Tom Cruise is a dancing maniac

May 5th, 2006 // 212 Comments

As part of his Mission: Impossible 3 publicity tour, Tom Cruise made an appearance on BET’s 106 and Park and was encouraged to dance on stage. Nothing I say can prepare your mind for what you’re about to witness. Just make sure to brace yourself, because the awesomeness of this clip has been known to physically knock people off their feat.


  1. sundaybl00dysunday


  2. Geno

    I need $19 to buy “The Gift” on DVD so I can see Katie Holmes before Tom ruined her. Can someone go to my blog & click on “Please give me money” & send me $19? Thanks!

  3. illkarate

    Is that TC reinacting how he rides a sybian?? Wait, my bad – he’s demonstrating how he rides a cock. Either way… dude is lovin hairy balls.

  4. Binky

    I danced a bit like that once, but I was stuck in cement.

  5. missscoobie

    could he BE any gayer? OMFG. poor kate.

  6. large_sized_teen

    it could have been worse. at least he kept the beat.

  7. Providentius

    Well, I’m confused, the boy loves the cock but he dances like a straight man.

  8. Sheva

    Totally lame. The guy’s foot never even left the ground.
    He looked like he knew he was lame but those idiots still kept enouraging his lameness.

  9. ziggurat

    Is he mimicking riding a motorcycle, or having a penis in each hand?

  10. MiamiGoldenPantherr

    He is not even dancing, JUST SOME ACKWARD STIFF SEIZURE. You know what, maybe the cock from last night left his ass hurting. LOL

  11. spatz

    another nail in the coffin for white people everywhere.

    oh and its so obvious, tom cruise loves “da” cock. word

  12. Vampyreska

    He should have done the Risky Business underwear dance. Remember when he used to be cool?

  13. SuperSpence

    That was actually painful to watch. It also completely contradicts everything I’ve assumed about Tom Cruise. Yeah, he’s white, but he’s also gay, right? Shouldn’t a gay guy be able to dance better than that? Or does Scientology frown on dancing?

    Gay = Good dancer
    Tom Cruise = Bad dancer

    What are we to think?

  14. peevedSpinster

    its even better to watch the vid w/o the sound.

  15. Jacq

    Knock people off their “feat?” What the hell? Is lamebabananas running this site now? This place just doesn’t blow my skirt up anymore.
    Plus, I can’t see the full-body dry heave from my computer here. Dammit.

  16. Brokeneyes

    Wow, talk about the most akward mover. This is just futher evidence that Tom is in no way shape or form a top. He loves to get his rosebud plwed which is eveident by the bending of the knees throughout the whole clip.


    i hate him more everyday. what is his problem? doesn’t he know how annoying he is?

  18. gsprescueguy

    Tom Cruise’s next big movie!

    “Boogie Nights II-Put Your Boogie In My Butt!”

  19. pinky_nip

    I feel visually abused. I’ve seen epileptics with smoother moves.

  20. large_sized_teen

    yeah, i just watched it again to be sure. except for this corny ass roll his head made near the end, his dancing was not that bad. I mean, he is a middle aged white man dancing to hip hop, for crying out loud. I’m not saying he doesn’t LTC, I’m just being real.

  21. GG1000

    My God, have we been wrong all along? Is it possible? No gay dude I’ve ever seen is that lame a dancer. Only straight white boys “dance” like that.

  22. MissFit

    TC has lost all control of himself and doesnt realize how pathetic he has become, he is so oblivious to the fact that the hosts are laughing at him and not with him, he just keeps on.

  23. Italian Stallion

    At least they got the Maniac part right……

    He really should be on “Dancing with the Stars”, the fag version of course……

  24. I’m not sure who, but someone is definitely getting sued for the money to pay for the eyeball transplant that I now so desperately need.

    The clip neglected to show the audience laughing themselves into a coma immediately following the performance. Pity.

  25. Italian Stallion

    When “keeping it real” goes wrong………

  26. crookedglasses

    Wow…I’m embarrassed for him

  27. brewdick

    he looks like he has parkinson’s, boy has NO rhythm!

