Tom Cruise had an abusive father

April 6th, 2006 // 77 Comments

tom-cruise-abused.jpgAn explanation has finally emerged as to why Tom Cruise is so messed up and it has to do with his abusive father. He tells the upcoming issue of Parade:

“He was a bully and a coward. He was the kind of person where, if something goes wrong, they kick you. It was a great lesson in my life


  1. LookAtME

    FIRST!! HA

  2. gogoboots

    Now I get it, he’s been so abused that now he has to take his insanity out on Katie.

  3. LookAtME

    He’d fight the bullies? Yeah right… he’s still the size of an average 5th grader.

  4. Conductor71

    Poor Tom…we all know how much he hates vigorous and rough physical action with other men

  5. whackjob

    first, but front page appropriately showed zero posts…

    Yah, poor Tom, my Daddy didn’t love me, I was picked on by bullies….boo effin hoo, get over it douchebag. Nothing a little scientology can’t fix. HaHaHa. Now, be a good boy and go drink your koolaid.

  6. smig

    A perfect candidate for psycotherapy, no?

  7. playahater101

    I don’t doubt what he is saying. It explains a lot of his weirdness. But I find it very odd that every time this guy has a movie coming out, he comes out with some sort of shocking revelation. With War of the Worlds it was Katie Holmes. Then their DVD’s got released and it was then having a baby. Nad now MI3 is coming out and he reveals he was abused and their baby is due the same day the movie is being released. Coincidence? I think not!!

  8. playahater101

    Sorry, ment to say *them and *and. Typing fast, trying not to get caught at work!!!!!

  9. robinz

    Oh Tom. Whatever will you do.

  10. He “laid it down” when confronted by bullies. I guess that’s how he turned gay. When push came to shove, Tom turned the other cheek, so to speak.

  11. Cairde

    Let’s see he:
    1) had a distant/abusive father.
    2) was, for some reason, a social outcast at school.
    3)is a former Catholic seminary student.
    4)is a Scientology spokesperson.

    Is there anything about Mr. Cruise that soesn’t scream “repressed flaming homosexual”?

  12. gogoboots

    I’ve always thought he was gay. I mean wasn’t that the reason Nicole broke up with him?

  13. tits_on_snack

    Tom Cruise creeps me out more and more every single day.

  14. EvilFiend

    I can’t for him to blame his gayness on his four older sisters…

  15. YapYapYap

    Bullying?? Whah – Isn’t that what the Brits call buggery? Because that would explain a lot.

  16. Blaze

    Well let me build a little bridge so you can GET OVER IT

  17. jugsgirl

    Who is Tom Cruise?

  18. playahater101

    #11, I think the pregnant girlfriend was supposed to cover any question people had about him being gay. She’s a diversion.

    Poor Tom. Everyone beat him up when he was little. Boo fucking hoo. Everyone has run ins with bullies when they are younger. It’s called CHILDHOOD. Get over it. Go enjoy your millions and stop dwelling on the past.

  19. Dirty D

    my brother whooped his ass in ‘born of the forth of july’. but i bet no one has seen it.

  20. sweetcheeks

    This smacks of “publicity stunt,” does it not? Much like Teri Hatcher’s earlier reported sexual “abuse” — anyone who actually wanted anything to DO with Hatcher’s sexuality was clearly the one wronged there.

    So I presume Cruise’s PR agent presented the idea like this:

    Agent: See, Tom, the deal is you HURT. You have someone to BLAME. People will stop saying that you’re a psycho, and redirect their disgust for you on to your abusive father and/or bullies.

    Agent: Plus, who wants to see MI 3? No one, that’s who. But seeing a physically abused, Scientology worshipping, closet homosexual pretend to be a tough guy on screen — now that’s worth $8.50 a pop!! Box Office Blockbuster, here we come!

  21. playahater101

    #17, he’s the gay guy you keep seeing with really pregnant Katie Holmes.

  22. PapaHotNuts

    I would love to see Lyndie England tie a rope around Tom Cruise’s neck, blindfold him, dangle a half-smoked Kool Menthol from her lip, and give the “Thumb’s Up” sign to Tom’s little ding-a-ling.

    Now that’s abuse, Lyndie England style.

  23. hendero

    “There’s something wrong with this guy. Don’t trust him. Be careful around him.’ There’s that anxiety.”

    There goes Tom, talking about himself again.

  24. imabeeatch

    Oooh, so that’s why he’s hooked up with L. Ron Hubbard. The cumguzzler was looking for a father figure. And to get abducted, I mean ass probed, by aliens.

  25. playahater101

    Did anyone see this very disturbing picture of katie Holmes’ belly? I saw it when I was looking at the pics of Mischa Barton’s nipples. That’s one ROUND belly.

  26. Playahata, #7, makes a good point. I guess he’ll come out the closet if/when “Minority Report 2″ is released.

  27. sweetcheeks

    #11 — Touche!

