Tom Cruise Sped Through New York To Get Suri To A Helicopter? Oh… Oh, Shit

July 19th, 2012 // 40 Comments
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“They told me I have to thank you in advance for lifting the chopper in the air with your mind or I don’t get paid.”

Tom Cruise was apparently involved in a high-speed chase through Manhattan while taking Suri to his private helicopter yesterday, yet everyone seems to be remarkably calm about Katie Holmes never seeing her daughter again because Tom’s team of former Navy SEALs drives better than hers. So she didn’t buy Suri that puppy. They shit everywhere! The LA Times reports:

Cruise, who was visiting with Suri for the first time since Katie Holmes filed for divorce, was taking his daughter from the Greenwich hotel in TriBeCa to a heliport at 12th Avenue and West 29th Street, the New York Daily News reported.
At least 10 cars and six folks on two-wheeled vehicles were following the Cruises’ Chevy Suburban for 20 minutes, the paper said, at speeds about 15 to 20 mph above the speed limit.

The dude possesses the power to control men’s minds and the only excuse he can come up with to cover up a blatant kidnapping is “the paparazzi were chasing me?” And people bought that? Oh, right, the mind control. *starts taking photos of penis* No, not again! *emails them to Tom Cruise* NOOOOOOO!

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News


  1. EricLr

    I love that they mention speed limits–as if those apply to the rich, famous, and powerful

  2. Still can’t believe this mofo is in his 50′s.

    • Backdoor Ninja

      The power of Xenu compels you… and a good plastic surgeon, makeup and millions of dollars.

    • Burt

      That’s what happens when you don’t smoke and you workout regularly.

      • Wren

        And you have personal chefs preparing all your meals, and a fantastic plastic surgeon, and a personal trainer making sure you do exactly the right exercises at the right times. etc…. The point is when you have millions of dollars it isn’t that difficult to always eat right and exercise. I’d bet a dollar old Tom has never been 3 hours past lunch time and no time to shop or cook so whips it through a McDonald’s drive through.

      • r5bales

        Even with all that, he has the STRANGEST upper body.

  3. Matt Lauer

    So if that shit about high ranking Scientologist super-powers is true why the hell does he still need a helicopter?

  4. Smapdi

    15-20 over the speed limit? Oooh! So what, I do that in the parking garage.

    • Marcus

      I guess you’re not familiar with NYC then? Going 15-20 mph over the speed limit in the city is actually a lot with all the traffic and pedestrians.

  5. Tom Cruise Suri Cruise Private Helicopter NYC
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is smeagol wearing that weird shirt.

  6. Horse with no name

    Tom Cruise shouldn’t be allowed near his daughter nor be allowed to be alone with him.

  7. Tom Cruise Suri Cruise Private Helicopter NYC
    Commented on this photo:

    why don’t they get her a hat and sunglasses. she obviously doesn’t want to be seen

  8. Freebie48

    I feel so sorry for that child. She will never have a happy, normal childhood. Chances are high that she will never have a happy, normal adulthood either. She’s screwed.

  9. Dan Quayle

    Ferry lard mass danced along

  10. grobpilot

    Perhaps it’s just photographic distortion but TC looks awfully close to that spinning tail rotor. It would be interesting to see little Tom Cruise meatballs bouncing around the ramp on the other side

  11. Tom Cruise Suri Cruise Private Helicopter NYC
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s brilliant. Nothing like not learning anything from Princess Di’s driver trying to outrun the paparazzi!

    • lk

      Limits in NYC are 25 and 35 so it’s not likely they were really speeding but I guess you felt compelled to offer a stupid opinion.

  12. Why is she always grappled onto him. She’s always walking when she’s with her mother.

    • Parents treat their kids differently. Katie probably wants her to learn to do things on her own, while Tom babies and pampers her and complies to her every whim. Kids know how to play their parents too.

  13. Tom Cruise Suri Cruise Private Helicopter NYC
    Commented on this photo:

    No problem for him to stand up straight – he’ll never hit the rotor.

  14. Tom Cruise Suri Cruise Private Helicopter NYC
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t six a little old to still be carried everywhere?

    • roni reports

      That’s funny :) have you heard the saying “her feet are too good to touch the ground?!” My niece has to walk and she’s three.

    • roni reports

      I read Tom was going 15 20 mph over the speed limit for 20 mnutes. He could not have possibly been driving in Manhattan, unless the speed limit was only 10-15 mph

  15. katiepie

    Why is she still being carried everywhere? Get her to walk for cryin’ out loud.

    • Trek Girl

      There are a lot of pictures of her walking and even skipping or jogging; several of which are from the outings she’s gone on with her mother in the past week or so. It might not be Suri who insists on being carried, but instead her mother or father who insists on carrying her.

  16. Please let Suri walk how old is she might use her evil powers on mommy and daddy you know she’s half alien

  17. Suri is calling the mothership to take her far away

  18. Tom Cruise Suri Cruise Private Helicopter NYC
    Commented on this photo:

    Further proof that Tom Cruise is gay: His flight attendant looks like Magda (from There’s Something About Mary) and he’s cool with that…

  19. moe

    To me the most appalling part of this story is that Tom Cruise drives a Chevy Suburban.

  20. Sliver

    Regardless of how anyone feels about Tom Cruise, I defy any of them to deny that mother-fucker looks like a million dollars for being 50.

  21. Samson S. Hauger

    A traffic ticket for speeding 250 USD in belgium. In front of our door is plenty of room to land.

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