poor baby. The absolute horror of having Tommy Loony as your Dad is hard to comprehend.
http://catholictvguy.blogspot.com/
Jacq | April 20, 2006 at 3:45 pm
Sherryco would have named the baby HAIL TOM CRUISE! but the first name blank didn’t have enough spaces on the birth certificate and you can’t use all caps.
I fucking love it. He’s a moron! See?!
In cuntonese Suri means TCLTC.
#10 – That child won’t go many, many places. Like, for instance, outside.
Fuck, LandMan! Quit being an asshole already. I know you’re trying to get everyone all stirred up but you’re a total fucker. I didn’t know anyone there nor have I ever visited New York, but I don’t see any way that could be a joke. Maybe next time, a plane will land on you in the middle of Main Street USA. You know, like how that house landed on your mom in that movie, Wizard of Oz.
xAgonyxScenex | April 20, 2006 at 3:47 pm
That picture makes them look like a mob family
tamtamtam | April 20, 2006 at 3:47 pm
suri is also a kind of alpaca…
Fisher55 | April 20, 2006 at 3:51 pm
tom’s suri he made a mistake
jugsgirl | April 20, 2006 at 3:51 pm
Tom Cruise was wishing for a little boy (tom loves the little boy cock). So when he found out it was a girl he decided to name her “go away”.
booface | April 20, 2006 at 3:52 pm
#16, are you joking or did you not see yesterday’s post where twelve other people posted this same message?
tamtamtam | April 20, 2006 at 3:57 pm
#19, it was a joke about how repetitive the comments on this site are sometimes…
Feed_Me_Chocolate | April 20, 2006 at 3:59 pm
GLORIOUS! That’s what it is.
Skullyzena | April 20, 2006 at 4:01 pm
I am laughing my ass off. What an arrogant idiot. I hope to hell he is embarassed… Couldn’t have happened to a better person…
CheekyChops | April 20, 2006 at 4:02 pm
Idiot celebrities. What’s with the strange names?
If I have triplets, I’ll name them after my best friends; Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels and Rolling Rock.
Land-Man | April 20, 2006 at 4:05 pm
Over your head Jacq? Funny shit about the Wizard of Oz. Made me laugh my big 12″ off.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | April 20, 2006 at 4:06 pm
I think they should name their next baby Land-Man, and then tie the baby to the back of their car and take a long trip on a bumpy dirt road.
gogoboots | April 20, 2006 at 4:09 pm
#18 That’s probably the best guess to his rationale to naming her suri, however, Tom probably was trying to take a crack at sounding smart or “worldly”…or whatever alien crack he smokes nowadays…
FriarTuck | April 20, 2006 at 4:10 pm
it is going to be even funnier when he tries to cover it up by saying in Scientology it means princess..Cause L.Ron said so..
HollyJ | April 20, 2006 at 4:10 pm
the whole thing is just so surieal
bigponie | April 20, 2006 at 4:10 pm
he might as well have named her pinocchio.
tits_on_snack | April 20, 2006 at 4:10 pm
“Over your head Jacq? Funny shit about the Wizard of Oz. Made me laugh my big 12″ off.”
ah. so that’s where it went.
OhHowCynical | April 20, 2006 at 4:12 pm
Hahaha! That’s what happens when you’re a know-it-all, placenta-eating dumbass!
Iambananas | April 20, 2006 at 4:14 pm
I don’t think it counts to have the first post when all you write is “1st”. While someone else who really should have had the first post is typing something funny and interesting, all the dumb people write “1″ and think they’re cool… they’re not.
tits_on_snack | April 20, 2006 at 4:15 pm
Bahhh, he’ll pull some whacked explanation out of his ass, and try to turn the tabes on us like WE’z the foo’s.
tracyp | April 20, 2006 at 4:15 pm
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2006/04/20/entertainment/e092413D51.DTL&type=entertainment
Says he has them scratching their heads at the name Suri.
What a dumbass.
Jim Treacher | April 20, 2006 at 4:15 pm
SURI = Scientology’s Unstoppable Robot Infant
FriarTuck | April 20, 2006 at 4:16 pm
he is an operating thetan level 7..show respect..
tits_on_snack | April 20, 2006 at 4:16 pm
#32 nobody called 1st, lay off the alien crack.
jpricer62 | April 20, 2006 at 4:17 pm
I think someone trusted an internet source a bit too much…
http://www.hebrewbabynames.com/item.cfm?itemid=758
sometimesboy | April 20, 2006 at 4:17 pm
i thought the kids name translated to ‘”my dad loves the cock.”…
i hope he chokes on his placenta smoothie…
FriarTuck | April 20, 2006 at 4:17 pm
#35 i peed a little i laughed so hard at that one..did we ever find out who the real dad is????
tracyp | April 20, 2006 at 4:23 pm
http://jas.familyfun.go.com/babynamer?page=ShowName&name=Suri&origin=Persian&meaning=red+rose&middleName=&lastName=
Here is where he got the “red rose” translation–on familyfun.com
#38 you’re right someone didn’t ask the experts on this one–oh that’s right, TC is the expert on ALL things.
bunnyhugger | April 20, 2006 at 4:23 pm
poor kid. every time somebody calls her, she won’t know if she’s coming or going.
and mr. superfish, we all know Tom Cruise is the master of only one thing.
somebody say it…
Jay from the Bay | April 20, 2006 at 4:25 pm
What a tool. What a fucking tool.
ChicagoBeeotch | April 20, 2006 at 4:26 pm
SARAH = Princess in Hebrew
whatupmegs | April 20, 2006 at 4:26 pm
i think they should have gone with something safer…like, say, Cheerio.
MeganHarris | April 20, 2006 at 4:30 pm
Forget the facts. Tom Cruise will get Websters to change the meaning and spelling of the name to be Suri, so he can be right.
Lala | April 20, 2006 at 4:30 pm
Britney tries to get a tattoo saying “mysterious” in Chinese, and it comes out as “strange”. And now this.
Karma’s a bitch, people, karma’s a bitch.
bunnyhugger | April 20, 2006 at 4:30 pm
can you imagine her first e-meter test (whatever it’s called again)?
then again, he IS dyslexic. maybe it was supposed to be IRUS. you know, like the flower? no?
i agree, jay. what a tool.
Carolina | April 20, 2006 at 4:31 pm
He should have named her OPTIMUS PRIME or RRRRRRRRRRRRR, which is a very sweet name for a little girl.
ok COCK is a good name (I Love it!!)
Proteon | April 20, 2006 at 4:32 pm
#23 don’t you mean your only friends?