Tom Cruise is still insane

March 21st, 2007 // 100 Comments

reports Katie Holmes has been crying over the phone to Victoria Beckham because she says “Tom is denying her every single thing” and the two were once on the phone for over four hours. Not only that, but Tom Cruise reportedly left 18 messages in one hour on Victoria Beckham’s answering machine trying to get her to join Scientology. A source says:

“Victoria is sick and tired of Tom being on her back about Scientology,” says the source. “Victoria is an old-fashioned British woman who believes in God. She finds it quite rude that Tom is bugging her so much. Not too long ago, Tom left 18 messages in one hour to get them to join the church. When she says no, she means no.”

Tom Cruise’s rep responded, saying:

“This is completely false. Tom does not and never has encouraged anyone to adopt Scientology.”

I know reps lie all the time, but at least try to keep it believable. Tom Cruise has never encouraged anyone to adopt Scientology? He might as well have told us Tom Cruise captured a triceratops in his backyard and taught it to fly into outer space.


  1. danielle


  2. imran karim


  3. veggi

    poor poor Joey Potter.

  4. BarbadoSlim

    A triceratop joke? Did you just watch Jurassic Park?

  5. Jiimbo

    I always have some ideas:) So you really want some chicken?

  6. danielle

    Tom Snooze is officialy the Antichrist.

  7. Jiimbo

    Tom is an asshole. I will not pay a dime to see one of his movies. How long before Kattie dumps him????

  8. biatcho

    The baby looks half Filipino.

  9. YouRang

    The rep might as well have said “Tom’s not gay” or “Tom’s a great actor”

  10. Look you guys… Tom knows much more about weblogs than you do. He has read many books on the subject, and as an OTIII, he has come to embrace the stone cold fact that “There is no weblog, it is just an image implanted in your memory to make you believe they exist”!

    Hail Xenu!

  11. DrDanny

    For all I care, TC, Kate, Posh, Becks, all of ‘em can eat shit and die horribly. Suri is cute and all, but as the spawn of Cruise, probably also should be put down for the good of mankind. I used feel sympathy for Katie, but she buttered her bread, so now she has to sleep in it. Or whatever.

  12. fritobandito

    Nice basketball. Like he’s even tall enough to play. I wonder if katie puts him on her shoulders so he can dunk the ball like the “big boys”?

  13. veggi

    hahahah! Is that Phoebe’s baby?

    and J, you only have 3 minutes to find me. That’s when I go to lunch….. and bring your ideas!

  14. Jiimbo

    I am looking and I have lots of ideas

  15. I’m waiting for the post-divorce tell all book by katie holmes, where she talks about all the ass fucking and the late night naked forest dances and the hooded gang bang that resulted in little suri, until then, I don’t really care.

  16. Jiimbo

    I am with you Namesless

  17. HollyJ

    @16 – I assume by “all the ass fucking and the late night naked forest dances and the hooded gang bang” you mean a gleeful Tom getting hammered in the ass by a troop of African mandrills.

  18. ponk

    it’s nice that they both carry along intellectually compatible companions with them. kinda like His & Hers luggage.

  19. Whammer Jammer

    I can’t wait to hear about all the conversations with the aliens.

  20. DrPhowstus

    Becks is probably sick of TC being on his back all the time too.

  21. AndresV

    “Victoria is an old-fashioned British woman”?? Gimme a break….British, yes, old-fashioned? You mean as in tranny-anorexic-ridiculous-silicone-breasts old fashioned?

  22. Jiimbo

    @18 – I was thinking it was a group of Yeti

  23. HollyJ

    “Intellectually compatible companion” for Tom would be a superstitious gay bottom midget with an 11th grade education. (No offense to those with achondraplasia out there.)

  24. ponk

    For 3 million a year (Katie’s contract with Tom), I’d swallow my own semen as it drains out of Tom’s ass. Honestly, what’s the big deal?

  25. jrzmommy

    why’s that short little motherfucker carrying around a basketball?

  26. Jiimbo

    I would think Katie could make more than 3 million a year on her own. I think I would shot myself if I had to wake up to that ass hole every morning

  27. Jiimbo

    Jrzmommy, He wants everyone to think that is how big his balls are

  28. Donkey

    This seems to be Tom’s method… get a good woman, dog her out, then move on to a younger one.
    Well, I guess if you can pull it off, go for it.

  29. uberfrau666

    for every 10 posts, someone must say….TOM CRUISE LOVES THE COCK!!! TCLTC!!

  30. TheseTrixAintForKids

    To whoever said the baby looks filipino–I COMPLETELY AGREE. My boyfriend is half filipino, I know his whole family, and his older brother married a full blooded filipino woman so their two children are about 3/4 filipino…and Suri looks frightening similar to their youngest, who is three. Its all in the EYES. Their eyes are exactly the same. That baby, somewhere down the line, has Asian blood, and I would bet my life on Filipino, based on looking at Suri and my bf’s nephew.

  31. bigponie

    Now that’s more like it, tom walking behind katie like a good little bitch.

  32. pekpekshorts

    #9 no it’s half Thetan. Xenu, the evil intergallactic ruler is after that baby.

  33. I have to agree with some of you-Katie made her
    bed now has to be poked in it!
    Whenever I look at Tom, I remember that scene
    where he’s at an orgy with all the men in hoods
    and masks-it seemed so realistic to me.
    Poor Katie and poor Suri too.

  34. Dan


  35. kamihi

    What kind of utter BS is this crud?>>>>>
    “Victoria is an old-fashioned British woman who believes in God.” Only a very tiny minority of British people ever even go to church or are god believing Christians. Assholes.

  36. Troller

    God isn’t Christian

  37. danglybanger

    number nine… that’s cause I’m the daddy :D

    …anyway, never encouraged anyone to join scientology… he’s discouraged a few to be certain.

  38. biatcho

    Aren’t the British the folk who killed Jesus? Christ-Killing Limeys!

  39. schack

    he has that sexy man-on-a-mission look about him. i like it, i like the whole thing. i’d fuck ‘im.

  40. Troller

    and TCLTC

  41. jrzmommy

    Q: DanYELL, you ho on the corner of what and Q Street, SE?

  42. schack

    and i think he definitely believes in god.

    posh is the matter-of-fact whore if i ever saw one.

  43. ponk

    oh good, my troll is back. i was beginning to lose self-esteem.

  44. neo_maxie_zoom_dweebie

    Victoria is an old-fashioned British woman who believes in SHOPPING. No fucking way is she giving up any botox or couture money that would go to bankroll “Battlefield Earth 2″ or “The L. Ron Chronicles”. She wasn’t ‘Stupid Spice’, after all.

  45. VeronicaRedux

    Notice how the reps didn’t deny the part about Katie complaining.

  46. schack

    you mean she wasn’t “TB Spice” (true believer spice)

    Stupid Spice was Gerri

  47. neo_maxie_zoom_dweebie

    #47 I thought she was Old Spice?

  48. Lowlands

    I don’t know what they’re doing inside the scientologychurch but it must be something what’s really excite him.He really wants badly Katie holmes to join him.It must be something like they’re all singing gospels and he wants her to join them.

  49. AndresV

    TCLTC!!! (every ten, right?)

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