Tom Cruise arrives at The Late Show with David Letterman

May 3rd, 2006 // 127 Comments
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Tom Cruise has fallen so far off the sanity map that the little white thing he’s chewing in his mouth could be his baby’s thumb and nobody would be surprised.

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Comments (127)

  1. LickyLicky | May 3, 2006 at 9:46 am

    FIRST???!!!

    Reply
  2. mmmBitch | May 3, 2006 at 9:47 am

    I wonder how it all will end…
    Who’s crazier now? Tom Cruise or Michael Jackson?
    How will dangle their next baby over a balcony? Do you know?

    I like how these guys keep you on your toes.

    Reply
  3. asmith | May 3, 2006 at 9:47 am

    Do we really have to look into this man’s mouth…I don’t want to know what’s in there…for all we know it’s some guys cock ring.

    Reply
  4. netty | May 3, 2006 at 9:47 am

    Actually, it’s a homing beacon.

    He’s been working for Xenu all along.

    Reply
  5. watcher | May 3, 2006 at 9:47 am

    tommy wants a big fat cock to put in his mouth.

    Reply
  6. Akapee | May 3, 2006 at 9:48 am

    What a crazy, cock loving SOB

    Reply
  7. large_sized_teen | May 3, 2006 at 9:53 am

    he looks gay.

    Reply
  8. LickyLicky | May 3, 2006 at 9:53 am

    I was flipping through and saw a bit of it. He was trying to explain how a friend of theirs gave them a baby name book and after only two minutes, they found the fake name that they picked.

    I wonder if their friend thinks they’re crazy, too, and purposely printed up a book of weird baby names that mean creepy or distasteful things in other languages. I bet there was a name in there that means ‘dirty cock’ in Mnubanatuu or something, but says that it really means ‘handsome prince’ in Russian. But then we’d have to change the acronym to:

    TCLTDC

    which is not really a bad thing…

    Reply
  9. Jayvee | May 3, 2006 at 9:54 am

    It’s actually a healthy cock-sucking device.

    Tom has clearly had a tooth enlarged so it props his mouth up, ready for any cock, any time.

    Tom loves the cock.

    Reply
  10. morokolli | May 3, 2006 at 9:54 am

    Tom Cruise is crazy like a goat

    Reply
  11. Giggles | May 3, 2006 at 9:59 am

    For a man with a 2-week old baby and the world’s most “AMAZING” woman at home (Kate, as she’s officially been taken over by the pod people now), this man is sure out and about (but still not out).

    He’s already gone to London to promote his movie and now he’s in New York. I’m sure “Kate” is quite supportive of all of this.

    WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

    Reply
  12. krisdylee | May 3, 2006 at 9:59 am

    I wish it were a super-spy cyanide pill that he could bite down on and die….

    Reply
  13. sweetcheeks | May 3, 2006 at 10:00 am

    He stole those sunglasses from a Jewish mobster.

    Reply
  14. silly girl | May 3, 2006 at 10:01 am

    i think it’s a bit of man juice right there. maybe it’s just me.

    Reply
  15. Italian Stallion | May 3, 2006 at 10:04 am

    I can’t wait to see “Mission Impossible 3″ on friday, it’s gonna be fucking awesome!!!!

    Reply
  16. ohnoudint | May 3, 2006 at 10:04 am

    I almost ashamed to admit I actually watched TC’s interview, but I wish I had started counting how many times both he and Letterman used the word “crazy”…it had to be at least 20! Maybe the phrase should be changed to CTCIMCFC (Crazy Tom Cruise Is Mad Crazy For Cock). Maybe not, too many letters for me to remember…

    Reply
  17. asmith | May 3, 2006 at 10:14 am

    I wish everyone would just boycott the movie! That would be AWESOME! I hope it TANKS! I will not be purchasing movie tickets for this or any future TC movie…he irritated me THAT much!

    Reply
  18. lolalick | May 3, 2006 at 10:15 am

    Baby’s thumb?? Nooooooo…that’s just some placenta that was leftover!! Haven’t you ever heard of Ziploc Freezer Bags??

    Reply
  19. Fisher55 | May 3, 2006 at 10:15 am

    *vomits* Has anyone ever noticed that his teeth are aligned strangely–he has a tooth directly in the middle of his mouth. gross

    Reply
  20. Dr.Rokter | May 3, 2006 at 10:19 am

    Brokeback Spaceship.

    Reply
  21. 86 | May 3, 2006 at 10:20 am

    Is that a leather member’s only jacket?

    Reply
  22. Akapee | May 3, 2006 at 10:22 am

    #15 Like I said yesterday, you and Tom are such good buddies becos you both love sucking on the shlong like lollipops.

    PS: subconsciously #15 wants to be known as dick fanatic that is why he picked the name Italian Stallion…..

    Reply
  23. krisdylee | May 3, 2006 at 10:24 am

    Fuck off Akapee.

    Reply
  24. 86 | May 3, 2006 at 10:25 am

    I still remember the good ole days, Tom. Your floor-sliding, cocktail-slingin’, MiG-fighting, Righteous-Brother-singing days of glory. Those glorious, glorious days in the 80′s. Why God why do you have to worship Zenu?!!

    This feeling can only be compared to the feeling I get when I hear “Thriller” or “Rock with You”.

    Why do the good ones have to go insane?????

    Reply
  25. watcher | May 3, 2006 at 10:27 am

    “SHOW ME THE COCK”

    Reply
  26. Junebug | May 3, 2006 at 10:29 am

    Tom looks like Johnny Depp in Fear & Loathing in Los Vegas, except that Johnny Depp is cute, and talented, and clean, and hetero.

