Tells Us About Your Balls, Tom Brady, Tells Us Everything About Them

Unless you live in a cave, you’re probably somewhat aware of DeflateGate in which the NFL conducted an investigation and determined that 11 out of the 12 balls used by the New England Patriots during the AFC Championship game were deflated. And if you have the sense of humor of an 11-year-old, then you’re probably also aware that Tom Brady held a press conference yesterday where he not only repeatedly said the word “balls,” but also talked intricately about rubbing them and feeling them and never letting anybody else touch them because his balls have to be just right. So for the benefit of mankind, I archived said press conference because future generations need to know about our love for testicle humor, and how we crafted efficient methods of delivering it while people still died of cancer and/or diseases that we got rid of in the 60s because a stupid blonde with big tits told everyone it’s cool not to vaccinate their kids. We had shit figured out, Cyborg Class of 4017.