Tom Cruise gets BlackBerry update during Primetime

April 18th, 2006 // 100 Comments

Let’s go ahead and just make this official Tom Cruise day. During his Primetime interview with Diane Sawyer, Cruise got a live baby update from Katie Holmes on his BlackBerry. He doesn’t do anything weird, but it’s always fascinating to watch Cruise because you never know what he’ll do next. Pull out his BlackBerry? Kidnap a homeless man? Punch Diane Sawyer in the face? It’s all gold. And it’s never surprising!

Thanks to Diane for the tip, and for having an ironic name.

superficial

  1. No_Angel

    What does Katie do that drives Tom crazy?

    Ummm, maybe she thinks about something other than stupid gay Tom Cruise.

    Diane should have asked TC what he does to make Katie his-Stepford-wife-to-be-after-M-III. Oh I should have said what does TC do to make Katie crazy. As in amazingly crazier.

    TC makes me want to shower in very hot water with bleach.

  2. ellaminnowpea

    @43 – Tom Cruise is blissfully in love with HIMSELF — he’s a total controling, self-serving asswipe blissfully flaunting a young unsuspecting chickie that he lured into his cult. TCLTC and NOTHING ELSE!!!

  3. not-one-of-you

    “Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have welcomed their first child together, two inside sources have told PEOPLE.

    No other details are immediately available.”

    inside sources = cultists
    and according to other bits, is not TCLTC in europe promoting his crappy sequel, so he is so ecstatic at the imminent birth that he leaves the country……

  4. MissAppropriated

    Dear Tom Cruise

    We know that you love the cock. All your pseudo-heterosexual antics are getting tiresome.

    Yours sincerely

    The World

  5. ellaminnowpea

    TC fancies himself as an ‘alpha’ male–and what do alpha males do to show their the leader? Hump everyone else in the pack! His whole existance is based on humping!!!

    Just announced on the news – the ANTI-CHRIST has been birthed!!!!

  6. Iwannabeacelebrity

    The spawn has been born and they named her SURI? What kind of jacked up shit is that?

  7. not-one-of-you

    well, TCLTC is a level VII operating thetan, so he alone knows that SURI is to XENU what krypton us to Superman. makes perfect sense. full name: Suri ElRonHubbardette

  8. ellaminnowpea

    …and her name is Suri–is that pronounced like “Surrey with the fringe on the top”!?!

  9. BigJim

    Tom Cruise loves the cock, but not as much as Jacq does.

  10. ellaminnowpea

    From what I can tell, Jacq is a HOT chick–and should partake every chance she gets…God knows I surely would….go for the wood that is…..

  11. sherry-co

    What a beautiful couple, and what a joyous day this must be for them as they welcome there precious bundle of joy, Suri, into there lives!! I think you all are jealous!

  12. Libraesque

    what I find fucking hilarious about this is that she is so out to crucify/expose him, and when asked about her, he not only is stumped for an answer for an ungodly amount of time, but then he quotes stuff that has been printed in magazines. HAHAHAHAHAHA What a tool

  13. juicylips

    i cant wait until he comes out of the closet. he is such a fag.

  14. bunnyhugger

    boy, sherry-co, that’s a really bad stutter.
    oh, yeah, we’re REAL jealous.
    *snicker*

  15. LittleWatson

    I would be so pissed off if I was 9 months pregnant and stuck home and my boyfriend was off doing movie press and needed to be updated via blackberry on my condition. come the fuck home, idiot.
    of course, this scenario really doesn’t apply to these two, as katie was 11 months pregnant and guarded by scientologists. and brainwashed.

  16. sherry-co

    All of you are so jealous!! You have to say such vile things to give your own lame lifes a boost. They have it ALL!! and all of you have NOTHING!! CONGRATS to Tom & Katie..now they are not only the SUPER COUPLE, but now they are the SUPER FAMILY!!

  17. ESQ

    FULL OF SHIT ANSWER! When he was asked, “Is there anything that she does that drives you crazy?” He was totally trying to find a mild answer, but lamely says nothing! This guy is so anal retentive he shits Astroglide.

  18. ESQ

    In response to #66 – do you have anything else to say other than what have posted for the last two stories?

    If you cannot take our humor here, perhaps going back to your Weekly Reader is more to your liking.

  19. TaiTai

    It’s that awful fake smile that makes me want to punch him in the face every time. He has that same smile even when he is about to tell off some Swedish interviewer or scold someone for squirting water in his face or jump on a couch or bend over…

  20. This is Tom Cruise’s best performance to date. He actually uses his acting talent to play “normal.” At the beginning of the clip he almost breaks character though, you can tell. He definitely dances around that “drives you crazy” question pretty well too. I would like to nominate him to the academy right now.

  21. junebug

    1 word = douchebag.

  22. PostAcidYouth

    Lies. It was Xenu texting Tom. “Resist her charms. You love the cock. In the name of Xenu, resist!”

  23. No_Angel

    #66

    Crawl out of your little happy place and see people for what they are. They have it all? And the plural of “life” is “lives”. Just how does a 9 year old sneak onto mommy’s computer and get to this site anyway?

