Tom Brady knocks up Bridget Moynahan

February 19th, 2007 // 77 Comments

Bridget Moynahan is three months pregnant with Tom Brady’s baby, even though they’re not together anymore and he’s currently with Gisele Bundchen. Moynahan and Brady were going out for two years before breaking up in December, and lately Brady has been spotted with Gisele, coming and going from her SoHo apartment. Which is bad news, because apparently his super sperm gets women pregnant he’s not even seeing anymore. God knows how pregnant Gisele is. She’s probably sitting in bed right now with sperm shooting out of her nostrils. And yeah, maybe I crossed the line with that last sentence, but maybe I didn’t. The only thing we know for sure is I could beat up a tiger with my bare hands. And that’s a fact.


  1. misanthrope

    @53… Hey, lay off Bill Murray.

  2. diddles

    58- Instead of stiff arming the diaphragm, Brady should have dumped off to the Tight End.

  3. Binky

    I guess it was a ‘screen pass’

  4. Monday

    Brady’s very well hung, so after a few initial dumpoffs his tight ends usually convert to wide receivers.

  5. RussianMafia

    Ban the wiseman TROLL! now!

  6. NipsyHustle

    It was only possible for her to tie herself to Brady’s fortune because like a stupid man, he’s digging her out daily without a condom and now crying the blues because she’s pregnant. “Gee, how did that happen?” caveman Brady asks. Sounds like he should have been more responsible with his sperm.

    Avoiding the “keep a nigga” baby trick is very easy: WRAP YOUR DICK TO DODGE “THE TRICK”. Men need to be honest with themselves. Instead of fixating on how good barebacking feels, think about how shitty the next 18 years of payments will be. Weekends ruined cause you have to visit those little fuckers you didn’t want. New trim is out of the question cause the fucking carseats you have to cart around are cockblocking just as hard as your bastards kids are.

    You know when you meet a woman if you’d want to have kids with her. If not, “STICK YOUR DICK IN A CONDOM”. If you choose not too and she gets pregnant, STFU doofus. You brought it on yourself.

  7. No jokes about the quarterback sneak or the two-point conversion? Damn, ya’all are slipping.

    If only Brady had been that accurate against the Colts. Oh, well, baseball season’s coming…Go Red Sox!

  8. LyraBelacqua

    #52 No one makes the case for mandatory vasectomies for football players like Brian Urlacher. Not only did that guy not dodge the bullet, he caught it right between the eyes. At least Brady knocked up a human being; Urlacher’s ex was so skanky she whored herself for Michael “Lord of the Dance” Flatley. How he could hit that is beyond me.

  9. Truthseeker013

    Four words.

    “Tom, you Da Man!”

  10. AnnoyingPseud

    Don’t know who the guy is and don’t care. He looks slightly Downs syndrome…but I totally agree w/#57 here and say: guys if you won’t or don’t want no babies, then wrap that dick in super-strength Glad Flexie trashbags! Shit, I give this same advice to my own son, given that his dad didn’t do the same. Since that stupid fucking diaphram my ancient codger doctor gave me wasn’t worth a plug nickel.

    and for guy’s who impregnate then leave a gal who’s knocked up [list of celebs who do same is getting longer every day]: I hope your dick falls off. And for women who get preggers by some arsehole who leaves you: you need to be sterilized because you’re a lousy picker of men and chose to get pregnant by a troll masquerading as a real man. And your womb booger needs to be picked before you spew it out, thereby collecting 18 yrs worth of payments for 9 months of spawn squatting.

  11. Stink

    Tom Brady is from…France…

  12. Sheva

    Brady is a great quarterback for the New England Patriots.
    Bridget is a lucky whore who just hit the lottery right between her legs.

    So there you have it.

  13. woodhorse

    #43 you forgot #29. Tom Brady needs to put a sock on it. The world doesn’t need another kid being neglected by his father. And looking at his Neandrathal fivehead, forget the sock and get a vasectomy.

  14. ResidentX

    She’s 35 years old. She’s lying. She’s
    not pregnant. She’s doing the “Hail Mary”
    routine. Tom, just ignore her…this is another desperate cry for attention!!

  15. EJ

    I realize that this is Superfish and normally I’m as superficial as the next one, but I can’t help myself.

    Did it occur to anyone that maybe, just MAYBE, she might keep the baby because she WANTS a baby? (As opposed to being a money grubbing whore.)

    I mean, come on, she may not be worth trillions, but the girl’s earned enough to live on without having to take a spot at McDonald’s…..

  16. mADB

    i don’t understand why some of you are attacking tom brady all of a sudden because the ex gf is pregnant. i mean, tom brady didn’t leave her, he didn’t break up the relationship, SHE DID!! so what if she’s pregnant, it’s not like she’s poor and will be in line at the food stamp, or welfare line, geez! if anyone should be attacking anybody, it should be her. it’s her loss and if she’s pregnant…hellooooooooooooooo..file child support, it’s not that hard.

  17. #66–If she keeps the baby and only wants Tom to admit it’s his and play father, I’d buy that it’s all about the mommy role, because then she’s not out for money and as you said, is financially capable of supporting the kid herself.

    Otherwise, nope.

  18. Wait a minute…you can really beat up a tiger?

  19. Does anybody else know that she is hot?

  20. Mearl

    Funny how she got pregnant about the time they broke up. Also, I love how it’s his fault. Like she wasn’t there, on her back, spread wide without a condom. Stupid Twat. She’s really hot though. I actually like her even better than Gizsmell. I said Jiz smell. Funny.

  21. no1justminda

    Tom Brady is a douche.

  22. Spetsnaz

    Tom, may your forehead grow like the mighty oak!

  23. Trixie

    Bridget Moynahan is way better looking than Gisele, without a doubt (and more talented). The bottom line is, this kid will have access to the best schools, the best vacations, the best of everything. Even if these two were still together, the kid would most likely be with a nanny alot anyway, because of their careers. Therefore, lets not feel too badly for the offspring. It will have the best of both worlds.

  24. babygreens

    Why is everyone assuming it’s Bridget Moynahan’s fault? Why should the birth control failing, if that’s the reason why she got pregnant, be the result of her not taking the pills? If Tom Brady was so firm on not getting anyone pregnant, he should have also used a condom. What a dork!

  25. Kathi

    First of all, some of you people need a math lesson. There is nothing super about sperm that gets someone pregnant while they are dating. She is 3 months along.

    Second, you sexist freaks out there who decided this woman (35 and successful at that) will bear and raise a child for money are fools. She has plenty of money, and I can just about guarantee you dorks out there criticizing her would be calling her a babykiller if she had terminated the pregnancy. Because for some reason you don’t see women as human beings. There is a group therapy session out there with your names all over it.

  26. geez….well, i guess bridget’s got a steady paycheck now even though her career sucks…

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