Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes really are getting married

November 17th, 2006 // 64 Comments

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are set to wed tomorrow at Odescalchi Castle in Bracciano, Italy. And because of all the attention they’ve brought to the town the mayor waived the $50,000 fee to use the facility. Additionally, Tom Cruise’s ex Nicole Kidman sent Tom and Katie a wedding present with a note that “wished them both a lifetime of happiness together.”

I wonder when they’ll announce the color of the fake spaceship they’ve got set up for their big entrance. Or how long the laser show is gonna last. There’s still so much we don’t know!


  1. #49 – My first fake posting.

    Wow, I am so honored! So many people to thanks.

    #36 – Don’t hate the player, hate the game (or better yet, hate those two ugly fucks you call parents.) I wouldn’t wipe my ass with you. Oh wait, I just did.

  2. Grope For Luna

    #12, yes you are showing your age. Now go pick up your thalidomide from the apothecary.

  3. frenchtoaststix

    Yes, babies look like their fathers at first so in olden times the caveman dad wouldn’t beat its head in with a club but recognize it as his own. However, this baby looks like a She-Bot cobbled together in some Scientology laboratory to approximate what Cruise splooge would produce. That baby toupee is too fucking funny. I do want to see the dress, though. I wonder how much the divorce will cost?

  4. ponk

    LMAO @ 48. it really does look like that.

  5. I wonder how long it will be until they sacrifice their kid (Suri: Sacrificial Underling Rewarding Insanity) to their ape-tossing-bat-shit crazy religion.

  6. xx.deathcab.xx

    Fuck it, man, I’m not kidding.. Suri Cruise is the female equivalent of the little dead boy in The Grudge. He’s a bit more pale than her, but other than that the resemblance is amazing..

  7. sezhoo

    Most babies, genetically, look strikingly like their father’s for the first 6 months.

    Funny, neither of mine looked anything like their daddy, they both looked exactly like me.

    Anywho, Suri’s cute. She doesn’t look like either Tom or Katie, though.

  8. the baby looks like her mom

    congrats Tom&Kate

  9. paris's_assassin

    hey!!!!someone wanna tell me wot tha fuck’s going on ? that kid looks exactly like Katie but there is no way she was really ever pregnant so …. the plot thickens.

    where the hell did they obtain this lookalike kid from ??? maybe they used a surrogate or maybe it is the child of one of her siblings…but there is no way a demon like tc could ever interbreed with a human. hmmm…i want an answer dammit!!!
    ….no doubt the truth is stranger than fiction.TCLTC.

  10. evelyn

    i thought the same. that baby looks asian. either there was a switch, or katie is a whore. i choose to believe the latter.
    also who gives a rats ass about their wedding? they’re not royalty. and for that matter, who gives a shit about royal weddings either?

  11. Very cute, the baby looks just like Katie!

  12. She looks scared…

  13. She should! And after that she should go on some Greek island cruises. I totally disagree with the way Tom Cruise sees life and I don’t think that he could offer the suitable environment to his children.

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