Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes get a prenup

May 3rd, 2006 // 141 Comments

holmes-cruise-prenup.jpgThe Daily Mail reports Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are now ready to marry in July, after signing a $40 million prenup which they’ve been working on for the past few weeks. A $15 million trust has been set up for Katie and her baby regardless of whether she marries Tom, but if they do marry and later divorce, Katie will receive an extra $25 million from him. A source says:

“Katie’s family have always been very sceptical about their romance. They were shocked that Katie got pregnant so quickly and didn’t like the way she had turned her back on Catholicism for Scientology. But now this deal has been sorted out they are at least relieved that Katie and her baby will be financially secure for life, even if she doesn’t marry Tom.”

Either this is the most elaborate publicity stunt ever attempted, or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are actually getting married. I only give it a couple months though. You’d be surprised how hard it is to maintain a marriage when the wife is locked in the basement and the husband spends all his time at gay bathhouses.



  1. Kweef

    Im sure when the real Katie is unfrozen from the cryogenic pod Tom Cruise has her in we will get the whole story about how he stole her uterus. That is if there really is a baby, since he is such a media whore I figured he would be passing out placenta finger sandwiches at the MI premier.

  2. tarjamarja

    #82. I was just thinking about the same thing. How much did Katie get from Batman Begings? Surely nowhere near

  3. tarjamarja

    Okay, $40 million and not

  4. TreacleTart

    Lol! MeganHarris, you ugly pig, YOU are the last person to talk about someone else’s intelligence.
    Oh darlin’, you don’t even know the difference between your and you’re. Isn’t that something most people learn in primary school?
    Since my IQ has been tested at 155, I’m WAY more intelligent than you, sherry-co and lambananas.
    I’m not computer literate, I’m sure I already announced that, you dummy? But I’m not an office worker. I’m a songwriter, I don’t need to be.

    As for my looks, I’m a Beyonce brown (shade), 5ft 3, 34E-23-34 (HUGE, firm, natural breasts, tiny waist, nice round ass).
    I’m not superstar beautiful, but I certainly am very pretty and have no shortage of admirers… from known Artists to mechanics.
    If I knew how to post a pic of myself, I probably would.

    The fact still remains that YOU, MeganHarris, are ugly. This comment can’t be a surprise to you? You can’t get to your age and not know how dowdy you are?

    Look at the Anna Nicole Smith thread, no.43 if you want to see what this munter looks like, people.
    then scroll down until you see her pale, haggard looking face.

    MHIHM = MeganHarris is hideously minging

  5. MissAppropriated

    sherry-co, the reason they have a pre-nup is because they both know they have a snowballs chance in hell of lasting more than two years. Especially when Katie gets pissed with Tom Cruising for Cock TLTC

  6. Moriarty

    Tom Cruise is the cock

  7. CancerNipples

    This isn’t surprising at all. In fact, it’s hardly newsworthy.
    He has like a bajillion dollars, he’d be an idiot not to get a pre-nup, sham marraige or not.

  8. Domino

    i got confused around the 40 comment mark.

  9. prettierthanmeganharris

    @104 a bit venomous don’t you think? If you are as intelligent and pretty as you say you are then don’t sweat it. You don’t have to get that nasty. Honestly, Megan isn’t ugly. I was just messing with her. No hard feelings Megan.

  10. isegoria

    Treacle, STFU.
    Who the fuck cares what Megan Harris looks like. She’s a lot better looking than your easily phoney description of yourself. And btw, as firm as your 34E breasts are right now, they won’t be that way for very long ;)

    Get a fucking life.

  11. sweetcheeks

    Strangely, I LIKE TreacleTart. Because she’s British. You probably didn’t realize that — go back and read her comment again, only this time with a British accent. Much better, isn’t it?

    I love England. AND it’s soul-less paparazzi. Long live the motherland!

