Tom Brady knocks up Bridget Moynahan


Bridget Moynahan is three months pregnant with Tom Brady’s baby, even though they’re not together anymore and he’s currently with Gisele Bundchen. Moynahan and Brady were going out for two years before breaking up in December, and lately Brady has been spotted with Gisele, coming and going from her SoHo apartment. Which is bad news, because apparently his super sperm gets women pregnant he’s not even seeing anymore. God knows how pregnant Gisele is. She’s probably sitting in bed right now with sperm shooting out of her nostrils. And yeah, maybe I crossed the line with that last sentence, but maybe I didn’t. The only thing we know for sure is I could beat up a tiger with my bare hands. And that’s a fact.