Tom Cruise is still insane

March 21st, 2007 // 100 Comments

reports Katie Holmes has been crying over the phone to Victoria Beckham because she says “Tom is denying her every single thing” and the two were once on the phone for over four hours. Not only that, but Tom Cruise reportedly left 18 messages in one hour on Victoria Beckham’s answering machine trying to get her to join Scientology. A source says:

“Victoria is sick and tired of Tom being on her back about Scientology,” says the source. “Victoria is an old-fashioned British woman who believes in God. She finds it quite rude that Tom is bugging her so much. Not too long ago, Tom left 18 messages in one hour to get them to join the church. When she says no, she means no.”

Tom Cruise’s rep responded, saying:

“This is completely false. Tom does not and never has encouraged anyone to adopt Scientology.”

I know reps lie all the time, but at least try to keep it believable. Tom Cruise has never encouraged anyone to adopt Scientology? He might as well have told us Tom Cruise captured a triceratops in his backyard and taught it to fly into outer space.


  1. VeronicaRedux

    She was Faketansalot Spice.

  2. schack

    i bet you’re from the netherlands, low

  3. neo_maxie_zoom_dweebie

    lowlands is a dyke?

  4. GooniesNeverSayDie

    We totally believe Tom Cruise’s rep. Why would he lie?


    Pete Rose, OJ, Bill Clinton, and that reverend who was recently “cured” of his homosexuality

  5. teetee

    #48 I thought she was Pig-Nose Spice?

  6. Lowlands

    #49)No,it’s ‘what really excites him’.I just see it on time.

  7. woodhorse

    He can be as Gay as he wants to, that is no way to treat a mail-order bride dammit. Her parents should hide her and baby until Cruise comes through with the cash. If he wanted low maintenance, he should have stuck with Mimi Rogers. At least he let Nicole go to work and keep her paycheck. What an Thetan possessed, Napolean complexed, misogynist.

  8. Libraesque

    I guess the $cientology tents he puts up at all his movie locations would support what his rep said

  9. woodhorse

    If she becomes a Scientologist, they can hypnotize her into thinking she’s had sex with Tom. No one has had this much of an obstacle to overcome since Lisa Marie and Michael Jackson, or like me and Wally.

  10. V

    “Us Weekly reports Katie Holmes has been crying over the phone to Victoria Beckham because she says “Tom is denying her every single thing…”"

    Well, Katie is an adult. Can’t she stand up for herself? Sickening.

  11. woodhorse



    Victoria Beckham may be completely vapid, but even she knows a phony cult religion when she sees it. Good for her. Bad for Katie.

  13. Libraesque

    she’s crying about Tom Cruise denying her some dick

  14. outrageous.opinion

    Seems strange when they are together, Katie is always holding the baby. Well, not really strange, sense this entire baby, marriage thing is a joke. I just know when hubby was around, it was time to give the back a break. Maybe this baby cries when Tom holds her?

  15. woodhorse

    #58 maybe Tom should go around the country doing “tent revivals” like they did in my Grandpa’s day. How much fried chicken and potato salad do Thetans eat??

  16. Libraesque

    #64, you should watch the video over at accesshollywood, it’s hilarious, he goes to touch her head and she jerks away and hugs Katie.

  17. Truthseeker013

    Esteemed AuthorPerson, you assume that TommyBoy was *ever sane*…

  18. schack

    betcha can’t tell me what sanity means!

  19. woodhorse

    EsQue: I went to that site and the video I showed only had Suri jerking away from Tom. If it’s true what L.Ron said about babies hearing things while in the womb then Suri hates Tom’s guts.

  20. InstantAsshat-AddFame


    And because no one said it at #50, TCLTC

    Hi ponk! :-)

    Girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy, girl marries boy, has baby with boy, boy acts like a total asshat. Girl ruins her figure and is lonely and unhappy. Yep, the true tale of love, played in the public sphere.

