Tom Cruise Is Auditioning, Mind-Beaming, Courting, Whatever You Want To Call It, Cameron Diaz Now

September 27th, 2012 // 51 Comments
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Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz have pretended to be romantic interests in two movies now, so why not carry that charade into reality which I’m assuming was the thought process here. Via The Herald Sun:

“Tom and Cameron get on really well. Tom thinks Cameron is beautiful, intelligent and a lot of fun. He’d love for them to be more than friends,” an insider claimed to the British edition of Grazia.
“Tom’s felt so low since his divorce and Cameron’s company has really cheered him up.”

Before everyone gets into convoluted theories about Cameron Diaz’s face repelling other men which makes her a prime candidate for getting eMetered into a relationship built on slavery, I already proved she has a penis back in January by using A-Rod’s Method For Having Sex With Dudes. I believe you’ll find my calculations as handsome as they are accurate. Hail Science!

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Frank Castle

    Hmm well if he can’t come out of the closet I guess fake marrying man face will have to do.

  2. Frank Castle

    I guess if he won’t come out of the closet marrying a chick the looks like a dude will have to do.

  3. Mohawk Disco

    A mindless free spirited blonde with a control freak egomaniac. What could go wrong?!

    • Whitney

      How do you know that she’s a mindless free spirited blonde?, those are just roles that she plays in the movies. She really could be just as weird as he is.

      • Mohawk Disco

        You think Cruise is just weird? A Che Guevara t-shirt wearing squirrel drunk dialing the US Forest Service to protest cutting down nut trees is weird. Tom is the full blown nut growing on the tree.

  4. Frank Castle

    He’s starting to look like one of those Spitting Image puppets.

  5. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Cameron Diaz will take anything that comes her way at this point. But she has actual lady parts so that’s an obstacle for Tom.

  6. JC

    Do they have enough L. Ron Hubbard frozen sperm left to risk trying to impregnate a 40 year old hermaphrodite? (I’m giving Cameron the benefit of the doubt and assuming she has a penis and a vagina.)

  7. Cock Dr

    So continues Tom’s eternal quest to pass as a happy, secure 100% straight heterosexual.
    I think Cammie would be up for anything; she’d peg a man HARD.

  8. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    FAAHHV-ruh
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s something about [cankles].

  9. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Cameron: [whispering] Is this okay? Let me know if I’m going too far or you start feeling uncomfortable.

  10. Mateo

    Anyone else see a creepy resemblance to Brooke Hogan here….?

  11. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he married? Who’s the lucky little guy?

  12. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    asdasdasd
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa!

  13. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    Diablo Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he still wearing a wedding ring?

  14. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, Ms. Diaz, I may NOT put my penis inside you. I am, after all, a married man. And Xenu would have a cow! Dammit.”

  15. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    KLJTech
    Commented on this photo:

    Even being rich, it has to stink being so short that you always have to wear special footwear not to look like a midget next to women on the red carpet. I bet those boots are stacking 3-4″ onto his little legs.

  16. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    GrandDragon
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: 12″ box Mr. Cruise is standing on.

  17. tom

    Cameron Diaz featuring her worldwide famous potato nose.

  18. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    Aghhh!!
    Commented on this photo:

    Cruise’s middle tooth alignment thing is freakin’ me out!

  19. rican

    Makes perfect sense, without make up she looks like a man.

  20. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    LegMan
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice pins Cam.

  21. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    Lita
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened to his face?

  22. anonym

    I feel sorry for Cameron.

    one of the highest paid females in hollywood; will probably never marry.

    that face will result in ugly babies

  23. judgingyou

    Well, at least someone else went to the trouble of manly-ing her up! Tom has learned something, let another man do that job and concentrate on…..that other man? Ignoring the vagina? Training her in the ways of Xenu and Tom’s brand of sex? Tom?

  24. “We done? Can I get back on the curb now?”

  25. Brooke

    Katie and Tom never made sense to me. Katie was too young and wasn’t anywhere close to his level of stardom… It made sense after we saw how involved Scientology was, but when they first announced it I was like “wha–?” . Diaz makes more sense, actually. I’ve seen them together for interviews and they are cute together. I just don’t think she’d take any of Scientology’s bullshit…

  26. Carla

    I’m sure it’s already been said but yeah, hope this “relationship” ends like it did in Vanilla Sky.

  27. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    Droog
    Commented on this photo:

    “No Tom. There are two anuses. Try the front one” – Cameron Diaz just before getting her man-muscled body fired from that gig.

  28. Sliver

    Ok, I have always suspected that Diaz was a lesbian. Just comes across that way to me. So they’d be perfect together. She could sleep with women, and he could avoid them. Perfect marriage!

  29. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    I want this to happen sooo bad, even though it never will

  30. Ben

    Fucking him and making him chicken soup is not a relationship.

  31. Jemmens

    No way this is true. Cam is WAY too old for Tom; he likes ‘em young.

  32. Roan

    So many people jealous of Tom. Your life can be as great as his, go to your local Scientology org!!!!!

  33. Tom Cruise Cameron Diaz Knight And Day
    Scotish Archer
    Commented on this photo:

    That woman has a lot more class than to get mixed up with that guy.

  34. sarah

    If she can get him away from scientologists then perfect. I feel like he’s a nice guy who got caught up in this religion and needs friends to stand beside him. I think losing custody of his kid was a wake up call

  35. Is Tom Cruise Dating Cameron Diaz Now?
    At least once a week.
    Any further questions?.

  36. They practice karate, she is good in.flying kicks have seen this for a while mr. cruise was really surprised.

  37. sientology is just a personality training to become faster it disturbs those who want more time to perceive moments I can understand that, it is all free to use these tools or not. pluralism

  38. dreamon

    the 2 scumbags deserve each other.. shes a …… hes a …….. end of story. take scientology and shove it tommy right up cameron’s………….

  39. Wild Bill

    I can`t believe nobody has said it TCLTC

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