Tom Cruise arrives at The Late Show with David Letterman

May 3rd, 2006 // 127 Comments

Tom Cruise has fallen so far off the sanity map that the little white thing he’s chewing in his mouth could be his baby’s thumb and nobody would be surprised.


  1. LickyLicky


  2. mmmBitch

    I wonder how it all will end…
    Who’s crazier now? Tom Cruise or Michael Jackson?
    How will dangle their next baby over a balcony? Do you know?

    I like how these guys keep you on your toes.

  3. asmith

    Do we really have to look into this man’s mouth…I don’t want to know what’s in there…for all we know it’s some guys cock ring.

  4. netty

    Actually, it’s a homing beacon.

    He’s been working for Xenu all along.

  5. watcher

    tommy wants a big fat cock to put in his mouth.

  6. Akapee

    What a crazy, cock loving SOB

  7. large_sized_teen

    he looks gay.

  8. LickyLicky

    I was flipping through and saw a bit of it. He was trying to explain how a friend of theirs gave them a baby name book and after only two minutes, they found the fake name that they picked.

    I wonder if their friend thinks they’re crazy, too, and purposely printed up a book of weird baby names that mean creepy or distasteful things in other languages. I bet there was a name in there that means ‘dirty cock’ in Mnubanatuu or something, but says that it really means ‘handsome prince’ in Russian. But then we’d have to change the acronym to:


    which is not really a bad thing…

  9. Jayvee

    It’s actually a healthy cock-sucking device.

    Tom has clearly had a tooth enlarged so it props his mouth up, ready for any cock, any time.

    Tom loves the cock.

  10. morokolli

    Tom Cruise is crazy like a goat

  11. Giggles

    For a man with a 2-week old baby and the world’s most “AMAZING” woman at home (Kate, as she’s officially been taken over by the pod people now), this man is sure out and about (but still not out).

    He’s already gone to London to promote his movie and now he’s in New York. I’m sure “Kate” is quite supportive of all of this.


  12. krisdylee

    I wish it were a super-spy cyanide pill that he could bite down on and die….

  13. sweetcheeks

    He stole those sunglasses from a Jewish mobster.

  14. silly girl

    i think it’s a bit of man juice right there. maybe it’s just me.

  15. Italian Stallion

    I can’t wait to see “Mission Impossible 3″ on friday, it’s gonna be fucking awesome!!!!

  16. ohnoudint

    I almost ashamed to admit I actually watched TC’s interview, but I wish I had started counting how many times both he and Letterman used the word “crazy”…it had to be at least 20! Maybe the phrase should be changed to CTCIMCFC (Crazy Tom Cruise Is Mad Crazy For Cock). Maybe not, too many letters for me to remember…

  17. asmith

    I wish everyone would just boycott the movie! That would be AWESOME! I hope it TANKS! I will not be purchasing movie tickets for this or any future TC movie…he irritated me THAT much!

  18. lolalick

    Baby’s thumb?? Nooooooo…that’s just some placenta that was leftover!! Haven’t you ever heard of Ziploc Freezer Bags??

  19. Fisher55

    *vomits* Has anyone ever noticed that his teeth are aligned strangely–he has a tooth directly in the middle of his mouth. gross

  20. Dr.Rokter

    Brokeback Spaceship.

  21. 86

    Is that a leather member’s only jacket?

  22. Akapee

    #15 Like I said yesterday, you and Tom are such good buddies becos you both love sucking on the shlong like lollipops.

    PS: subconsciously #15 wants to be known as dick fanatic that is why he picked the name Italian Stallion…..

  23. krisdylee

    Fuck off Akapee.

  24. 86

    I still remember the good ole days, Tom. Your floor-sliding, cocktail-slingin’, MiG-fighting, Righteous-Brother-singing days of glory. Those glorious, glorious days in the 80′s. Why God why do you have to worship Zenu?!!

    This feeling can only be compared to the feeling I get when I hear “Thriller” or “Rock with You”.

    Why do the good ones have to go insane?????

