Tom Brady Is A Donald Trump Supporter

“You said there’d be water slides…”
“I like quarterbacks who don’t talk.”

I don’t live in New England, so it’s easy for me to see Tom Brady as the preening, whiny man-bitch he is without feeling like I just pissed in Baby Jesus’ face. (Speaking of which, haha, Tim Tebow!) However, this should make it easier for even more people to irrationally hate (or depressingly love) some guy who throws a ball because here’s a “Make America Great Again” hat in Brady’s locker. Via Barstool Sports:

And while Brady has confirmed that, yes, there’s a Donald Trump hat in his locker, he stopped short of saying he’d vote for Trump. But he also didn’t say that he wouldn’t vote for him because, say what you will about Tom Brady crying at the drop of a hat, the man’s crafty. Not only did he protect himself should Trump lose, but should he win, Tom Brady just secured himself a cabinet position shooting any minorities not currently playing professional sports. (After we deal with the Mexicans of course.)

“You retire. You get your watch. We shoot you dead before you’re running around the streets like a goddamn ape.”
“Mr. President, is that legal?”
“What are you gonna quote the Constitution at me? Go back to Univision!”
“I’m from the Patriots, sir.”
“UNIVISION!”

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Photo: Getty