Tom and Katie getting married next summer

December 1st, 2005 // 18 Comments

Katie_Carries_Alien_Seed.jpgIn an attempt to end speculation and please the galactic overlord Xenu, Tom Cruise and fianc

superficial

  1. That baby is mine also. Come on people! You all really think Tom likes women? HE IS GAY!

  2. Mary45

    Hello – I mentioned yesterday in my other comment about Mr. Cruise’s baby… IT’S AN ALIEN. No offense Bill…

  3. Spindoc

    Do these two ever smile with their mouths closed? It’s the same with Jessica Simpson, they all have their publicists telling them that smiling with an open mouth makes it look like you are laughing and therefore “Fun” Maybe the world will get lucky and their Fake baby will fall into one of their gaping mouths and eat them from the inside to punish them for making it deaf with the overuse of sonograms. Just a thought.

  4. HollyJ

    Tom’s butt will be slapping against Rob Thomas’s hips (as usual).

  5. Do they get to play with clay during the wedding ceremony?

  6. Linnea

    Tom Cruise is no longer attractive in any way. In fact, he looks oddly like that homeless man that sits on the street corner near iHop and chants in some crazy, homeless guy language. While wearing a tiara. Hey people, who can get Tom a tiara? A pink one. With diamonds.

  7. MadelBlue

    I hope Katie gets postpartum depression and Tom puts her on a diet of crazy “religions”, vitamins and exercise. Then when it doesn’t work I hope she eats him starting with his big misshapen head.

  8. HollyJ

    Do you get post-partum depression when you give birth to a gay alien?

  9. hafaball

    Make fun of it all you want, it still makes as much sense as a naked man and woman being tempted by a snake to eat an apple. I like buddhism, the guy meditated for like 80 years and bam, buddhism was created. There could be more, but I’m too lazy to find out.

  10. MadelBlue

    “Do you get postpartum depression when you give birth to a gay alien?”

    Gay alien babies are the number one risk factor!! Trust me you don’t know the history of Psychiatry. I do.

    There is also dumbassgayalienfakereligiontesttubebaby syndrome which is especially terrible.

  11. HollyJ

    There is also dumbassgayalienfakereligiontesttubebaby syndrome which is especially terrible.

    I hear there’s a vaccine for that, but the Scientologists and the Mormons have joined forces to stop its production.

  12. BadGoat

    He’s a scary Hollywood player. She might as well wear a collar and leash they way he leads her around, controlling her every move.

    NO, I don’t believe they will marry and I don’t believe she’s pregnant. She’s got a pillow under her clothing. It can’t be real, it just can’t!

  13. Breanny

    This girl used to be soooo cute, but he instantly made her U-G-L-Y..she ain’t got no damn alibi. He’s got the worst case of Little Man’s Syndrome that I have seen to date. I’ve never like TCruise, he totally grosses me out.

  14. jka

    It is mind-boggling to me that anyone has ever found Tom Cruise attractive or talented. I don’t care what anyone else says: “Risky Business” is NOT a good movie, but it’s certainly the best one he’s ever done.
    I maintain a short list of actors and actresses whose bloated paychecks I refuse to contribute to under any circumstances, and this HOMUNCULUS is at the very top of it. He’s a pedantic, ignorant little toad with rodent teeth.
    It fills me with glee to watch his every attempt to regain his lost popularity (or even just to seem straight) fail more spectacularly than the previous attempt.

  15. SayWhat?!

    Cruise isn’t going to get stuck in marriage unless Katie turns out a viable infant. That will only happen if she wrings his scrawny neck into letting her have the anesthesia necessary to continue with her painful alien birth. Ah, but first she’ll have to find his neck hidden somewhere in that big freaky grin! Mommy they scare me!!!

  16. lawoman

    TC is GAY & we all know it….he has been having a long affair with Kevin Williamson, creator of Dawson’s Creek – thus the relationship with Katie-freak. Does he really think we are stupid??

  17. A good friend of mines firm drew up the marriage contract for Nicole and Tom. History is obviously repeating itself. Every time one of his male lovers threatens to out him he finds a girlfriend pronto. The contract stated that each could have lovers but had to be ultra discreet (everyone signs a confidentiality agreement, which is why no one has been able to

  18. In response to number 12, I recently saw a chronological account of her “bump” and I agree with the pillow thing!!! One day she was photographed twice and she was hella big in one photo and her stomach was almost completely flat in the next!!!!

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