    Are you kidding me?

    They don’t have anything; TC does. Katie could be tossed away now that TC has his child/spawn.

    Having a child outside of a marriage is a bad idea. A popular one, for sure, but when it comes down to protecting the rights of the munchkins and seeing to their happiness, not a smart choice to make. Unless you have the money to buy a gold-plated attorney/contract.

    I wouldn’t trade my life for TC’s for one second. Money and fame don’t buy you happiness.

    It’s not about having what want, it’s about wanting what you have.

    You’re an idiot.

  24. Jacq

    I agree that poster #66 is a total effen idiot. I nominate Sherry-co to take Trophywife’s place on the most hated people list.

    Maybe one day she’ll bite off the tip of her tongue with those rat teeth. It’ll just fall off and grow another Katie.

  25. He is almost too easy to make fun of.

  26. jour hadique

    ill give you a big pile of money if someone can figure out what the to and/or from addresses are on that crackberry message. and by money, i mean fecal matter. but it will be soooo worth it.

  27. Libraesque

    sherrysherrysherry-co. It’s obvious you work in the kitchen at the Scientology Center. Any normal person who hasn’t been brainwashed can see that Tom Cruise does not have a life that anyone would envy. He is ridiculed around the world, not because of jealousy, but because he is a horses ass. He started out a completely insecure person with disabilities that was weak and wanted to believe in something that would cure him. They pray on the weak, and if you’re rich, you’re an even bigger target, it’s what Scientology is all about. He’s turned into a hidious creature that has a god complex. Now, take the Top Gun poster off your Scientology dorm room wall and quit posting here

  28. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    #66 reminds me of Big Gay Al.

  29. sherry-co

    Scientology will one day be the Religion of choice for most people who are smart enough to “get” what it stands for. Its all about “EMPOWERMENT” Something which most of you apparently have no idea of the meaning. Which is why when something wonderful happens to this world, as the birth of Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes child. All you ppl can do is spew vileness. Typical for a bunch of ignorant & indigent ppl.

  30. sherry-co

    Scientology will one day be the Religion of choice for most people who are smart enough to “get” what it stands for. Its all about “EMPOWERMENT” Something which most of you apparently have no idea of the meaning. Which is why when something wonderful happens to this world, as the birth of Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes child. All you ppl can do is spew vileness. Typical for a bunch of ignorant & indigent ppl.

  31. sherry-co

    Scientology will one day be the Religion of choice for most people who are smart enough to “get” what it stands for. Its all about “EMPOWERMENT” Something which most of you apparently have no idea of the meaning. Which is why when something wonderful happens to this world, as the birth of Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes child. All you ppl can do is spew vileness. Typical for a bunch of ignorant & indigent ppl.

  32. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    sherry-co drank the Kool-Aid. It’s only a matter of time…

  33. sherry-co

    Scientology will one day be the Religion of choice for most people who are smart enough to “get” what it stands for. Its all about “EMPOWERMENT” Something which most of you apparently have no idea of the meaning. Which is why when something wonderful happens to this world, as the birth of Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes child. All you ppl can do is spew vileness. Typical for a bunch of ignorant & indigent ppl.

  34. mamacita

    @82

    Unfortunately, sherry-co will go to her grave knowing that she was a complete and utter failure. She DID drink the kool-aid, but she forgot the Nikes. The dumb bitch.

  35. WTF

    he was TOTALLY acting during that interview….what a fucking NUT!

    Run katie…while you still can. let him keep the “baby” and run while he is sleeping in his pod!

  36. Jacq

    #81 – You are clearly a freakish baby molester, right? I love how you capitalize Religion, as if the capital “R” makes it a real religion. That’s how all of us Christians got in line. Some nut job standing on a sidewalk screaming at me about how I’m so fucking dumb that I “don’t get it”, that makes me think “ok, I’ll try that.” Plus, it’s not like anything is shrouded in secrecy when it comes to Scientology, which makes it not cult-like. And it’s not like TC (who LTC BTW) gets up and runs away from people who ask him for clarity. Check. Just making sure we’re on the same page. Thanks for giving me the “empowerment” to get up and take a shit after I read your post. I also printed it and wiped with it. I have a bunch of vileness here with your name on it, turn and face me. Oh, and it figures that you would call us indigent when you have to be rich to buy your staircase to heaven (or wherever the fuck you go, hell or whatever) in Scientology. As a typical Scientologist, you would confuse being ignorant with hating Scientology. I want to pull a cinderblock from the wall of your cell at the Celebrity Centre (that’s how they spell it, right? The fucking e at the end?) and dash your brains onto the fuckin’ floor with it.

    You are in the cross-hairs, Sherry. I WILL get you.

  37. Jacq

    Damn! I didn’t spell that right. It’s Scien-TWAT-ogy. I hope you come back to defend your carcass.

  38. No1Zero

    LORD PLEASE, STRIKE THIS SINNER DOWN!!! GODDAMN TOM CRUISE SUCKS ASS!!!

