Tom Cruise Won’t Sue Vanity Fair But Totally Could If He Wanted To

“Before we bring out our next model, there’s something I’ve wanted to say for years… TCLTC, motherfuckers. Whoo!”

In case you needed more proof to back up the Vanity Fair story claiming the Church of Scientology held girlfriend auditions for Tom Cruise that eventually ended with a woman being forced to sell copies of Dianetics on the streets because she dared asked a man to politely repeat himself, his lawyer has reacted to the piece by literally calling it “boring” before moving on to “Oh, yeah, we could totally sue, we just don’t feel like it.” E! News reports:

Fields called out the writer of the piece, Maureen Orth, raising the possibility of legal action if she made the media rounds.
“Unless Maureen Orth keeps spewing this garbage on television, we probably won’t sue them,” the lawyer added. “But anyone associated with this sleazy story should be ashamed of themselves—not just for publishing lies, but also for being unoriginal, sloppy and dull.”

Of course, Tom Cruise won’t sue because to prove libel the accusations would have to be false which is kind of hard to prove when Nazanin Boniadi is walking around not locked in an engine room. Seriously, when you’re done playing with something, put it back where it belongs. They teach you that in kindergarten.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News