Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes get a prenup

May 3rd, 2006 // 141 Comments

holmes-cruise-prenup.jpgThe Daily Mail reports Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are now ready to marry in July, after signing a $40 million prenup which they’ve been working on for the past few weeks. A $15 million trust has been set up for Katie and her baby regardless of whether she marries Tom, but if they do marry and later divorce, Katie will receive an extra $25 million from him. A source says:

“Katie’s family have always been very sceptical about their romance. They were shocked that Katie got pregnant so quickly and didn’t like the way she had turned her back on Catholicism for Scientology. But now this deal has been sorted out they are at least relieved that Katie and her baby will be financially secure for life, even if she doesn’t marry Tom.”

Either this is the most elaborate publicity stunt ever attempted, or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are actually getting married. I only give it a couple months though. You’d be surprised how hard it is to maintain a marriage when the wife is locked in the basement and the husband spends all his time at gay bathhouses.



  1. radio4play

    you can’t eat poo?????

  2. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    tsk, tsk. Of COURSE you can eat poo. Lambanaranadingdong does it ALL the time.(come out, Edna, I know it’s you!)

  3. krisdylee

    I believe we were talking about how hot I am.

  4. saltpeanuts

    I hope for her skeptical family’s sake that Section 18(c)(3)(b) reads “Beneficiary Clause for When Katie and Syracuse are Whisked Away by Space Aliens”.

  5. radio4play

    #53 no you’re mistaken that was the conversation you were having with yourself

    #52 so how do you eat poo then?

  6. Trotter

    Lamebananabrains likes to do it the old fashioned way, like abck at the institution where she was raised. Straight from ass to hand to mouth. Of course, I think Sherry-co and MeganHarris have taken it to a far higher level…

  7. snookyookums

    So…back to the topic…
    I really hope that they have a private, tiny ceremony and then announce that they’ve gotten married.
    Sort of like the birth of Suri.
    And then the conspiracy theories and rumors can swirl forever!

  8. No_Angel

    Your comments sound oddly familiar — are you playing “Judge Judy”? It’s not raining, I’m actually peeing on your leg.

    Tom Cruise is an idiot, a mindless ninny with no individualism or sense of self. He’s a Scientology cult member and can’t think himself out of a 4 way stop sign.

  9. CruisingForCock

    this doesn’t sound like a pre-nup. It sounds like he is paying her to marry him. I didn’t know the price of a beard was that high in the millions.

  10. MasterofMuppets


    It’s not just the price for the beard. It also takes into consideration Kate hasn’t been able to sit right for months now.

  11. antiguy

    This proves it! Katie WANTS to marry Tom. If she didn’t(or doesn’t) want to, now is the time to get the fuck out of there. She’s got fifteen million smackers for her and her baby.

    If she doesn’t want to marry mister ‘I am a fantastic actor but I’m also fantastically crazy’, now is the time to run away.

    Alternatively, she could marry him and then divorce him for bonus points.

  12. CruisingForCock

    Wait – I thought we were talking about how hot Krisdylee is?

  13. isegoria

    40 million when it’s all said and done and she marries the nutzo and leaves?

    I dunno. I look at the pictures of them together and I just grimace. If I had to be near him, much less had him touching me I’d only be able to stand it for about 5 seconds before i flipped out and went fucking nuts on his sorry ass.

  14. isegoria

    40 million when it’s all said and done and she marries the nutzo and leaves?

    I dunno. I look at the pictures of them together and I just grimace. If I had to be near him, much less had him touching me I’d only be able to stand it for about 5 seconds before i flipped out and went fucking nuts on his sorry ass.

  15. nortex001

    Complete bullshit.

    Prenuptual aggreements are NOT a matter of public record. There is no way in this vast universe that neither Tom nor Katie would divulge the either the existance of or the particulars of a prenuptual agreement.

    Such admissions would only provide fodder for sick assholes like you all.

  16. bigfatmomma

    like the baby wouldn’t be financially secure for life with just her money anyway

    gosh, i wish someone left me enough money that i never had to work a day in my life

  17. TreacleTart

    MeganHarris, you are not an attractive girl. You really shouldn’t put your picture up for people to see how ugly you are.
    Thanks to the person who posted the link to that site.
    I wouldn’t have commented on how plain you are, MeganHarris, if it weren’t for the stupid and insane comments you post here.
    Anyone who speaks in favour of the abominable Paris Hilton should be made to eat their dinner off Hilton’s herpes-infected knickers. After she’s had anal sex.
    No wonder you’re a fan of Paris Hilton, you’re even uglier than she is, if that’s possible.

    MHIHM = MeganHarris is hideously minging
    Here’s the proof:

    Hmmm, I hope this link works. I admit I’m not good with computers.

  18. TreacleTart

    Shit! I told you I’m not good with computers!
    I’ll try again.

  19. TreacleTart


  20. Mr_White_Secure_American


  21. Hey TreacleTart, yeah, the link doesn’t work. not only are you not good with computers, but your an idiot too.

    Newsflash, I don’t care what you think. And I’m prolly a lot more attrative than you, you fat horsefaced dyke. Where’s your pic?

  22. CruisingForCock



  23. I bet none of you guys have ever been with a “pretty” girl. and who are you to judge? Your an internet troll!

    Please, guys, honestly, don’t masterbate to my image tonight. It’s really unhealthy to develope crushes online.

  24. pagebetty


  25. TaftHartley

    #70, 71, 72
    WTF?? SHUT UP YOU FUCKING RETARD GALLERY!! Don’t make me come down there and shove you head first into each other’s asses.