  25. watcher


  26. Junebug

    Tom looks like Johnny Depp in Fear & Loathing in Los Vegas, except that Johnny Depp is cute, and talented, and clean, and hetero.

  27. Italian Stallion

    #22 Wow, once again the funniest shit to date, I see your still suffering from Stupid Fucking Comeback Syndrome, stick to your lame ass comments…….

    Trust me when I say you can’t fuck with me asshole…….

    Krisdylee, thank you, you rock….

  28. Cruise is a looking a little run down these days. Oh well, any cuteness would still be outweighed by his insanity.

  29. Proteon

    #2 I think it has almost ended already. He’s jumped the couch and historically after a celebrity has given their new baby a dumb name, we tend to stop giving a crap.

  30. Italian Stallion

    #22 By the way FUCK Mission Impossible 3 and any other movie that cum guzzler comes out with, I was being sarcastic in post #15, anybody who knows me on here can figure that out………

  31. ksted

    Tom Cruise is starting to look *exactly* like Richie from the Royal Tennenbaums. All he needs is a sweatband.

  32. jenny4a20

    That thing in his mouth is placenta gristle..I just cant stand him!!!!

  33. I recently found a picture of him arriving at the late show too, but for some reason hes wearing different clothing.

    Although, I think this picture is funnier, I just wonder if its from the same day like I was told when I received the picture.

  34. PapaHotNuts

    I know exactly what’s in his mouth, but I ain’t tellin’. But I can tell you this, it rhymes with “sperm”. Or “cum”.

  35. Jacq

    Where is his aluminum foil hat? Lunatic.
    I think they sell those sunglasses at Froever21.

    Akapee – don’t talk shit to Stallion. You’ve been warned. Are you, by any chance, Aka-asparagus-pee?

  36. Fisher55

    he’s starting to look like freddie mercury, only if freddie had a tooth directly in the middle of his mouth

  37. M@ce

    Way to rock those Blue Blockers Tom. My grandfather has the same pair.

    Megan Harris loves the box (MHLTB)

  38. krisdylee

    Did you all hear how fucking hot I am?

  39. Krisdy, I’ve seen how fucking hot you are. In fact I’m looking right now. Erm, I mean that’s someone else outside in the bushes.

  40. pinky_nip

    Tom Cruise is so gay, I’m surprised he doesn’t have “insert cock here” on his chin with an arrow pointing upward.

  41. pinky_nip

    @1: LickyLicky: you’re on such a roll today, you should consider changing your handle to LickitySplit.

  42. prettierthanmeganharris

    We haven’t seen Katie Holmes since the birth of Suri, because she was immediately wheeled into surgery for her sex change operation. Tom will really be loving the cock soon enough and still think he’s fooling everyone.

  43. BoardBetty

    #36 – He may be starting to look like Freddy Mercury, but he ain’t “out” like Mercury.

    How much time has this new father spent at home with his new baby. An hour? A day even? Freaking wierd!!!

  44. Fisher55

    43, but with any luck he’ll soon be *a corpse* like Mercury

  45. His shtick is wearing thin. He’s like a gay Robin Williams, always on. Even in the photo you can see he’s in “crowd fans are awesome” mode. That, or he’s sizing up Kobe Bryant for a mouthfuck.

  46. UCSD

    Elton John has lost weight.

  47. gsprescueguy

    I think he is chewing the new gum for closet queens……SPUNKGUM.

    What freakin’ 70′s flashback homo. Does he think that 54 is still open or what?

  48. BarbadoSlim

    Fake wife..check
    Insane look..check
    Homo looking 70′s Carrera type shades..CHECK!!
    Love’o cock…that goes without sayin’.

  49. Vas Deferens

    It seems to me that Tom Cruise is trying to “channel” his success from the 1980′s. I mean, what is with those Sam Rothstein sunglasses? And is it just me, or is he wearing a Member’s Only jacket?

    Nicole Kidman is the luckiest woman alive to get out of that mess.

    Xenu loves the cock.

  50. Camusa

    He looks like Hunter S. Thompson (or at least Johnny Depp’s portrayal).
    Peyote and Desert living would explain a lot of his behavior no?

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