  12. sweetcheeks

    MeganHarris IS ugly. She looks like a street urchin from the Broadway production of “A Christmas Carol.” All she needs are some fingerless gloves and a tattered brown jacket — she can keep that expression on her face.

    “Crust of bread, sir, please? Aw, God bless ye!”

  13. missscoobie

    I hope the gives her parents some peace. Those poor people, imagine having your spawn infected by the drippy ooze that is the Cruise.
    tom loves the cock and tom is the cock.

  14. CancerNipples

    sweetcheeks your opinion doesn’t count because you think you’re hotter than Scarlet Johanssen and you’re in reality a fat goblin.

  15. CancerNipples

    I think it’s so gay how you superfish groupies fag up every news post on this site with your pathetic little in-fighting.

    God, you’re all ugly. It’s one thing to diss on the celebrities, but to waste your time fighting with other posters?

    You people really need a life.

  16. sweetcheeks

    YOU’RE fagging it up with YOUR pathetic little in-fighting, Cancer!! Jesus Christ, how much can be said about Tom Cruise’s pre-nup? It’s all in fun. Nobody is taking it so personally. Go hang out with MeganHarris or lambananas (who several people believe is actually you anyway).

    And, fuckface, that picture was a fat girl. It’s from the movie “Fat Girl”. Everyone else seemed to get it but you. It’s like explaining a joke to the retarded kid. The don’t really get it, only vaguely smile and nod their head.

    See? It’s from a movie. Only tools like MeganHarris would actually put your real picture on the net. If you’re so fucking hot, let’s see it!! Fag up this thread some more!!

  17. sweetcheeks

    God I hate you.

  18. bjpack

    I think MeganHarris is cute and don’t really understand the hatred. Why can’t we all just get along?

  19. CancerNipples

    sweetcheeks, if it’s all in fun, why do you troll me in every post and talk shit about me?

    Is it because you’re fat and ugly and I’m one of the few with the balls to call you out for it?

    Is it because I’m the ONLY one here with the commons sense to realize how pathetic it is to get into little cat-fights with each other because one poster is more “witty” than another?

    Stop fucking stalking me from post to post, you hambeast.

    Oh, and I have no idea who MeganHarris is. I don’t post here to win friends or whatever.

    Like I have said a million times, you people take this site WAY too seriously, and sweetcheeks is a prime example.

  20. sweetcheeks

    No hatred, bj — Megan Harris could totally get some part time work in musicals. I was just mentioning in case she was looking for a job.

    Oh, and she kinda looks like that scary ghost in the American Haunting trailer up here. She could do that, too. Endless opportunities, really.

  21. CancerNipples

    Sweetcheeks how hypocritical of you to pull the “if you’re so hot” garbage.

    YOU are the one who comes into every post about a hot celebrity bitching about how they are ugly and fat and how you look so much better in your velvet bikini.

    What a hypocrite. I never claim to be hotter than any of these ho’s, unlike yourself.

    Stop grasping at straws and go back to what you do best, cum dumpster

  22. sweetcheeks

    I was on this thread BEFORE you, Nips! Check the time. And, once again, you’re fagging it up.

  23. sweetcheeks

    Bleh, I’m sick of you. I’m going to visit Britney.

    I know you don’t come here to make friends. Nobody else likes you, either. Mission accomplished, Nips.

    “Cum dumpster!” It’s like engaging Hemingway in a war of words. You’ve tired my brain.

  24. tinkerbelle

    #70 – me luv u!

  25. CancerNipples

    Oh, and just because this website ‘apparently’ thrives on the witty/sarcastic comments by the readers that have nothing to do with the original post(you wish), here’s something:

    sweetcheek’s pussy is visually equivalent to a pile of cat assholes, and is the olfactory equivalent of living with a wet rat, inside of an old shoe encrusted with feces, soaked in tuna brine, and dipped into a vat of hamster piss.