  39. Andy1

    Katie Holmes has a stupid fake smile just like TC.

    And what are Scientologists doing here? Shouldn’t you be sucking on an adult binky?

  40. Zed

    On another note, I’ve tried to parse sherry-co’s sentence:

    “Something which most of you apparently have no idea of the meaning.”

    I can’t. I simply can’t. It’s impossible.

    Bwaaaaaaaaaa! Mommy, please make her go away! Please!

  41. sherry-co

    Hey Jacq..Bring it on..Go figure..only a TRULY IGNORANT person would think that the word IGNORANT had anything to do with HATE..plain and simple Jacq..Ill make it simplier for you to understand…IGNORANT=STUPID or in your case..IGNORANT=STUPID JACQ…wipe your ass with this post dummy…SCIENTOLOGY RULES!!! HAIL TO TOM CRUISE!!

  42. St.Minutia

    go jacq. it’s your birthday ***does cabbage patch dance moves***

  43. LookMaNoHands!!

    TC kind of reminds me of my sister’s boyf, who is french and is equally odd.And short.

  44. mamacita

    @91

    Actually, you fucking sea sponge, ignorant does not=stupid. What it=is the following:

    1. Lacking education or knowledge.
    2. Showing or arising from a lack of education or knowledge: an ignorant mistake.
    3. Unaware or uninformed.

    On the other hand, stupid=

    1. Slow to learn or understand; obtuse.
    2. Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes.
    3. Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless

    In case you don’t get it, I’ll paraphrase. Ignorance=lack of knowledge, stupid=lack of intelligence. So, if WE’RE ignorant, and you can’t DEFINE the word ignorant correctly, what does that make you? I’ll tell you what it makes you—–a STUPID fucking tool in the shared toolbelt of Lord Xenu, Tom Cruise, and L. Ron Hubbard. Or, more likely, just a STUPID fucking tool, since you’re just trying to piss everyone off and probably don’t believe all that shit you’re spouting.

  45. Jacq

    Sherry – If you could read, I said it was typical that you confuse ignorance with anyone who hates Scientwatogy. I didn’t say that hate and ignorance were the same thing. Step back into the real world you brainwashed, fuck. I’m sure being a Scientwatogist makes you feel like you are constantly under attack. Thanks for making it “simplier” for me.
    OH MY GOD! IGNORANT = STUPID JACQ?! STUPID JACQ?! I’m going to cry and convert now… Quick someone come to my defense!
    Thanks for summing up Scientwatogy for us! Is comes down to this – HAIL TOM CRUISE! You said it. You are the stupid fuck, you realize that you’re idolizing a celebrity, right? You could never think as highly as him as he does of himself.
    And have you heard Tom Cruise loves the cock? He must love you, too, because you are a total cocksucker. Er, wait, make that SUCKER.
    P.S. YOUR CAPS SUCK.

  46. Ugh, more overly coreographed =Sorry Mamacita, I know I misspelled that= ;)

    Crap from Tom and Kaite, I was reading another interview with her where a suprise gift from Tom of a very expensive necklace just happened to show up during the interview so she could squeal and say “Thats My Man!” etc… Ugh, Can husbands die in childbirth?

  47. mamacita

    @96

    Yes, choreographed.

    “Ugh, Can husbands die in childbirth?”

    They can if I put a spike through their neck.

  48. Indie Chic

    ok, got a question, I understand why Tom might fabricate a relationship with a woman to prove he’s not gay (if he is gay), but what I can’t seem to understand is why Katie would agree to having his child if that were the case — a kid is a huge commitment that you’ll have for the rest of her life…why would she want to tie herself up with a kid et al when she could simply marry him for career advancement. Any ideas? (and the answer b/c Tom likes cock isn’t the answer I’m looking for, I’m serious –what would Katie Holmes motivation be for the kid? Yes the marriage could advance her career but a kid?

  49. mamacita

    Here’s the reasoning that Katie Holmes is using: she is insane now, and insane people don’t use logic or reasoning. Seriously, I’ve read up a lot on Scientology and cults in general and once these people are brainwashed, they no longer have any original thoughts or opinions. The whole point of a cult is to make it so that the group is homogenous and the “leader” has a bunch of people to worship him and do whatever the hell he says, up to and including: abandoning marriages and previous children, signing over all money and/or property, cutting yourself off from friends or family that don’t share the views of the cult, engaging in sex with the leader or someone else that the leader designates, etc. If the higher ups in Scientology told Katie to have a kid, she’d do it. Period.

  50. Libraesque

    sherry co you can defend Scientology all you want, although why you would choose to do so on this site is beyond me. Please humor us, enlighten us, tell us how you have been empowered by Scientology, I’m curious, really. Tell us in what way was your life fucked up and now it isn’t because of Scientology, and more importantly, how much has it cost you??? One more thing, can you explain why Scientology felt the need to drastically sway a poll a magazine TRIED to conduct regarding Tom Cruise and Scientology, by using 10 computers at the Celebrity Centere to cast 14,000 votes, hhhmmm, please, really, explain for us

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