Tom Cruise has way more money than you

January 30th, 2008 // 129 Comments

Tom Cruise is receiving a new Ducati Desmosedici RR motorcycle this week. Tom is receiving the very first model of the only 1,500 made. The cycle cost $72,500 and can reach speeds of 200 mph, according to NY Daily News:

Cruise, whose net worth is upwards of $250 million, is known to have an affinity for fast vehicles, including motorcycles, Porsches and planes. Some estimate the actor spent $1 million in 2006 on fuel alone.

A million smackers on gas? Jesus. Somewhere Al Gore is reading this with eco-friendly steam coming out his ears. He’s probably wishing he didn’t make that promise to Gary Coleman to never kick a midget again. But he never said anything about face punching…


  1. A tube of toothpaste has more money than me..

  2. roastbeef

    Katie Holmes has the ugliest knees ever.

  3. andrew

    2nd ?

  4. havoc

    That wacky little Martian……


  5. The Office Whore

    I bet everytime Katie wears heels, Tom gets so angry he gallops into a wooded glen, and punch-dances out his rage..

  6. kingnoony

    hey lay off tom; that midget has firefighters to save somewhere….

  7. nipolian

    He’s getting a Douchebagati Desmosedici RR motercycle…….How appropriate.

  8. robert doosh

    hey, maybe he’ll crash it.

  9. lisa

    They are well match each other. He is very hot, she is very beautiful and sexy. It is said that they met on celeb Is it true?

  10. sandy

    “Tom Cruise has way more money than you”

    Duh. Tom Cruise has more money than all of us and all the people we know put together,

    Do you think he’ll take it up to 200? What are the odds of crashing and burning at that speed?

  11. havoc

    Is it true is under federal indictment for fraud?


  12. Mal Reynolds

    It is outrageous that this little douche is going to own that bike. I suspect he will never top speed it, and if he does it will be on a closed track with training wheels attached. It is like seeing Paris in her McLaren.

  13. Annabel

    Money or not, TCLTC. Big time.

  14. LadyJane

    That isn’t even factoring in the gas that flies out of his asshole when he’s done having 7 or 8 cocks up there.

  15. p0nk

    hopefully he’ll relive his Top Gun days and go back to racing planes…and one lands on him.

  16. nipolian

    #9 – “They are well match each other”

    Your gookness is showing.

  17. lisa

    they met on celeb…

  18. my comment

    All that money and an orange wife.

  19. Aline

    Not only Al Gore, mind you.

    Ecology is not some bizarre trend for retarded hippies, get real.

  20. Auntie Kryst

    @5 Holy shit LOL! Was that a reference to Far & Away? Worst goddamn movie ever. I so wanted to beat the crap out of him for making that piece of plastic paddy crap.

  21. Hash PT

    Ecology is a lie. Who gives a crap, really? Why would I want to preserve this planet when humanity f*cking SUCKS? Everyone is evil, I say let’s f*ck this sh*t up as fast as we can. Seriously, why even bother with people we don’t even know? They will always be bad, as they are now, as they were when they crucified Christ. Can’t you see that is pointless saving this crappy corrupted planet?

  22. what they didnt tell you is that he spent approximately $1.5mil on anal lube… not that he’s gay.. not that there’s anything wrong with that if he is.

  23. El-Coyote

    I have heard that serial killers have been known to mingle at

  24. whackjob

    uhhh, Hash. Might wanna check the expiration date on your meds….

    on an unrelated note, I love the way Katie has figured out how to slouch with her spine curved just so, without appearing completely unnatural in order to make the midget look not quite so freakish.

    In case anyone forgot TC(S)LTC.

  25. nipolian

    #21 – you seem a tad bit emotionally distraught………fuck dude, you are a mall shooting waiting to happen.

  26. Elk

    Well I guess the old saying is right money doesn’t buy happiness, it buys craze.

  27. aeuwave

    i have more money than Tom…

  28. The Office Whore

    Auntie- It’s actually a great line from Hot Rod, but imagining Tom galloping through a wooded glen and punch dancing just tickles my tickler..

    Funny FRIST!!

  29. Crappy Corrupted Planet Saving Committee

    re #21: We have reviewed our member listing and confirmed you are not an authorized representative of this committee. As such you are hereby ordered to cease and desist all further communication regarding Crappy Corrupted Planets (whether saving or not).

    If you have any questions concerning this communique please visit and register a bonafide complaint.