  21. iamsosmrt

    Dear outer space aliens,

    Please come pick up ambassador #69 Tom Cruise. He has probed enough asses and is no longer welcome here on earth. This will be best for the intergalactic community as a whole.


    John Travolta

  22. schack

    Dear Lieutenant Travolta,
    i don’t get why we keep conducting anal probes. all we’ve discovered in the past 100 years of probing is that 1/10 doesn’t really seem to mind. alas, a whole lot of us would be out of a job if we shut down the operation. it’s a runaway train.

    In Solidarity,

  23. #66 thanks for the link, that just shows how crazy he is, even she knows it!

  24. Schnuggie

    Does anyone really believe he had anything to do with the conception of that kid??? After all, TCLTC! (It’s been about ten, right?)

  25. TJH

    I give it about one more year until she can’t put up with his control freaking, and she runs to her lawyer daddy and says, “I know you were right about him daddy, please forgive me and let me stay here!”

    After this one, I don’t see how he could do another trade-up…or maybe get another Bonnie Lee Bakley type–hah!

  26. NipsyHustle

    that’s right, katie. give up all those rights just to be taken care of. pay attention gold diggers. there is a price to pay for auctioning off your pussy to the highest bidder. she’ll never get custody of that baby.

  27. kayvan

    ok this sites not even funny go to my shit and read someythin actually interestin an funny

  28. Pegasus

    what a psycho she needs to leave his ass PRONTO before you know it he won’t even let her leave the house without a collar on.

  29. heyheyhey

    Tom Cruise is baaaaaallllliiiin!

  30. iamsosmrt

    Dear Galactatron,

    It is very true that many of us would loose our way of life without anal probing. I for one have built my entire career and livelihood here on earth through the inspection of the male human anus. The 10% who do enjoy the probing have proved to be quite useful but, beyond that our research has not been very fruitful. For so many years I have been so engrossed in my work, I have such a passion and love for it that I have never thought to ask the big WHY?
    Perhaps we are not meant to know.
    I feel that ambassador #69, Tom Cruise, has brought only shame and disgrace to us and I would like to petition to take his place. But, Deep, deep down I know that I do have the natural anal probing skill he possesses so again perhaps it is not meant to be.


    Lieutenant Travolta

  31. iburl

    The PR person’s remarks were TECHNICALLY true, but only because of one reason: Tom Cruise has the ability to create, destroy, and relocate all matter, time, and space, at will, so, you see, if that is Tom’s reality, it is THE reality. You obviously need a Free Personality Profile and a Theatan Rinse.

  32. Hecubus

    He looks like he thinks that basketball is his other kid, like he’s named it ‘Dave’ and sits trying to feed it baby food and reading it bedtime stories every night.

  33. D'arcy

    I don’t know why, but I feel bad for Tom Cruise. I wish I could hit him upside the head so hard that he’d fall into a coma, wake up later with amnesia, and then when he’d ask “Who am I!?” I’d say, “You’re the best movie star in the world and your sole goal in life is to make the best butt-kicking action flicks of all time. Now get back to work!” Then I would set him free, and I would cry like a mother watching her grown-up son go off to create a life for himself.

    Damn you, martians! Why did you pick to brainwash Tom Cruise for your evil plans!?

  34. lamekisser

    “Who am I!?” I’d say, “You’re the best movie star in the world and your sole goal in life is to make the best butt-kicking action flicks of all time. Now get back to work… by the way, you just lost a BOYfriend, go and find another one!”

  35. ReelWorld

    Never pressured anyone to join Scientology? What about Katie?? Bah….This guy is yesterday’s news. Face it – the last good film he made was in 2003 (Last Samurai) and with all the weird stuff he’s done lately, his fame has fizzled out. He should just hop on board that ship to Xenu or wherever and rid us of his face.