  26. TaftHartley

    Add # 75 to that daisy chain.

  27. CruisingForCock

    74 You’re = you are. Your = of or relating to you. MASTURBATE NOT MASTERBATE. Even YOUR ugly ass can learn this.

  28. TaftHartley

    I’m “masterbatin’” to your image right now, Megan. First I had to photoshop a bullet hole in the middle of your forehead. The only way I can do it.

  29. Akapee

    Why is there so much hateration going on? In the meantime I am sitting on the Navajo reservation drinking gin and juice and smoking weed with my indian friends and talking about how all you fucked up white people on this site have fucked up our lives for a long time.

    Tom Cruise is our revenge on your white asses.

  30. gogoboots

    If they get married, right?

  31. QuitEatingFatAss

    “Hey Katie, I got a proposition for you”
    -”Yeah, what’s that?”
    “It involves pretending to be in love, poppin out a baby then breaking his heart. You’ll love it… its all about spotlight babe”
    -”Is it a movie?”
    “Not quite… but it reads like one”
    -”I don’t know… who’s it with”
    “Tom Cruise”
    -”Fuck, you’d have to pay me like 15 million dollars to do that”

  32. I need a grammar and spelling lesson from a guy who calls himself “CruisingForCock” like I need a hip replacement.

    Go cruise for your cock, little boy.

  33. Iambananas

    I don’t think I’m smarter that everyone… just everyone that hates on this website! And, by the way, you children are so immature, it’s funny. Geez, all I said was “I like Tom Cruise”… and that merits all of you being morally repugnant, spineless, and people who forget everything about being an adult, not a 3 year-old? I wonder if you are proud of yourselves? Proud that you are spineless except on the internet, then you are childish. And, yes, that makes me better than you.

  34. Jeez people, enough with the Megan bashing already. Yeah, a lot of her posts are lame, but she’s not often deliberately annoying; she just kinda sits there and does her thing, whatever exactly that is.

    Save the venom for people who really deserve it: Edna; our resident Scientology propagandist; etc.

  35. Iambananas

    Dont spit on me and shame yourself
    Because you wish you were someone else
    You look so clean but you spread your dirt
    As if think that words dont hurt
    You build up walls no one can climb
    The things you do should be a crime
    You’re spineless weirdos of superficiality
    Keep your lies out of my reality
    And when you’re nice it’s just a pose
    You’re one of those

    Traitors to the human race
    What a drag
    What a waste
    I’d like to see them disappear
    They dont belong anywhere

    Spinning a web thats hard to see
    Of envy, greed and jealousy
    Feeling angry but you don’t know why
    Why dont you look me in the eye?
    You want my friends
    You want my clothes
    You’re one of those

    Later for the alibis
    Any shape
    Any size
    I’d like to see them disappear
    They dont belong anywhere

  36. Don’t stress it lambananas. Thats all I did on this site, was just comment my opinions, and all of the sudden I was attacked by these people with low self esteem. I wonder if they treat people in real life, face to face, like this. I doubt it.

    I love The Superficial, and none of these clowns are going to make me stop enjoying this site.

  37. Iambananas

    Are you proud that you’re haters? Are you proud that EVERY word pretains to you? You are probably too stupid to see the reasoning in it… just, go ahead, correct somthing I typed annoyingly, or say something immature. Both equally proof of your ignorance.

  38. Iambananas

    I love the Superficial, too, and youre TOTALLY right Megan… They do have low self esteem… and they’re jsut plain weird to be all weird on a website… it’s freaky.

  39. Iambananas

    How do you defend yourself from people who know nothing about you and are pretty much worse than kids? I really don’t care how to because I don’t care about those people at all, nor do I care of what they think about me.

  40. TaftHartley

    #86 Hey, Pushkin, your poem made me weep. Why DO you like The Superficial?

  41. CruisingForCock

    83 Oh. Okay. Ouch. I just got some anal rape from MeganHarris.

  42. sherry-co

    TCLTC=TOM CRUISE LOVES TO CUDDLE…just a reminder..

  43. sherry-co

    This Pre-nup only shows how generous of a man he is…They will get married because they are in love…obviously not something any of you have in your lame ass lives..its truly sad, with every hate word you type it only screams…IM JEALOUS OF TOM CRUISE!! He is THE most POWERFUL actor in Hollywood today..You SLIMY SLUGS need to crawl back under your trailer homes…

  44. sherry-co

    Oh and lambananas…whenever these SLIMY SLUGS dont have a remark or come back..they attack your grammer and spelling…such LOSERS are they….They prove it each and everytime someone doesnt THINK the same trashy way as they do…

  45. CruisingForCock

    Sherry-co – Tom Cruise doesn’t care about you. He is not watching the Superficial website. He doesn’t even know you exist. He doesn’t need or desire your support.

    He told me so before he left tonight – right after I raped his ass with a black strap on.

  46. Kweef

    It seems Sherry-co and lambananas have fallen in love. Be carefull bananas I have heard about Sherry’s wicked case of herpes most likely from fucking Tom Cruise up the ass. I used to beat the shit out of girls like the two of you up every day in high school. And just like those pathetic cunts you also come back for more….me thinkie you like it. So how will you two decide which one wears the gimp suit?

  47. sherry-co


  48. Kweef

    He loves to cuddle…cuddle large black men named Jethro

  49. Tetsuo

    * FIRST!

    * Bananas is un retardo.

    * The media here in Taiwan are reporting that there’s some evidence that the kid’s not even Tom’s. While that’s fucking obvious, I’ve not heard the media saying it before, so what’s the deal there?

    * TCLTC

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