Tom Cruise presented Steven Spielberg with The Golden Hugo Award at the 42nd Annual Chicago International Film Festival on Saturday. And because he’s Tom Cruise he had to give Spielberg an awkward crotch hug instead of the socially acceptable chest hug. Does that make him gay? Of course not. The homosexual intercourse he has with men does. But not the hug. The hug just proves he enjoys touching his balls to another man’s balls. And why wouldn’t he? He’s Tom Cruise. And I don’t want to live in a world where Tom Cruise doens’t love the feel of balls.