Tom Cruise welcomes everyone he pissed off into his home

June 4th, 2008 // 70 Comments

Tom Cruise (giving us the Klaatu Stare above) and Katie Holmes moved into their new Beverly Hills home over the weekend and threw a little housewarming party. And Oprah came! OMG! Okay, I’m calm, I’m calm. It turns out the party also had an ulterior motive steeped in Scientology. Go figure. Page Six has the details:

One attendee said, “Everyone he’s been having issues with was invited: Sumner Redstone, Steven Spielberg, Oprah Winfrey, you name it. Then there were all the gays, which was hilarious because Scientology ‘cures’ gays . . . There’s a tenet in Scientology that basically says, ‘After you cut people off, you have to invite them back in.’”

Dammit, Tom. Can’t you just have people over to keep up the illusion your marriage isn’t a sham without involving Scientology for once? And while we’re at it, Xenu Pictionary BLOWS! Yup, I went there. But, I’ll admit, the Thetan meatballs are pretty damn tasty. What are they made of again? The homeless? Oh, that’s nice.


  1. Jrz

    Can the two of them look ANY more uncomfortable in the picture of him trying to wrap her leg around him, as if that happens all the time?

  2. Jimbollina Seville

    What’s wrong with the gays?

  3. deacon jones

    Huge rack alert, top right, pic 4

  4. Tom Cruise


  5. Anna

    I think you mean the illusion that their marriage isn’t a sham.

  6. The Gorgeous One

    That is an awesome stare. O O

  7. VickyOz

    Awkward indeed!

  8. pointandlaugh

    Tom’s Klaatu stare scares me

  9. Tom Cruise

    HAHAHAHA See everyone I am hugging my wife, does everyone see that? HAHAHAHA We just can’t keep our hands off each other, you all can tell that right? HAHAHAHA I just can’t help loving that man of mine..woman of mine HAHAHAHA.

  10. blp

    Look at his evil scientology stare!

  11. Matt Lauer

    Where in the world is Matt Lauer? It sure as shit wasn’t at that party, fucking douchebags. Where the fuck was my invitation?? Cruise is a goddamn prick.

  12. grobpilot

    “Steeped” in Scientology, you fish-breathed knucklehead.

  13. Damnit, I threw that invitation away because I thought it was junk mail! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!

  14. Gia

    I am no longer a fan of Tom because he dumped Nicole without warning or marriage counseling. He left Nicole and his 2 kids to start a new life. He has bad character and I would never ever pay to see one of his movies.

  15. Barak Obama

    Deacon, thanks for the mammeries.

  16. Corlyss

    #3 – Thanks for pointing it out. I missed it the first time.

    #16 – Wut? Is that the only reason you wont pay to see one of his movies? Because he left Nicole? Not because he plays the same character in every movie? (Same Character; See, Himself)

  17. deacon jones

    Always on my toes Barack
    Nice win yesterday

  18. sarah

    he dumped nicole on the eve of their seventh year of marriage, bc then he wouldve had to pay her more money in alimony. how does he get these lovely women to marry him? must have something to do with the klaatu stare haha. hes so bizarre! get will smith away from him! get katie out of his crazed grip!

  19. nipolian

    Fish – I don’t want to tell you how to run your site……..but if you could kindly remove numbers 1, 2, 3, 5, 7 & 8 from the So Freaking Hot section it would be greatly appriciated. Thank you.

    btw TCLTC

  20. Bags and circles aka veggi's favorite troll

    Tom looks like he’s got bags and circles under his eyes.

    Now, on to the Superficial disclaimer:

    The Superficial is a celebrity gossip site which publishes rumors and conjecture in addition to accurately reported facts. Information on this site may or may not be true and The Superficial makes no warranty as to the validity of any claims.


    Frankly, that’s just a load of bs. In a previous Tom Cruise article, I scoped out the pics of Tom’s house and then found the very same house right down to the last damn tree on Google Earth.

    I’m serious. I couldn’t tell the exact street address, but I’ve got the EXACT latitude and longitude stored on my computer, as well as the name of the street in front of his house. Hell, I ought to post it, and then WE’LL JUST SEE ABOUT “MAY OR MAY NOT BE TRUE”!!! >: (

  21. stupid pwned troll

    He should get a tattoo that reads “I’M NOT GAY!!!”

  22. britney's weave

    i agree #1, that is pretty fucking ridiculous.

