Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are so married

November 20th, 2006 // 129 Comments
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superficial

  1. ffordegroupie

    Her dress is seriously cheapo. Tom-Tom must not have wanted to spare the cash, and spent it on Thai boys instead.

    And he’s SHORT SHORT SHORT and we will never forget it, no matter how hard he tries to make us. He’s standing on something.

    LL, because they used special scientology vows! I found them at Newsoftheworld.co.uk. Take a look at this:

    During the wedding vows, which are NOT recognised by law, Miscavige asked 27-year-old Katie:

  2. vc

    katie looks lovely. tom looks, well… like tom. i think they have as fair a shot at happiness as anyone else. stranger things have happened. sure, the “tomkat” stories are making us all ill, as would anything in in exaggerated abundance, but who says you have to pay attention to them? geez… live and let live, people.

  3. vc

    katie looks lovely. tom looks, well… like tom. i think they have as fair a shot at happiness as anyone else. stranger things have happened. sure, the “tomkat” stories are making us all ill, as would anything in in exaggerated abundance, but who says you have to pay attention to them? geez… live and let live, people.

  4. LukeWarmwater

    18. If we can see your knees bending through a WEDDING GOWN, you’re not fooling anybody. She’s going to disappear for a few months and come back with mysteriously shorter shins

    Those aren’t her knees, its the bulge from her strap-on. For we all know TC adores the penis.

  5. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    #94, NONE of those posts were me! Not the pictures, and not anything after them except for the occasional “hey guys, that’s obviously not me posting those comments.” Someone equally as lame as jrzmommy posted them under the same name as mine. So your “point” is shot to shit.

  6. supanigga

    IT’S ALL A LIE

    TOM STILL LOVES THE COCK.

  7. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    Oh and to jrzmommy, I’m sure you’re “somebody,” right? I’m sure everyone on here is as rich, well known, highly successful, and powerful as you. Because after all, this is the website where all the “somebody’s” spend their time. We’re all extremely privelaged to have you post on here, because you are so superior to everyone. I’m willing to be that the reality is you’re just another bored, overweight soccer mom who has nothing left in life to look forward to other than watching your evil offspring run amock and wreak havock among society. Oh how I envy you!

  8. katlady12

    Thats an awful background for a wedding pic. Looks like the inside of a creepy cave. How fitting.

  9. Libraesque

    INNNNNNNNTERESTING background, it looks like they’re taking the express elevator to hell……..

  10. WTF?

    Poor girl, still hasn’t recovered from her spine surgery to remove 6 vertebrae.

  11. Libraesque

    The only thing more fucking ridiculous than this sham of a relationship is all you douchebags on here pontificating posters physical appearance, if they’re working at work or just big losers on the internet all day BLAH BLAH BLAH. Stick to the Cruise bashing or go beat eachothers asses ON SOME OTHER FORUM. I’ve got an idea, why don’t you all exchange e-mail addresses, then when you start your pissing match, you can take it private

  12. natechip

    I remember when he was a big star for movies, not for making an ass of himself.

  13. A POS

    She’s not squatting. That’s pain from the new installation of the giant scientology fucking ball and chain she’ll be wearing until she’s 100% brainwashed. Why do you thing the dress looks so poor? The heat from it is making it wilt. Why do you think the room is glowing?

    Tom can’t be gay anyway, it’s not ‘really’ gay to take a 9 inch cock in your ass and have a guy cum in your face. Aliens told him so. ‘Cock?. Sho’ nuff you rich midget, suck all the nut you want baby. Oh, and Eyes Wide Shut was great too. Gay? PAH!!’

  14. killeristic

    WOAH. that pic up there is a miracle!!

    katie is supp to be 5 feet taller than tom, but in the pic. they look AS TALL AS!

  15. jrzmommy

    106&108: Do you really think you’re insulting me because I have a family? I mean, do you really think that’s insulting? Because it’s not. I find your lack of sophistication annoying as fuck, but definately not insulting. You try to mock the things that you think are beneath you, but in the meantime, you continue to show everyone what an empty, shallow pathetic bitch you are. You’re a joke. A boring and unoriginal joke.

    And as for being “somebody” and famous, when you get older and seasoned and wiser, you realize that your life is great just the way it is. You stop chasing the unmeaningful bullshit. You act as if your life is so much better than everyone else’s. Guess what??–all the shit you’re doing….been there done that. Everything you’re doing now at age 20, I did already, too. It was fun for a little bit, but then I wanted more and I moved on. Now maybe you should move on, too, psycho.

  16. justsayno

    chasing back multiple posts to type out a 2 paragraph reply first thing in the morning. somebody’s more than a little tweaked!

  17. jrzmommy

    117–caring to read and comment on posts not directed at you? Somebody’s more than a little worthless. go to class, now, junior.

