Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are really getting married

October 24th, 2006 // 36 Comments

Us Weekly has confirmed that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise will get married in Italy on November 18. A rep for the couple says: “All those details are correct. Proper security measures are being taken [to keep the vows private.]” Additionally, Giorgio Armani has confirmed he’s creating both outfits for the wedding, including Tom Cruise’s suit and Katie Holmes’ wedding dress, saying: “When I am asked by a friend to make a wedding wardrobe, it goes straight to my heart. It really is an honor to play a small role in that milestone moment.”

There aren’t really any other details about the wedding, but I assume they’ve already rented out the rising platform synchronized to techno music and a laser show. It’s tough to cater to the insane, but I imagine Tom Cruise has the resources to make his dream wedding a reality.


  1. mbarkr

    First, bastages!!!

  2. mogirl69

    maybe the mothership will make a cameo at their wedding!

  3. commissioner

    Isn’t this his THIRD “milestone moment”?

  4. el_princess

    damn! nearly first…

    well I’m the first to say TCLTC! But not the last!

  5. shmoody

    I believe that Mr. Armani is wrong — its Tom’s wedding dress and Katie leather bondage outfit

  6. I posted this on another site, but it seems approriate her too.

    When an invitation arrives in my mailbox from the Cruise / Holmes group, I’m going to take it to the backyard, unopened, and blast it to smithereens with my 12 gauge pump shotgun!

    Schick Schick Boom…

    Schick Schick Boom…

  7. Italian Stallion

    The Pope is nota gonna lika disa…….

  8. shmoody

    @8 No the Pope won’t but L.Ron Hubbard loves it baby — Oh and LRHLTC

  9. BigJim

    I didn’t know that Armani made assless chaps.

  10. Katie looks surprisingly happy in those pics.

    Wait til she finds out that…


  11. wedgeone

    @11: when you’re a woman with no ass, and you put on assless chaps, what would that look like? Spooky.


  12. frenchtoaststix

    At the reception they will play “Musical Jumping Chairs”? Will Katie’s mom hide in a corner, furiously puffing a cigarette and getting tanked on liquor, trying to kill Tom with lasers shooting out of her eyes? Will “L. Ron Husband” start laughing manaically during the ceremony? I wonder what Katie’s gownless evening strap will look like?

  13. wedgeone

    Before anyone answers, I ASSumed that #11 was talking about TC wearing the ASSless chaps. But just stop and think about my question for a few seconds. It’s mind-boggling!

  14. Elusive Spork

    is it just me or do Katie and Tom both look increasing more insane in EVERY picture published of them? Maybe we really are living in “end times” and the mothership has already come for the royal Cruise family and replaced them with robots.

    On a side note: Where in the hell is Suri? Surely Katie had the good sense not to leave her home alone with Tom…. by the time she gets home from shopping the poor kid will probably be prophesying dandelions as the ones chosen to repopulate Earth after the mothership destroys those unfaithful to Ron L.

  15. I can’t believe the way she looks now. He has sucked all of the energy and life from her body. What a waste of all those tissues and lotion.

    Goodbye Joey……….

  16. Now THIS wedding is going to be interesting

  17. shmoody

    @16 Suri doesn’t exist, it is a figment of L. Ron’s vivid, yet evil, imagination.

    Oh and LRHLTC

  18. ponk

    lmao @ LRHLTC
    and somebody needs to tell katie that transforming into a giant insect with those sunglasses won’t compensate for negative ass. ask nicole richie, it doesn’t work.

  19. ElatedPornStar

    Those sunglasses truly accentuate the massive forehead she’s got going on up there.

  20. I cannot stand the new big sunglasses phase. It just makes everyone look like bugs with googly eyes!

  21. They should throw James Van Der Beek a bone — like making him the usher or ice sculpture attendant. That boy needs a post-Dawson’s Creek gig…

  22. Toonlite

    #1 – “Bastages”….I like it…thank you..AKA Biotch…Bitch…and prolly a bunch of stuff Katie “Dead Eyes” Holmes calls us……I must say I am PROUD…to be a part of this merriment.

    SO, since I started calling Katie “Dead Eyes” and a number of comments referring to her glassy Scientology stare she has been wearing those huge glasses….I swear one lens could outfit a windshield of a Yugo…..silly init !?!?

  23. Stuey75

    I thought that gay marriages were banned.

  24. Jedi Kevin

    Big sunglasses == stupid

  25. jrzmommy

    I tried on a pair of gigantic sunglasses the other day in Target and my three year old laughed uncontrollably — doubled over — and when he could finally speak he said, “You look stoopit, Mom!”

    OOH–an Italian Wedding!!!! What will they have for bombinere — copies of “Dyanetics” and vitamins instead of Jordan Almonds?

  26. Who does she think she is? Jackie O? Last time I checked Tom is no JFK.

  27. so its true? I used to like Katie, pre-Tom days, more like her Dawson’s Creek Days.

  28. kate

    Oh great. The freak wedding is finally upon us.

    I fucking hate those two. I only am interested because I think we’re witnessing a real live kidnapping and brainwashing and we’re all powerless to stop it.

  29. frenchtoaststix

    Posted by seyoboy on October 24, 2006 1:59 PM

    Yes they are …fist at last

    FIST, indeed. Tom likes a big one right up the poop chute.

  30. the-man-himself

    Where is the other insect named Victoria?

  31. scarlett

    why would a couple who wouldn’t allow their baby to be seen for almost 4 months now all of a sudden be divulging all these private details of their wedding. i think they will marry but not on the date their publicist confirmed

  32. skye

    Will she ever remove the glasses again or if she did would we see Steppford Wives eyes – all blacked out with no whites in the eyes???? Jeez!

  33. Sam

    Finally they will be bonded for a few months….!! and

  34. wow, since when is reporting that someone might be getting married news? how bout people cover it when it happens?

Leave A Comment