    Reply
  27. Italian Stallion | May 3, 2006 at 10:30 am

    #22 Wow, once again the funniest shit to date, I see your still suffering from Stupid Fucking Comeback Syndrome, stick to your lame ass comments…….

    Trust me when I say you can’t fuck with me asshole…….

    Krisdylee, thank you, you rock….

    Reply
  28. sharkbite | May 3, 2006 at 10:31 am

    Cruise is a looking a little run down these days. Oh well, any cuteness would still be outweighed by his insanity.

    Reply
  29. Proteon | May 3, 2006 at 10:33 am

    #2 I think it has almost ended already. He’s jumped the couch and historically after a celebrity has given their new baby a dumb name, we tend to stop giving a crap.

    Reply
  30. Italian Stallion | May 3, 2006 at 10:33 am

    #22 By the way FUCK Mission Impossible 3 and any other movie that cum guzzler comes out with, I was being sarcastic in post #15, anybody who knows me on here can figure that out………

    Reply
  31. ksted | May 3, 2006 at 10:39 am

    Tom Cruise is starting to look *exactly* like Richie from the Royal Tennenbaums. All he needs is a sweatband.

    Reply
  32. jenny4a20 | May 3, 2006 at 10:41 am

    That thing in his mouth is placenta gristle..I just cant stand him!!!!

    Reply
  33. Derek Hail | May 3, 2006 at 10:43 am

    I recently found a picture of him arriving at the late show too, but for some reason hes wearing different clothing.

    http://www.derekhail.com/2006/05/03/tom-cruise-arrives-at-the-late-show-with-david-letterman/

    Although, I think this picture is funnier, I just wonder if its from the same day like I was told when I received the picture.

    Reply
  34. PapaHotNuts | May 3, 2006 at 10:47 am

    I know exactly what’s in his mouth, but I ain’t tellin’. But I can tell you this, it rhymes with “sperm”. Or “cum”.

    Reply
  35. Jacq | May 3, 2006 at 10:52 am

    Where is his aluminum foil hat? Lunatic.
    I think they sell those sunglasses at Froever21.

    Akapee – don’t talk shit to Stallion. You’ve been warned. Are you, by any chance, Aka-asparagus-pee?

    Reply
  36. Fisher55 | May 3, 2006 at 10:53 am

    he’s starting to look like freddie mercury, only if freddie had a tooth directly in the middle of his mouth

    Reply
  37. M@ce | May 3, 2006 at 10:59 am

    Way to rock those Blue Blockers Tom. My grandfather has the same pair.

    Megan Harris loves the box (MHLTB)

    Reply
  38. krisdylee | May 3, 2006 at 11:16 am

    Did you all hear how fucking hot I am?

    Reply
  39. Gerald Tarrant | May 3, 2006 at 11:28 am

    Krisdy, I’ve seen how fucking hot you are. In fact I’m looking right now. Erm, I mean that’s someone else outside in the bushes.

    Reply
  40. pinky_nip | May 3, 2006 at 11:28 am

    Tom Cruise is so gay, I’m surprised he doesn’t have “insert cock here” on his chin with an arrow pointing upward.

    Reply
  41. pinky_nip | May 3, 2006 at 11:30 am

    @1: LickyLicky: you’re on such a roll today, you should consider changing your handle to LickitySplit.

    Reply
  42. prettierthanmeganharris | May 3, 2006 at 11:30 am

    We haven’t seen Katie Holmes since the birth of Suri, because she was immediately wheeled into surgery for her sex change operation. Tom will really be loving the cock soon enough and still think he’s fooling everyone.

    Reply
  43. BoardBetty | May 3, 2006 at 11:38 am

    #36 – He may be starting to look like Freddy Mercury, but he ain’t “out” like Mercury.

    How much time has this new father spent at home with his new baby. An hour? A day even? Freaking wierd!!!

    Reply
  44. Fisher55 | May 3, 2006 at 11:45 am

    43, but with any luck he’ll soon be *a corpse* like Mercury

    Reply
  45. UNWASHEDMASSES | May 3, 2006 at 11:50 am

    His shtick is wearing thin. He’s like a gay Robin Williams, always on. Even in the photo you can see he’s in “crowd fans are awesome” mode. That, or he’s sizing up Kobe Bryant for a mouthfuck.

    Reply
  46. UCSD | May 3, 2006 at 12:03 pm

    Elton John has lost weight.

    Reply
  47. gsprescueguy | May 3, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    I think he is chewing the new gum for closet queens……SPUNKGUM.

    What freakin’ 70′s flashback homo. Does he think that 54 is still open or what?

    Reply
  48. BarbadoSlim | May 3, 2006 at 12:08 pm

    Fake wife..check
    Insane look..check
    Homo looking 70′s Carrera type shades..CHECK!!
    Love’o cock…that goes without sayin’.

    Reply
  49. Vas Deferens | May 3, 2006 at 12:10 pm

    It seems to me that Tom Cruise is trying to “channel” his success from the 1980′s. I mean, what is with those Sam Rothstein sunglasses? And is it just me, or is he wearing a Member’s Only jacket?

    Nicole Kidman is the luckiest woman alive to get out of that mess.

    Xenu loves the cock.

    Reply
  50. Camusa | May 3, 2006 at 12:12 pm

    He looks like Hunter S. Thompson (or at least Johnny Depp’s portrayal).
    Peyote and Desert living would explain a lot of his behavior no?

    Reply

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