Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to wed in summer

April 4th, 2006 // 65 Comments

cruise-holmes-summer-wed.jpgTom Cruise told Germany’s leading tabloid Bild yesterday that he plans to marry Katie Holmes in the summer after she gives birth to their baby and the release of his movie Mission Impossible III.

superficial

  1. Zed

    #42 Thanks, SpinDoc. I feel better!

    Let’s make sure Star Jones–Scientologist or not–is on that starship to HubbardWorld along with Tom and the others. She needs to be “cleared.”

  2. popcornsuite

    Agreeing with what others have said:

    “I won

  3. MizScarlett

    OK, I’ve got it. Tom continually refers to Katie as a “woman” to divert attention from the fact that he’s dating a little baby girl just over half his age. (I’m talking human years here; sorry, I don’t know how old they are in the Xenu time-space continuum.)

    Or perhaps Tomboy’s just trying to convince himSELF that he’s not just an runty, aging queen in a Beatles wig. (Due props to #22).

  4. Libraesque

    HEY! does anyone have that site, or the info on that period of time Katie Holmes supposedly disappeared for 10 days or something like that????????

  5. Yes yes, baby, then film, then marriage, then SACRIFICE TO LORD XENU!

  6. kazanski13

    I hope they have a surgeon to sew katie up when that alien demon seed rips through her stomach.

  7. Pez_D_Spencer

    Cruise doesn’t need pilots standing by. He’s a friggin’ pilot himself. Well, I guess one of the two could be Travolta, and they could go play swallow the gherkin while some other poor slob has to fly them home. Here’s hoping the unlucky guy just kamikazes all three of them into the Atlantic.

  8. Isn’t she EVER going to have that baby??? He still reminds me of a chipmunk.

  9. maryaries

    The Missing 16 Days. Mwah ah ah (save Katie!)
    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,160192,00.html

  10. LaPrincesse

    Freaky article. It took just 16 days for her to get brainwashed?

  11. tom cruise and aliens and katie’s robit smile whatha match. Oh CONGRADULATIONS!
    On tomkat
    the wedding
    your love
    your happy
    and it shows!

  12. ning_ning

    Tom is Brokeback Mountain!!!

  13. heifferzzz

    So what were you saying #9? Oh, ‘MANLOVE< GAY< COCK!’ Word, i agree with you on that!

  14. TheRuckus

    Could be the movie, could be the baby.

    I’m guessing he is waiting for his current wife Nicole to get the annulment, then a quick stop to return their kids to the prop department at Universal Studios.

  15. gogoboots

    They’re getting married on the planet Zoron this summer? How what a quaint ceremony it will be for the Zoronians…afterwards she will make a great human sacrifice and the baby will be the new emperor! Yeahino!

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