Tom Brady is The Prettiest Quarterback in All The Land

August 4th, 2011 // 59 Comments

Apparently season ticket holders get to watch the New England Patriots have an extra special practice just for them, so here’s Tom Brady at Gillette Stadium last night giving the crowd some sizzle as he prances and preens knowing full well their eyes are undressing him gleefully, like a man alone with his waterslide. Later, during the Q&A portion of the pageant, he’d say the thing he wishes for more than anything is world peace because “knowing all those dirty wars are happening makes me want to cry so hard my mascara runs, but that’s okay, that’s okay. This is where real beauty lives.” (Here Tom points to his heart before giggling and tousling his hair.)

Photo: Splash News


  1. Cock Dr

    Let’s get him in an evening dress.
    I’ll bet Giselle pegs him hard. That’s why he married her; that’s why he’s smiles like that.
    She gave him permission to cut his hair for the season. It’s good when the dom can be understanding like that.

    • lydiav

      Sorry but this dude looks a little “Special” to me. Those beady eyes and the five-head. Oye!I am a 28 years old doctor, mature and beautiful.and now I am seeking a good man who can give me real love , so i got a username sammyshine2002 on–a’ge’l'ov’e'r.c óm–.it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and old’er men, or older women and y’ounger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck ‘it out or tell your friends!

  2. I thought that was Hillary Swank in a Patriots jersey.

  3. Wonder what’d happen if you ask him why a fifth of americans can’t locate the US on a world map..

  4. Tom Brady Practice
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone got a boo boo. Football is such a big boys game.

  5. Anonymous

    Try sacking this Sally on the field. Instant 15-yard penalty, immediate suspension, escorted from the stadium in handcuffs, banishment from the league, and must wait two years to apply for reinstatement. And that’s just for a finger brushing against his jersey. Brady isn’t a football player. He’s a china doll.

    • hubris

      Yeah, a china doll that threw for 36 TDs and 4 INTs last season, best ratio in the HISTORY of the league. Oh and only unanimous MVP in league history. NBD.

      Haters gonna hate.

      • Steelerchick

        Go Steelers!!!

      • Anonymous

        Was he using a Nikon?

      • crabby old guy

        Damn straight. Great QB who happens to look good and have a VERY hot wife. What’s not to like? And this is from a life-long Packers fan (sorry Steelerchick).

      • Anonymous

        The first time Brady is sacked in 2011, and after the player who sacked him is suspended, Goodell will be hard at work coming up with a new Brady Rule. Either putting Brady in a red jersey like a practice QB, or having the defense wait five seconds before they’re able to rush him. China dolls must be protected at all times. No touching.

  6. The good news is, he’ll never be sexting pictures of his cock to anyone.

    Vagina shots, anyone?

  7. Tom Brady Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    As shiny as that helmet is, his hair is shinier.

  8. Mil

    when will it be my turn for aesthetics?

  9. Willy Ketchum

    Thank you sir , may I have another

  10. Old Fart

    Obama is the dumbest politician in all the land. The stock market is his report card and he is flunking! Jimmy Carter is no longer the worst President!
    PS Democrats are idiots!

    • Schmidtler

      Don’t blame me, I voted for Zombie Reagan!

    • vitobonespur

      I can only assume you come here to spout your bullshit because the people around you can’t stand listening to you.

      PS: People who come to entertainment gossip blogs to vomit their political views are inbred, drooling, mouth-breathing shitheads!

  11. I don’t watch football, so I don’t know who this is.

  12. Willy Ketchum

    “Is it time for my spanking ? Okay!”

  13. hello

    Is that a sanitary napkin in his hand?

  14. Donald Trump

    Sorry but this dude looks a little “Special” to me. Those beady eyes and the five-head. Oye!

  15. Steelerchick

    Yeah I’ll give him credit for looks.
    Lets give Ben Roethlisburger the title for Mr. Congeniality!!

  16. Deacon Jones

    Well, cue the haters, but let’s GO PHILADELPHIA EAGLES!!!!!

    Talk about a whirlwind weekend, partying in OCMD and we turn on ESPN and not only did the Phils get Hunter Pence, but the Eagles went apeshit signing people, something we’ve been begging for for years…

    This year is our window, and the front office recognized it.

    And @ Dude,

    Your Cowgirls are going DOWN, motherfucker!
    Great move keeping Terrance “I blew out my groin” Newman!
    You r best bet is going to be rolling Ryan down the Eagles sideline and praying he takes out half the team! lol

    • TomFrank

      I thought Dude was a Giants fan.

    • Deacon Jones


      Well fuck the Giants too, Dude!

      • yeah i’m all about the giants. yknow, the ONE team that knew how to beat brady/belichec/the pats when it mattered most.. 18-1 motherfuckers :D

        did notice how many ppl philthy picked up on D, but every year the critics pull for philthy and ev year philthy doesn’t quite deliver the big one now do they, awwwe.
        one day huh..

        now if we can stop osi from turning into the next fat albert h, i’ll feel a little better, oh and if eli’s benched a quarter for every pickle he throws. it’s the only thing that sharpens his shit up.

      • Deacon Jones

        Osi’s a big fucking baby, now he’s even more pissed off that they took him off the trading block. He’s going to become a cancer on that team, Im telling ya, I saw it happen slowly with TO

  17. Beatriz

    He is not attractive …

  18. Viking burger flipper

    he looks purdy for a cheater

  19. Sam Ronson’s future girlfriend.

  20. Tom Brady Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sorry…what in the actual fuck is he crying about?

  21. kanyeisgayfish

    The BEST damn quarterback in the land PERIOD !

  22. Tom Brady Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    Say what you want…I wish I was him.

  23. Kate

    Hotter than you? Check. Richer, more famous and more successful? Check. Better looking wife? Check. Talented? Check.

    Your bitterness is totally understandable.

  24. 955-J. Trettell

    I’m waiting until NFL season starts, and finding who will be in superbowl 46 in 2012.

  25. Victoria

    Aaron Rodgers is WAY cuter than this Brady dork!!

  26. the one

    ……..he is still able to walk, folks?

  27. me

    Hightower from Police Academy died. bummer. RIP

  28. Tom Brady Practice
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    He just needs my tit in his mouth

  29. Kirk

    3 superbowl championships………….enough said!

  30. Tom Brady Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s so shiny because it’s a hairpiece.

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