Tom Cruise gets BlackBerry update during Primetime

April 18th, 2006 // 100 Comments

Let’s go ahead and just make this official Tom Cruise day. During his Primetime interview with Diane Sawyer, Cruise got a live baby update from Katie Holmes on his BlackBerry. He doesn’t do anything weird, but it’s always fascinating to watch Cruise because you never know what he’ll do next. Pull out his BlackBerry? Kidnap a homeless man? Punch Diane Sawyer in the face? It’s all gold. And it’s never surprising!

Thanks to Diane for the tip, and for having an ironic name.


  1. tits_on_snack

    update on what? i’m not watching this video.

  2. Land-Man

    Now I have a Machine Gun, Ho-Ho-Ho.

  3. ms.magoo

    “Don’t worry Tom I haven’t given birth yet” (*wink* *wink*-it’s not time for MI3 yet)
    -OR- Xenu’s pregnancies last a lot longer than ours.

  4. mamacita

    Eeeeekkk!!!!!!! When he tried to imitate the Katie smile with tongue sticking out, that was just fucking creepy. Almost as creepy as that time when Land-Man tried to hunt me down in Crapville and use his horrible wit to make me commit suicide.

  5. The Blackberry message was actually from the fetus. It reads as follows: Thanks for the gay gene, Dad.

  6. BarbadoSlim

    Nah, that wasn’t Katie. I bet, it was one of his cock buddies setting up a cock date to go and enjoy some cock in one of them cockhouses.

  7. PocketRocket

    Guy’s a total Looney Tune. It gives me the creeps that he cannot wipe that smirk off of his face. He also loves the cock.

  8. And what’s with all the head bobbing? Is that residual muscle memory from going down on Travolta in a “Thetan Release” exercise?

  9. PapaHotNuts

    “The package has been subdued. The medicine has been administered, and the pillow is back in place.”

  10. Jacq

    I bet someone had a pistol in her mouth and she was crying as she was trying to send the message. I also bet that the e-mail contained the words “amazing” “incredible” “absolutely” and “glib”.

    Land-Man, are you sure that you’re not NewGuy? You would have been better off typing “second” and shutting the fuck up.

  11. Evangelia

    ha ha ha ha HA, #5!
    is it just me, or does diane look as disgusted/scared as the rest of us?

  12. em167

    Geez, remember the days when Tom Cruise was a synonym for ‘sexy star that every woman dreamed about’?? Those days are lonnnng gone. What a fucking psycho. With a capital FUCK.

  13. theyareidiots

    He likes it when she sticks her tongue out like that because it looks like a happy little penis.

    This is comforting and pleasing to Tom because …


  14. schoolgluestick

    “She has this thing that she does with her tongue…”


  15. Trotter

    I’ve seen thalidomide babies cuter than KT. Even the ones with flippers for arms who poop themselves and stick their tongues out as a sorry excuse for smiling…

  16. xogirly84


  17. Celetina

    This TOTALLY UNSCRIPTED moment of true love and affection brought to you by BlackBerry. Because when you’re out to convince the world that you don’t really suck cock like a starving 13-year-old Taiwanese girl, only BlackBerry will do!

    …seriously, though. Who believes this is real? Since when is it protocol to “interrupt” like that? It’s not as though her message contained time-sensitive information or anything. What a stupid stunt.

  18. Jacq

    Has anyone seen that Brad Pitt is on the lost of the World’s 100 UNsexiset Men on I figured that I’d throw that in. With all of the crazy things he does, this is likely to become Tom Cruise central.

  19. shell

    That was a total impromtu moment…MY ASS. You have to wonder about people who have to try so hard to show that they are in love. I’m just sayin’….

  20. krisdylee

    Thomas covets and aches for long, thick, pinkish-purple, veiny penii. Up his bum. Sometimes one in is mouth too.

    I kid you not.

  21. uuuhhh. I hate Diane Sawyer almost as much as I hate Oprah. Fake.

  22. mamacita

    uuuhhh. I hate MeganHarris almost as much as I hate Kim. Fake.

  23. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    The message reads:
    “R U going to take the binky out after I make baby spawn it relly hurts my mouth and gives me crazy shark teeth LOL :) plz! And I’m sorry I called my mom and dad 2 tell him I was in labor it wont happen again :) In Xenu’s name Luv, Kates”

  24. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    MeganHarris does for this site what KFC did for the song “Sweet Home Alabama”.

  25. Grphdesi23

    Apparently, he and Katie have lived in a previous life together.

    “I really would have preferred being a brain surgeon or a research scientist in this life.” Cruise, 43, told how he has known and loved his latest fiancee, Dawson’s Creek star Katie Holmes, “many times in many lives before”. He said: “When I was languishing in prison before being sent to exile, she used to send me notes hidden in the collar of her pug dog. She’s my eternal soulmate.”

