Tom Cruise welcomes everyone he pissed off into his home

June 4th, 2008 // 70 Comments

Tom Cruise (giving us the Klaatu Stare above) and Katie Holmes moved into their new Beverly Hills home over the weekend and threw a little housewarming party. And Oprah came! OMG! Okay, I’m calm, I’m calm. It turns out the party also had an ulterior motive steeped in Scientology. Go figure. Page Six has the details:

One attendee said, “Everyone he’s been having issues with was invited: Sumner Redstone, Steven Spielberg, Oprah Winfrey, you name it. Then there were all the gays, which was hilarious because Scientology ‘cures’ gays . . . There’s a tenet in Scientology that basically says, ‘After you cut people off, you have to invite them back in.’”

Dammit, Tom. Can’t you just have people over to keep up the illusion your marriage isn’t a sham without involving Scientology for once? And while we’re at it, Xenu Pictionary BLOWS! Yup, I went there. But, I’ll admit, the Thetan meatballs are pretty damn tasty. What are they made of again? The homeless? Oh, that’s nice.

Photos: INFdaily.com
superficial

  1. NY Ted

    What is with the “tiny man in white” look…He looks like the founder of some kind of fucking sick cult where all the members eventually drink poison kool-aid to go and meet their maker…in this case I guess it would be L. Ron Hubbard…!!

    WHAT A FUCKING FREAKOID!

  2. Anonymous

    I greatly suspect Oprah is a Scientologist. If you watch her show she is constantly talking about new age/self help crap. Scientology is very close to that minus the cult aspect and the little green men.

    Oprah, Will Smith, and the Beckams are all part of the brainwashed cult now.

  3. de-xenu

    what are those “wraps” around her ankles? To hide the cuff marks because she is chained up inside the house.

  4. lin

    OMG…I think I see a baby bump!!!!! BTW…I am so glad you pointed out the “stare” so far you are the only one that has. LMAO

  5. Kate

    That picture where he is holding her leg couldn’t look more awkward. “Look at us! Look how funny and spontanteous we are! I’m holding her leg!! Isn’t that CRAZY??? HAHAHAHA”

    I re-watched that clip of him getting some award from Scientology a few years ago. He and Miscavidge (sp) fucking SALUTED each other. Like, held the salute for a good couple of seconds like they are in the fucking Army! I still can’t get over how bizarre these people are. And after reading that ex-Scientology kids website, I’m more convinced than ever these people are completely insane and must be stopped.

  6. John

    Poor Katie…..Tom has already been married to 2 other women before her…. lots of fucking with other women before Katie…. what a shame.

  7. John

    Poor Katie…..Tom has already been married to 2 other women before her…. lots of fucking with other women before Katie…. what a shame.

  8. John

    Poor Katie…..Tom has already been married to 2 other women before her…. lots of fucking with other women before Katie…. what a shame.

  9. Abi

    KH dresses like my grandma now.

  10. Bren

    wow he’s looking mighty creepy in that pic

  11. SHORT SHIT , TINY TIM, LITTLE DRUMMER BOY. HE IS SOOOOO PLAYED OUT FAKE ASS SMILE, DESPERATE EYES, INSINCERE, BAD ACTOR, DID I COVER SHORT? I DONT FEEL SORRY FOR KATIE HOLMES EITHER, SHE WAS ALWAYS A NOBODY ANYWAYS SO ITS PERFECT.

  12. just a guess

    Sorry but I think that the woman with the big boobs in the top right is Monica Lewinsky.

  13. Dorito Man

    He’s a clingy little fooker isn’t he.
    I think she should throw Little Tommy-etta over her shoulder and carry him across the threshold. Walk like a man, Mrs Cruise.

  14. Groucho

    I wish he would have pissed me off. I need a vacation.

  15. Gar

    #3 you rock man

    who is this Tom thingy ?

  16. Anonymous

    Tom and David saluted each other because the Scientologists have a navy theme and they actually have ranks.

    http://www.xenu.net/archive/so/

  17. toonkinstein

    first TCLTC…cock-adoodle-doo..I heard that is what Katie has to HOLLA every morning….true that!

    Is Tomcrockery wearing his highheels again??He looks tall…wearin’ his little sailor suit and everything….

    Having said that..I leave you all with this T C L T C …TRUE DAT!

  18. toonkinstein

    #50….no they don’t have weird sci-fi music playing in tommy’s”TCLTC” house…he has that Mission Impossible theme playing 24/7….with subliminal maniacal laugh track….

    *staring with Klaatu glare*

  19. Cougar Texas

    Um, did anyone else get the willies from the freaky, evil, prince-o-darkness stare that Tommy has in pic #1 ? I seriously froze when I clicked on it. That’s fuckin scary. I really think he made a pact with Satan. Or Oprah (one in the same).

  20. William 3

    Hey Cougar, it looks like he’s got the Hitler stare down pat already! And in picture #4, look at his canoe feet! Small guys have small feet, unless he’s up to wearing bigger shoes to make himself bigger.

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