    Sincerely, Commish

  30. Gerald_Tarrant

    Tom has had Ducs for a long time. Nicole used to buy him a new one for his birthday from Beverly Hills Ducati. He owns bikes just to say he has them. It is part of his napoleonic complex. The world might be taller, but he has more toys, and by toys I mean male prostitues and shit stained dildos that he makes Katie fuck him with.

  31. El-Coyote

    I also heard the TCLTC but people over at also LTC….

  32. Can I have some of your money!

  33. Anonymous

    Lisa, yes, it’s true, they met on celebrity.mingle.

  34. Hill

    Hey, i’ve been away for a while, what does TC(S)LTC mean?
    Poor, poor Kate. Tom scares me. Seriously…

  35. amma

    …#24–totally! At first I thought Katie was doing some sort of pelvic thrust, man pose that Xenu had insisted she use in the bedroom. Now I see it serves a dual purpose by making her look closer in height to her little man. Hysterical.

  36. mrs.t

    Damn….Travolta and Tom Cruise are the ultimate global warmers. Does Scientology preach “Fuck the environment…Xenu’s gonna blow this shit up as soon as we’re out of the solar system anyhow”?

  37. stormer

    16: hahahahahahaha!

  38. fergernauster

    He has more money, yes. And, unfortunately, he will have even more when the seized video of his Scientology indoctrination is released, for his popularity will then skyrocket to heights that force Orca’s couch-acrobat stunt to pall in comparison.

    This particular “entry” video will, once & for all, prove that TCLTC and I, for one, gleefully await its “cumming”.

  39. The Office Whore

    I wonder if Katie ever hides in the top shelf..

  40. crabby old guy

    Wow Tommy, that’s so cool that you can buy another “thing” – but it’s all good, ’cause there are certainly no starving kids in Haiti that you could help instead.

    At least his drone wife has her shoes on the correct feet this time.

  41. mrs.t

    whoa-just went back and read Trenchcoat Mafia’s post @ #21. That’s some f*ucked up sh*t. F*or r**lz. It’s actually kind of hard to do that stupid *… about a waste of time, you fucking douchebag.

  42. Shep

    Looks like scientologists don’t care too much about the environment.

  43. I would have bet Tom spent over a million dollars on lifts for his shoes

  44. Anal Fistula

    #5, you dominate.

    Tom Cruise has more money than me. Sure. But Tom Cruise also has more alien cock up his ass than I do. I consider that to be a fair trade.

  45. fergernauster

    Katie must be in chronic pain from the enforced slouching. If not now, in ten years, certainly. Why doesn’t Tommy don plats, as Prince does? That would surely solve Katie’s chronic-pain issues. Yes… if he truly cared for his wife, he would do that.

  46. shithole world

    Al Gore is a fucking tool hypocrite who spends $30,000 a year in energy bills on his giant estate mansion. So while he promotes himself as Mr. Eco Friendly telling people all over the world to be modest with energy consumption he cannot even practice what he preaches.

    I agree with his concepts but, like every fucking celebrity he is a giant HYPOCRITE. Oh they love to talk about poverty and third world countries and how much they GIVE GIVE GIVE but, NONE of them are capble of taking LESS. It’s easy to give everyone loves a giver and it makes you feel so warm and fuzzy right Oprah but, don’rt ask them to give up any of the luxuries they waste their millions on. So while these FAKE do gooders brag about their charity work and orphans and blah blah blah they do it wearing designer thousand dollar threads travelling by private jet, staying in luxury suites that cost more a night than your car (or your house) and then they return home to their mansions pat themselves on the back as they see that theidiot everyday people have bought the lies they peddle. So why do they do all this? Because they are celbrities and celbrities are attention whores with ego’s than need to be fed more than a herd of kids in a refugee camp.

    this world is FUCKING BULLSHIT.

  47. PunkA

    Cruise, Travolta and Will Smith are all on the down low together at Scientology club. Their salute inspiring leader Miscaviage brings the baby oil each week. And their wives, well, they get paid well, and get to frolic with their own male escorts anytime they want. Xenu loves gay sex and immorality. He took the alien cock himself as often as he could.

  48. gigi

    oh…..? ok…….. unless he & Rob Thomas are caught pounding each other again, I don’t even care about what Tom does anymore…. so he got a fancy little superhero bike that cost about the same as a couple semesters at U of MD / if irony & karma are paying attention, it would be so delicious if he were to crash it….. then Katie can be free….. btw, damn! she can the rock the hell out of an Armani dress!

  49. Anal Fistula

    @34 TCLTC = Tom Cruise Loves The Cock

    and he does. just so you know.


  50. fergernauster

    @47… you excluded Beckham in your list. We all know that DBLTC as well.

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