  28. illkarate

    I just spoke with Denny Terrio (of Dance Fever fame). His theory? A 14 inch zucchini shoved up TC’s ass backstage by his assistant.

  29. spammy

    what a weiner.

  30. CoJo

    Okay, there’s no way he is a homosexual. Gay men know how to shake that ass. Well, maybe he’s just not a fun homosexual.

  31. This is one of those instances where you are embarrassed for the person, because they exhibit no shame for themselves. Poor Katie is probably watching at home (in the basement dungeon), hiding her face behind a pillow.

  32. robinz

    Why do the first comments have to be spam and “first”…the fags that have to comment.

  33. mamacita


    True dat.

    Man, that was some funny shit. Since I watched it with the sound off, I just kept imagining him going “Uh uh uh uh” and “Yeeeaaahhhhh”. I think Elaine from Seinfeld had better moves.

  34. spatz

    thats funny cause i think this makes him look gayer than ever. like a gay middle aged white man.

    gay gay gay gay gay!

  35. Maybe he is finally showing his acting prowess (as claimed by lambananas) by PRETENDING he can’t dance, because if he did tear it up, it would be final confirmation that he is gay.

  36. justlikehoney1

    Someone’s been hanging out with Jamie Foxx again! LMAO!!!! I love it! I’m black & I don’t think he did that bad for a white man with zero hip-hop dancing experience.

    #8 – he was bouncing to crunk music. your feet don’t have to leave the ground to do that. Most of the movement is in your legs and arms. Check out Laurence Fishburne and the audience members.

    #20 – I agree. I have seen white folks dance A LOT worse than that. Not to mention, he had better rhythm than Ving Rhames and Ving is black! LOL!!!

  37. Conductor71


    yeah but the beat he kept was not the actual beat he was listening to

    stay on that downwards spiral Tom, its SO amusing to watch

  38. Providentius

    I agree with #10: it must have been the cocks from the previous evening that prevented him from flaming out on the disco inferno. They really irritate the hemorrhoids and fissures in that gaping hole he calls an anus.

  39. Tom Cruise finally did something in public that I like: He makes me look like I’m no longer the worst dancer in the world.

  40. large_sized_teen

    hi #36. I’m black too.

  41. Code58

    I try to hate the guy, and the he pulls off something cute like that.


  42. shell

    Would someone get that dork a different pair of sunglasses? Those are hideous.

  43. SheasGirl

    oh god, that was a waste of a few seconds of my life…

  44. Diana

    Well, his dancing abilities are not going to change the fact he does love to gobble cock.

    *True story*
    I contracted a flu like illness the other day so I took some Nyquil to alleviate my symptoms while I slept. Nyquil makes me loopy and I often talk in my sleep when I am on it. Usually I will say something about my dream or whatever. My husband woke me up to take more Nyquil. I sat straight up in bed and announced, “Tom Cruise loves the cock!”
    My husband laughed for thirty minutes and was sure to tell me first thing in the morning what I told him during the night.

    You know, people only tell the truth through their subconscious. Therefore, it is 100% true.

  45. Italian Stallion

    I’m not black, but I love me some watermelon…….

  46. tuckerkatt

    Did Tom look any more ridiculous than the guy doing that stupid move with his hat? What was that about? “Look at me dip my hat to the beat…unh…unh…my hat…”

  47. TheRedInk

    oo. i feel embarassed FOR him. but hey at least he can hide behind dem big ass aviators.

  48. lesleyannf

    BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA – someone get him some epilim to control that seizure thats goin on…

  49. Fisher55

    OKAY, folks: speaking from experience, gay men are good dancers NOT because there’s some kind of gay dancing gene, but because we spend a lot of time in clubs because that’s where the sex and good *drugs* are…by default we end up knowing how to dance. TC, in the closet, has not yet been exposed… and this is why TCLT–yet can’t dance for shit.

  50. Providentius

    #48 – at last, a sensible theory. Thank you.

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