  18. Znuffy

    I think Kenny Chesney & Tom would make a cute couple! I think that should be Tom’s next marriage!

  19. tsarinaamanda

    @118-

    You are one of the best posters on this site, and I consistently laugh at ALL of you posts. Don’t let these worthless little fucks get to you….like you said, they haven’t figured out what’s REALLY important in life, so they cannot understand how others don’t WANT to live their shallow, superficial dreams.

  20. tsarinaamanda

    You keep on keepin on…Jrz, fuck them. I like you, for what it’s worth…which isn’t much, I know.

  21. jrzmommy

    hey, tsarina–right on. they don’t get to me….but the hubris is overwhelming. I like you, too and I’m happy if I made you giggle once in a fucking while.

  22. This is a Rock 'n Roll Takeover

    If anyone has acted like anything was beneath them, it was YOU! You who got involved when my opinion was different than everyone else’s on a FUCKING WORTHLESS MESSAGE BOARD!!! I don’t think having a family is beneath me, but it’s not something I want out of life. You parade it around as if that’s what makes you so fucking great, and it just goes to show, that regardless of age, or intelligence, OR LOOKS (you shallow fuck) everyone has their own agenda in life and it’s not for you to make these bullshit attempts to “run me off the website” because I didn’t agree with you, or Biatcho, or whoever else on here thinks they’re such hot shit.

    And you may not remember, but when I first starting coming to this site and posting comments, you and I had a couple back-and-forth’s cracking jokes to each other about whatever that post happened to be about. So fuck off with your self-righteous bullshit, because for someone who’s trying to tell me about what’s important in life, you sure do spend a lot of your important, precious time worrying about what people here say, whether it’s directed at you or not. If you’ll notice, I check back maybe 2-3 times a week, and I have a laptop that goes with me everywhere, so it’s not like I don’t have access to a computer. You, on the other hand, check back here every 5 minutes to read every single comment posted in hopes you can say something to try and insult whoever says anything you don’t like. Give it a rest, cunt.

  23. juicylips

    I can’t believe 20 ppl posted before someone had the genius to remind us all that Tom Cruise loves the cock! Still hilarious after all these months.

  24. liliaroz

    Check this out! This is so hilarious!!
    “To figure out how Tom Cruise appeared to be taller than Katie Holmes in their wedding photo, we deployed X-ray technology to the photograph.”
    http://worldofwonder.net/archives/2006/Nov/22/how_they_did_it.wow

  25. MizScarlett

    Jrzmommy and Rock and Roll Takeover -

    DECAF!

  26. cazz

    It looks very much like, in the full length picture, tom is standing closer to the camera than katy. I think that the very same trickery used in LOTRs was used – where Gandalf would stand closer to the camera so as to look taller than the hobbits – it would look as though they were standing right next to each other on camera when in fact there was 10 metres or so distance between them.

    The upclose photo teamed with the full length makes as immediately associate that these two photos were taken consequetively (sp)… but my dear friends, it is all an illusion!

    He’s a maniac, maniac!!

  27. Naomi

    123 – and jrz is the winner in the ‘class’ division. I love this comment:

    If anyone has acted like anything was beneath them, it was YOU! You who got involved when my opinion was different than everyone else’s on a FUCKING WORTHLESS MESSAGE BOARD!!!
    —————

    so why you getting your panties in such a twitter, man? Pot, kettle, black.

  28. lol, i guess it’s a good thing to verify it

  29. WakeUpWorld

    I’m a Scientologist and I’ll tell you that this crazy story about Xenu is total crap. Some people in the press keep saying that this Xenu story is what Scientologists believe. This is such garbage and it’s a story repeated over and over and is intended to keep people from looking into what Scientology actually is. So why would some in the media intentionally try and keep people away from Scientology you ask? Because most media is well paid by the pharmaceutical industry. They see Scientology as a threat to their profits because it is. Scientology has many, many answers that work and are practical. Let’s look at 1 example of how the psychiatric drugging industry is hurt by Scientology technology… Let’s assume you know someone who has been depressed for several months or even years. Did you know that with Scientology you can literally snap him out of his dark days and make him feel happy again, sometimes in less than five minutes. How could this be? Because Scientology helps and works like nothing else before it. There is no need to be on a psychiatric drug everyday for the rest of your life. This is just one of thousands of solutions Scientology has and it would take literally books to tell you all it has to offer and can do. Give a Scientologist just a few minutes of your time and you’ll quickly realize what a sham psychiatry and the psychiatric drugging business is. It’s OK to be skeptical about Scientology, but don’t assume that what you’ve been told about it is actually true. Just ask yourself would all these celebrities be involved in it if didn’t help them and others tremendously?

    HTTP://WWW.WHATISSCIENTOLOGY.ORG

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