A publicist for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes has come out to deny reports that they’ve split, saying in a statement: “It should be known that the story is 100 percent false. Mr. Cruise and Ms. Holmes are still engaged and are moving forward with their wedding plans, as well as planning for the arrival of their child. Despite the malicious fallacies put forth by Life & Style magazine, the couple is looking forward to a long and happy life together as a family.”
This is exactly what Life & Style said they would do. Deny that they’ve broken up and keep the charade going until Katie gives birth in the spring. The only way we’ll know for sure is if I dress up as a ninja and break into their home to see if they’re sleeping in seperate beds. And before you ask why I have to dress up like a ninja, a better question would be why am I already dressed up like a ninja. The answer? I don’t know.
I LOVE the smell of gasoline.
I’m still waiting for news that authorities have found the remaints of the empty pod sitting alongside Katie’s shriveled original body.
Well, I for one am relieved. Now I don’t have to return the wedding gift that I got for Kate (that’s what Tom and I call her). Because it might be a little bit difficult to return a slap on the side of the head and a “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!?!?!?”
I see a remake in the making of “Silence of the Lambs” staring Tom Cruise and featuring Katie Holmes. He would never allow her to be top billing next to him, she is only good enough to carry his demon seed.
We heard this countless times about Nick & Jessica and Jen & Brad it is only a matter of time before Katie’s anti-depressants kick in that she secretly got from Brooke Shields.
Man, something needs to go down. Besides – Katie probably did have a crush on Tom when she was a little girl, and finally snagged him as an adult. What I would have gave to one day snag MegaMan!! But of course he would never turn out to be what I imagined …
memichelle77 I am glad to see you have decided to join us. : )
ESQ, you sound like a cult, or a scientologist!! Everyone beware!!
TomKat? Stop using that. You are falling into his trap. Everytime someone uses the term “TomKat”, one of Katie’s brain cells die. This is how she got pregnant in the first place. She had 12 brain cells left and although she agreed to marry him, that 12th brain cell told her not to get knocked up.
Well, Tom called his publicist and told her (I think it was his sister at that time) to get a story out. Didn’t matter the subject. So, they put out some scientology story and some magazine had to use “TomKat” so then the 12th brain cell in Katie’s head died and Tom was able to plant his seed. It’s all part of Tom’s plan, don’t you see. So stop using “TomKat”. Because soon, Katie will have no brain function left and we can’t have that. We want to make sure she continue’s to wear proper clothing and pedicure her long monkey toes.
Oops, how many times did I use “TomKat”? Let’s see: 11 minus 5 – no 6 = not looking good for Katie.
Aw, Camille you just did her in. Katie is Doomed….
How do you guys come up with these strange explanations of Cruise’s insanity and Holmes’ stupidity? Strange …
we are a very creative bunch…with a LOT of time on our hands and nothing better to do at work than fantasize about TomKat’s demise…
I saw a sneak preview for Mission Impossible 3 and it was just 120 minutes of Tom and Katie sitting in their living room in total silence. Every now and then Katie would put her magazine down and look over at Tom and shake her head. Finally, Katie got up in minute 119 and called Tom a “Faggot” and Tom called her a “Dunb Human” and they stormed off into different bedrooms. It was good flick.
PRAISE XENU!
He was merely testing up. Katie is a worthy vessel and an Operating Thetan.
Dumb Human–my bad
Nikk, are you a Kinight, a Mason or of the TRES?
PAPA, can you get a bootleg of that?
If you look in the mirror and say “TomKat” 5 times they will appear before you and engage in what Tom likes to call a “spiritual audit”. This is where he probes Katie with his “spiritual auditing machine”. After 2O minutes the catatonic Katie will birth an Oscar award. This makes Tom smile. It will probably make you vomit.
Me thinks someone needs to put their hands up, and step AWAY from the Superficial website once in a while. Seriously. There should be a limit on how many times you can post per story. As in, less then 10.
So here’s the burning question… If they are really on the outs when she gives birth, do you think she’ll follow all the crazy birthing rules Scientology has cooked up?
Will she scream during labor (I know I sure did!)?
Will she be able to speak to the baby during the first week (even if it’s just to say, “Poor thing, you got daddy’s nose.”)? I wonder…. hmmmm…..