  26. innit

    Cliques on the Superficial = lame

    And Treacle, STFU. There are already enough fucktards on here who try to get their nonexistent egos off the floor by coming here to post that they are so haawwwt and they have huge perfect boobs and impossible measurements and they want threesomes. Echoing #110, get a life you twat!

  27. CancerNipples

    Cliques on the Superficial = LAME?

    Coulda fooled me…said cliques are the only thing keeping sweetcheeks from deep-throating the barrel of a shotgun.

  28. Edna Bambrick

    CancerNipples, I pray for your nipples and understand your bitterness. Make your peace before it is too late.

  29. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    “Comments will be moderated and obnoxious or promotional comments may be removed. If your comments are excessively inappropriate or you question why a comment was removed, you will be banned. There will be no warning and no appeals.”

    This really cracks me up when I sign in. This is the emptiest threat I’ve ever seen, seeing as how there are some pretty foul-mouthed comments, and I’ve never seen anything done about it. It’s very amusing.

  30. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Beware! Fake Edna is afoot!

  31. CancerNipples

    what’s your point? As far as I can tell (as much as I care to read)

    Edna isn’t even in this post. Fuck off.

  32. CancerNipples

    Oh, my bad, I didn’t see that Edna post before I posted. But to be fair, that is a “fake” Edna post…

    I’m letting you know because you are all idiots and cannot tell the difference

  33. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Geez, CancerNipples (BTW, you should have that looked at) you are one volatile person. Haven’t had a chance to take your Ritalin, have you? Chill out, it’ll be okay.

  34. ohnoudint

    All I’ve learned from lamebananas is that she copies and pastes liner notes from her limited CD collection

  35. CancerNipples

    How am I the volatile one? I don’t follow any of you nerds around post to post, trolling you…

    but yeah, I AM THE ONE with the temper? Okay…

    Say whatever you have to say to keep sweetcheeks from throwing herself off the roof

  36. lainofthewired

    You guys are all nutz…everyone knows that MeaganHarris is a tranny named Mateo…that pic is just some girl with the same fairly common name…At least pick on the real douche bag…

  37. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Yeah, neither do I, actually. YOU’RE the one who got all crazy and told me to f*ck off for no reason. And how am I following anyone around, post to post, trolling people? I don’t, so back off.

  38. radio4play


    Yea it’s still BORING..ya’ll are just a bunch of nancypants..yea I make up my own words..bugger off now

    tcltc..more interesting still than all the crap above

  39. TreacleTart

    MeganHarris/isegoria/innit – must be one & the same person. How sad!
    You shut the fuck up, twat!

    Anyway, yes I do have lovely large breasts. I assure you there’s nothing impossible about my 34E-23-34 statistics. Don’t be so jealous.
    Many females in my family have large breasts and tiny waists. Evidently it’s a genetic trait. Along with being quite short.
    Yes, they WILL eventually end up round my ankles, so what? We all age and things go south in the end. Do you think you’ve come up with a revelation, you fucking retard!
    At least I have them and they look good NOW!

    Anyone who puts their picture out there in the public domain is open to being commented on.
    Are you too stupid to understand that simple fact?
    MeganHarris isn’t attractive, and, judging by the other picture I just saw of her on this board, she’s got an unattractive figure too.
    Poor girl. Not blessed with intelligence, or a nice face or a nice shape.
    I actually pity her now.

    BTW, complainers…if you don’t like the comments, YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ THEM!!
    The screen-name is at the top of the post, you can choose not to read it.

    Honestly, how do you idiots function in the real world without basic common sense?

  40. Faye Valentine

    how strange. dont normal people usually get married before pregnancy or during? I’ve never heard of anyone proposing right after she gives birth. I guess Katie er Kate, lived up to her end of the bargain.

  41. ok,what i don’t get is they have done everything possible to show the world how much they love each other TOM especially!! so why do they need a prenup.i mean come on if TOM is gonna jump round on oprahs couch like that over her it must be gonna last forever dont you think???
    (haha) no way!!! it will all end in tears!!!

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