    Wait until he dumps her ass because of “contract negotiations”. How’s that for an eternal soulmate?

  26. WTF35

    #17 and #19 – I though the exact same thing.

    First, who acts like that?? Tom is not a great actor, and he has never been good at “drama”. He’s not good at pretending to be in love, either.

    The email had “fake” written all over it, too. What a coincidence that he received the email during the interview so he could show it to Diane (and the rest of the world)! By the way, is Katie 13 or 27?

    Fake fake fake.

  27. Okay, I think I’m going to go back to ignoring the fat lesbian peanut gallery, and just ignore their posts. Last thought: I hope you hear “screwed” all the time when it comes out, can’t avoid it! It stays in your head, in your dreams, on your way to work. Everywhere!

  28. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    #27 – Here’s another famous translation:
    “Okay, I think I’m going to go back to licking the fat lesbian anus gallery, and just fingering their vaginas. I hope I hear “screwed!” all the time when it comes out, can’t avoid it! It stays in my head, in my dreams, on my way to work, on my finger, in my sheets. Everywhere!”
    I didn’t hardly touch that last part. MeganHarris, you are a classic!

  29. chiris

    It wasn’t really an interruption, it was while they were changing tapes ?

    I think he was going to say: It drives me crazy that she doesn’t have a cock because I love the cock.

  30. Trotter

    #28 Classic. Yes. Like a classic case of scabies.

  31. tess

    The blackberry stunt was probably orchestrated by his PR team to convince us of Kate’s pregnancy.

  32. krisdylee

    Can scientology cure MeganHarris?

  33. cat

    “I really would have preferred being a brain surgeon or a research scientist in this life.” Cruise, 43, told reporters. “Because then I could take Gross Anatomy and I would get to see lots of wrinkly cocks preserved in formeldahyde. And I could take them home with me. And people under anesthesia would be at my mercy.”


  34. Italian Stallion

    What does she do that drives you crazy?

    When she asks for sex, that just pisses me off, in my mind I’m thinking, sex with a girl? Thats so Heterosexual…ewwwwwwww….everyone knows I love the cock………

  35. cat

    whoops.. what tomcruise really said was “cocks under anesthesia”

  36. not-one-of-you

    ok, “changing tape” but there are still at least two cameras rolling, one behind crazycocklover and one behind the blond tv-newsman-lady…..ok…..and how weird is it that he says “she does this thing with her tongue, I have seen it in pictures” like he does not even live with her? there is no untangling any sense in this, he is beyond fucked-up.

  37. Trotter

    “The thing about Katie that makes me crazy is when she stands in the window with the sun behind her, a halo forms, an aura. She transforms into a gigantic, glistening cock, pulsating, throbbing, dripping a little at the top. Then I take her inside me, all of her, silently. That makes me crazy.”

  38. not-one-of-you

    clearly he has no answer for what she does that bugs him….that alone is enough proof that they are not real, if he said she never flosses her crooked teeth, those cold-sore-herpes infestations are not so attractive, she has un-shiney hair, then at least he would’ve been human, but this nothing, only ‘good crazy’ is just not real. the people i love have things that bug me too, that is life, unless you are in a cult, that is.

  39. Jacq

    Woooh – now we’re, don’t say it… a PEANUT GALLERY. Ouch. Yo’ mama wears combat boots.

  40. mmmBitch


  41. biatcho

    #28: Once in a blue moon does someone make me laugh outloud. PapaHotNuts has done it a few times, LaydeeBug & ManUnited used to, mamacita & trotter, but holy hell, “and just fingering their vaginas”. Maybe it’s all the chitlins & assjuice I’m consuming.
    You brought tears to my eyes in a way only meganharris could understand.

  42. tits_on_snack

    BARF. The fact that he keeps talking about how “cute” and “adorable” and “awww so cutey-wutey widdle girl” she is, compounded with the fact that he is seventeen years older than her, makes me wanna ralph. Fuckin freak.

  43. sherry-co

    Tom Cruise looks like a man who is blissfully in love with a wonderful woman & blissfully happy awaiting the birth of his child. I think all of you are jealous!!

  44. krisdylee

    sherry-co, bend over, i need to shove tom’s blackberry up your ass.

  45. Grphdesi23

    Katie singing to Tom: I need a lover who won’t drive me crazy!

  46. tracyp

    Showbiz just announced she had it—finally.

  47. not-one-of-you

    hey sherry-co, do us a favor and slag the celebs, not yr fellow posters….I am not jealous of a mentally unbalanced egomaniac, really not.

  48. tracyp

    just in time for MI3

  49. Mary45

    …”respect the cock,… tame the cunt”

  50. tits_on_snack

    so… tom’s assistant interupts the interview with a blackberry message that basically says nothing is happening.
    And then Tom joyfully shoves the blackberry screen into everyone’s face, and the camera, to show us that nothing has indeed happened.

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