I know this’ll sound lame (one of those “I know someone who knows someone” stories), but a friend of a friend of mine was at restaurant years ago when Tom & Nicole were still together and witnessed Nicole throwing her napkin at Tom, storming over to the Maitre’d and saying “I’ll take the check, he’ll take the waiter”. Tom is so gay. I’ve decided to believe everything I read (about celebrity break-ups atleast) in the tabloids because they ALWAYS turn out to be true. They’re so breaking up.
#67 PKClover who are you talking about? Everyone seems so fuuny. I am new here, so fill me in on the rules.
The entire rRelationship was nothing more then an “amazing” agreement. She broke an engagement for the front. Why are they not married now? If it were real, wouldn’t they get married when they found out she was Prego? Obviously Katie was using protection with her fiance. Why stop using it the very month you meet Tom Cruise? Duh. Tom actually went seeking her out, and called her in for a meeting. Needed a young one. I’m sure Katie made millions on the deal. She is financially set for the rest of her life. There is always some kind of truth to these so called rumors. Just like Brad and Jen. Someone close to them cannot resist leaking information. From the very beginning the public could see that there was something not quite right about this relationship..
In response to #57 “Layla” – And you are? You must be new here.
Gee (scratching head) I post a lot.
Hmmm.
I wonder if the “Me” in Methinks could be moi. Again…Hmmmm.
by the way – what the hell is “Life & Style” magazine? Lifestyle is one word. I’m starting a new magazine called “Pe & ople”. It’s going to be sweet.
:::writing LaydeeBug a citation:::
I’m still appalled that she has been widely reported as 4th choice to carry the sperminator’s spawn, AND SHE STILL DID IT. Her only saving grace right now is for her to come out and admit she has a more intimate relationship with the turkey baster used to impregnate her than she ever has had with Tom.
I’m still appalled that she has been widely reported as 4th choice to carry the sperminator’s spawn, AND SHE STILL DID IT. Her only saving grace right now is for her to come out and admit she has a more intimate relationship with the turkey baster used to impregnate her than she ever has had with Tom.
Yeah I agree debs, any cred she may have had pre-Cruise has now well and truly dried up. She’d HAVE to sell her story to redeem herself… hopefully Oprah can talk her around! Is it true Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansen were on Tom’s list-o-babes? Eewww, he’s SO creepy.
#78 If you believe the rumors, then yes. Both Scarlett and Jessica were on the list. And HollyJ? Good call on the Katie clone thing. Because there is just no other explanation for her behavior.
for a couple that’s truly madly deeply in love, it’s funny how you never see them going out on any romantic dates. all she gets to do is watch his kids play sports. and go ice-skating at midnite. i dunno who’s the bigger fool — Katie or Katie.
I really don’t want to make a comment until I find out what Pink has to say about the whole thing.
#80 – yeah, if I were her age, why would I even want to try to be a mom to someone else’s kids? it’s time to enjoy life, not a bunch of boring baseball games, etc., looking like a 40-yr old married woman.
btw, one day Katie’s neck won’t be able to get out of that pose.
The best part of the story was that Katie and the baby would live together in a house near Tom’s. Does anyone think she will walk out of that house with her baby? His other two are already homeschooled by his scientologist sisters, who all live in his mansion (commune). Katie’s (Rosemary’s) baby’s fate has already been foretold….and it doesn’t involve life with my single mom!
Marcee, you’re scaring me ‘cuz it could happen. OJ got away with it.
PKClover, the check’s in the mail (encloses citation)
Hey, you spelled separate wrong.
# 83, you are so right. I don’t think Nicole ever gets to see those kids. Scientologists basically hand over their kids when they turn 11 to go away to some special scientology school to learn more about the scientology ways. And everything is super expensive. I think to get where Tom is you will have given them about $300,000.00. There was a huge article in the local paper about them. And they claim they aren’t a cult. HAHAHAHA!!!!! That poor kid is doomed.
Man, if only this were true, however, I think Katie’s been lobotimized by some secret Scientology sect, then Tom’s sperm was taken out of him in order to artificially inseminate her. Through all this, I thought Tom’s sperm was defunct or however you call it when sperm doesn’t work, that’s why Nicole Kidman couldn’t get preggers. Anyway, just something I heard eons ago.
Tom Cruise ate soup IMMEDIATELY BEFORE the couch incident on Oprah!!! I don’t know how Katie can put up with him and his strange outbursts…when will it all end?