  23. I love how she mocks him by wearing heels…

  24. Tasha

    Katie looks Pregnant again – Xenu help her if she is.

  25. Tom Cruise Sucks!


    What a heartless SOB and cheap bastard!

    Tom Cruise Sucks!

  26. BigGyrl

    Okay where in the scripts of holy Scientology does it say that throwing your entire weight on your wife is sexy? Even if you are a homosexual and your marriage is a complete sham?
    He just looks so uncomfortable next to a woman like he is just doing anything like an immature pre-schooler to keep himself busy.

    You know what, I have the rest of the pictures of this film and
    the fifth picture his Tom & Katie waving goood-bye to their guests.
    The sixth picture is Tom pushing Katie away mimicking the work “Yuck!” as they turn to go into the house.
    The seventh picture is Tom givin himself “cootie shots” and crossing his fingers.

  27. butterfly

    WOW this guy is clearly nuts (as if we didn’t know that already)….but that stare is priceless. I’m going to send a huge copy of just that face in an email every time someone at my work pisses me off.

  28. PunkA

    He looks like on uptight, angry individual. I bet he is one intense dude and sucks to be around for long periods of time. Not the type of guy to just sit around with and shoot the breeze all day. If you did, fist fights happen.

    And what is up with the all white? The pants are horrible on him. His money ought to buy better clothes.

  29. havoc

    I always knew it was the Scientologists that came up with the concept of atonement.

    To be fair, Tom Cruise did cure me. Of paying $8.00 to see one of his movies…


  30. Nipolian, haha, I was thinking the same thing!!

    Ok, somebody tell me because I didn’t get the memo…how did Tom piss off Oprah? Is she pissed that he wrecked her couch or something??

  31. Lipper

    These two always bring a smile to my face, so much to say and so much to crack on. Where DO you start? *sigh*

    Whips out banner and raises it high over head “TCLTC!!!”

    Never gets old ya know?

  32. stupid pwned troll

    The fact that Tom can’t even act straight is all the proof I will ever need to know for sure that he’s a shitty actor.

  33. BigGyrl

    OMG!!! I just developed the eight picture

    As they walk into their separate wings, Tom to the West and Katie to the East wing, Katie Holmes removes her mask to reveal they she is really……
    DAVID SPADE, AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. Zee Brat

    Best Headline/Photo combo ever.

  35. Zee Brat

    The only other Headline/Photo combo that came close was Jenna Jameson Looks Like Beef Jerky. Another classic.


    It looks like his family on the right, and poor Katie’s on the left.

    Remember how Denise’s family sucked up to O.J. before she was butchered? They were all just one big happy family then.

    Hollywood is a sham, it’s bogus, there is NO JOY in Mudville.

    And #16 – didn’t Nicole leave HIM because she was raised Catholic and didn’t want her two adopted crumb-crunchers raised around that Scientology shit?


    Sorry, of course I meant before Nicole Brown was butchered – but Denise came off like a total cunt anyway, so there. . .

  38. Chupacabra


  39. HuckyDucky

    Klaatu, Verata, Ni

  40. toolboy

    Tom looks good in the Jim Jones leisure wear. I wonder what flavor of cool aid was served….

  41. Ted from LA

    Is it just me or does he look like R.P. McMurphy after the lobotomy?

  42. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong

    OOOH, he’s an angry little elf. I bet he’s from the South Pole.

  43. snarky

    oh lets just lay off crazy tommy boy already; I don’t think he’s gay, I just think he’s weird & screwed up; espc after hearing about his past and the way his dad treated him. That is one hell of a freaky stare though, holy crap…

  44. Just Sayin

    @13 – yeah and Matt Lauer is just about a prissy little “Nancy-Pants”
    Who the hell cares where he is as long as it’s not anywhere near

  45. shoofitz

    #46: Lay off Tom Cruise?? You can’t be serious!! There’s a plethera of cracks just waiting to be made on that egotistical bastard. My father treated me like shit too, does that mean I have an excuse to act like a douchebag? Oh yeah, and….

  46. People people wake up in time.
    This “WHITE” embicile is trying to trick the whole fucking world with his scientology-leadership!!

  47. norton

    What’s with the “pure as driven snow” white getup? I’ll bet the inside of that house is weird as hell… indirect soft blue lighting, white marble everywhere and some strangely – soft hypnotic sci-fi music in the background.

    I’ll bet he has his own chair in the middle of the great room elevated (with a step ladder, since he’s a fucking midget) so he can look down upon his minions when they visit.

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