  28. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    For that brief moment in his life right after Top Gun, or around the time of Risky Business, Tom Cruise felt like people liked him. Now he’s reverting back to his true self, the person that only those closest to him would know, such as his father and his school peers. And he’s finding that the rest of the world finds him to be a creepy drama class tool as well. Well, the only way to remedy that is by drawing more and more attention to yourself by worshipping aliens, knocking up some young girl with low self esteem, and having strong, vocal opinions about shit that the general populous would disagree with you about while touting yourself as a genius for being such an arrogant ass. That’s how you win friends and influence people. No, wait, that’s how you die alone and inspire future generations to defile your grave with drawings of penises.

  29. Hey little Tom! Come see what I got you at Nordstrom’s……. closer…….come on………BANG!

  30. sweetcheeks

    oshkosh — you’re KILLING me. Fucking hilarious!

  31. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I don’t know what inspired me… I’ve never had anything to say about Tom Cruise before. Mostly because I felt it went without saying. Oh, yeah… he loves the cock, too.

  32. bjpack

    Apparently his father used to make him dance on the couch as he (the father) yelled out “I won

  33. TaiTai

    No surprises here, as all those cults prey on people who are looking for acceptance and father figures. He is just what they are looking for — and plenty of money to boot. I agree, he has great coincidental timing when it comes to publicity and his movie releases.

  34. brewerpatriot

    That’s some big pillow that Katie Holmes is carrying in that pic from #25. How did he knock her up when he wasn’t able to get Nicole pregnant?

    When are these hollywood people just going to admit when they’re gay. Quite frankly, I’d be surprised at the ones that aren’t considering that almost every guy that’s ever taken drama is gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

    BTW, I love how “Tom Cruise loves the cock” is a catchphrase on here…if only it could be successfully carried to everyday life.

    “Did you hear about that Tom Cruise interview?”
    “Yeah, that Tom Cruise sure loves the cock.”

  35. Craig & "em"

    Just because someone consistently calls you by your real name “AlphaBetaLimQuat #3″, flys you around in his BIG expensive space ship at barrier breaking speeds, and zaps all of your school buddies with a Klingon Ray Gun…that doesn’t make them abusive…

    OR does it?

  36. Craig & "em"

    I think Tom “Hairpiece” Cruise should have his own Superficial Section. He gives us sooooooooo much and we talk about him tooooooo little.

    Oprah out!

  37. itturnsoutitsme

    Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad… You’re being Glib!!!

    Do you know that some people have been using bullies as a street drug?!?!?!

  38. krisdylee

    poor tommy… i wept.. well, i wept my ass after my shit this morning…

  39. Italian Stallion

    Thats funny, I never thought he was gonna be so rich while I was kicking the shit out of him. One time he hid from me in the woods near our play ground and I had to make a trail of Reeses Pieces to get him to come out, and then I beat the shit out of him again…..
    Oh the memories…..

  40. lebowski

    Really the only thing that surprises me is that his Mom didn’t also kick his ass regularly.

  41. bigtuna299

    what a fruit loop

  42. M@ce

    His father was obviously a clear thinking individual who saw how his prancing little nancy-boy son would turn out and decided to give him what the Bush administration would refer to as,”preemptive beatings”


  43. Elikapeka

    HAHAHA #37. Priceless. As if anyone needed another reason to think Tom is a giant pole sucking twat. Now he’s scared of bullies. What’s the Scientology way to deal with them?

  44. Gee, let me guess. The movie studio came to him and said , “Hey, what with the Oprah jumping, and now this whole South Park boycott thing, people are really starting to hate you, you need to do something to make them like you or feel sorry for you, either save a baby thats fallen down a well or claim that you were abused as a kid now that your dad’s dead and isn’t around to call you a liar, you decide which one”

  45. Mrs. Boop

    Well Tom Cruise Im glad to see you took the high road from being bullied as a child!!!

    Because I mean you would never stoop to their level and, I dont know bully a young naive girl into sticking a turkey baster into her nether regions just to prove you werent gay!!

    And you would never bully ANYONE who called you gay with a lawsuit

    and you would never EVER bully a TV show into not showing an episode about you & your religion by saying you wouldnt promote your new movie

    It’s good to see there are such fine people still out in the world like Tom Cruise!!

  46. kpatton

    His dad probably kicked him for being so f-ing stupid. I mean Scientology? Religion is dumb period, but science fiction religion? I think Tommy boy was a head case long before his dad did anything. Probably bi-polar or worse. That’s why he turned to acting and Scientology. He was an easy mark. Too bad his money and influence allows him to get away with influencing others. He is a white Michael Jackson. I mean with his good looks(?) and huge…nose, he can’t seem to keep a woman happy. Mimi was probably right, he just needs to be outed and soon.

  47. reptilicus

    who iz this guy an why is he in the news?

    does he make muoives or sumthin

    i mean liek i keep seein him talkin bout his church but WHO IS HE??!!!!1

  48. lill

    Sounds like he’s turned into his father. Only he’s the sort of ass that uses his money and influence to bully people.

  49. Trotter

    #30 – OK, I peed in my pants a little while giggling at your comment.

    Has anyone noticed Tom’s complete disregard for syntax. He mixes so many tenses, jumps concepts… It’s as though he’s horrible distracted… Perhaps he had an armadillo up his ass during the interview.

  50. bjpack

    #47, is that you KFed? Jealous that this one isn’t about you?

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