    Oh, and TCLTC

  36. Poroleishon

    Oh dear Katie… that?s what you get for marrying such an old guy for you… he probably fears that if he lets her out she will find a better looking – taller man and runaway with him.. haahahahaha

  37. ChronicRachel

    Tom Cruise is nuts..

  38. MissDior17

    #13 – LMAO

    I think Tom Cruise is awesome as well but not as crazy and ALIVE as Pete Doherty.

  39. cynicalheretic

    Tom Cruise is Gay???? Why the hell didn’t anyone ever tell me!! I mean I own every movie he has ever made. What If I have become gay due to over exposure.


  40. squirlgal1

    I suppose this is the price you pay when becoming Tom Cruises “womb for hire”

  41. whitegold

    I bet Victoria Beckham is regretting making the move to America now!!! She must be wondering how the heck she is supposed to get away from the Crazy Cruises. I imagine it’s kind of like a scene from those old Everybody Loves Raymond intros (come on now, don’t pretend like you’ve never watched it), where the Beckhams look out the window and see the crazy Cruises walking across the street visit, so they panic and close the blinds and turn off the stereo and then David realizes the door is unlocked so he dives across the hallway hitting the door like just in time, but as he slumps beneath the door Tom’s freaky hand reaches through the mail slot and touches his head. Yeah, I could see it going down like that.

  42. lambman

    O Pacey Pacey, where for art thou Pacey?

  43. I’m with NamelessHussy, oh, and I think TC needs to drop the religious shit, it’s fucking his career up…big time

  44. hhhmmmm it smells like divorce to me… hahahaha

  45. FACTS_are

    Suri is a spitting image of Christian Bale, Katie’s Co-star in Batman which interestingly enough was filming when Suri was conceived. Was it a bored actor/actress occupying each other in a trailer between scenes, or just an uncanny coincidence?

    Christian’s pic & profile:

  46. Jeremy1Esq

    Posh is the best!!

  47. k naz

    seems to be a trend with tom cruise. he has an issue with being on peoples asses and not knowing when to back off.

    i wonder if he changes katies tampons.

    anyway i know weirdos need love too…but damn i’d never marry tom cruise even in his hot days if i knew about this. even if this isn’t true he’s still fucking weird. and to top it off, he looks like he has a small penis.

  48. Shaesmom

    Has anyone ever seen pics of J. Travolta’s daughter Ella, there is a very strong resemblance to young ms Suri, it’s almost freaky. Makes you think that they might have the same donor??????? and it’s not TC or JT.

  49. sezhoo

    Suri’s cute. I don’t for one minute believe she is Tom’s and Katie’s biological offspring, but she is a cutie.
    And Tom’s insane, and Katie is just NOW finding this out??

  50. WakeUpWorld

    I’m a Scientologist and I’ll tell you that this crazy story about Xenu is total crap. Some people in the press keep saying that this Xenu story is what Scientologists believe. This is such garbage and it’s a story repeated over and over and is intended to keep people from looking into what Scientology actually is. So why would some in the media intentionally try and keep people away from Scientology you ask? Because most media is well paid by the pharmaceutical industry. They see Scientology as a threat to their profits because it is. Scientology has many, many answers that work and are practical. Let’s look at 1 example of how the psychiatric drugging industry is hurt by Scientology technology… Let’s assume you know someone who has been depressed for several months or even years. Did you know that with Scientology you can literally snap him out of his dark days and make him feel happy again, sometimes in less than five minutes. How could this be? Because Scientology helps and works like nothing else before it. There is no need to be on a psychiatric drug everyday for the rest of your life. This is just one of thousands of solutions Scientology has and it would take literally books to tell you all it has to offer and can do. Give a Scientologist just a few minutes of your time and you’ll quickly realize what a sham psychiatry and the psychiatric drugging business is. It’s OK to be skeptical about Scientology, but don’t assume that what you’ve been told about it is actually true. Just ask yourself would all these celebrities be involved in it if didn’t help them and others tremendously?


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