Todd Phillips Really is Banging Paris Hilton

July 5th, 2011 // 54 Comments

When I first heard the rumors that Paris Hilton was hooking up with The Hangover director Todd Phillips, I just assumed it was her people trying to drum up publicity (Pregnancy rumors, anyone?) for her reality show that no one wants to watch. So, imagine my surprise to see them together over the holiday weekend because I always figured a.) Todd Phillips is an intelligent human being who uses promises of acting work on chicks who aren’t the equivalent of jamming a needle full of hepatitis in your eye, and b.) Paris Hilton is a superficial whore-bag. I guess she’s finally maturing as a woman and realizing 24-year-old trust fund babies don’t fire movie roles out of their cocks. On that note, if you’re a scientist who believes chlamydia has the capacity to learn, I’m listening.

Photos: GSI Media, Splash News, TMZ

superficial

  1. Jack Ketch

    Oh Jesus, the poor bastard !! Run for your life while you still can !!

    • Honest Abe

      Is that Donald Sutherland??

      • Mike

        I know right! He looks A LOT like a Sutherland brother. More like the old one (Donald) than Kiefer.

        How old is this d-bag anyways?! He looks like he could be Paris’ father.

        Does this girl not have enough Hilton money that she has to stoop so low as fack old men? At least Paris is young, thin and pretty. Dang. Some chicks just can’t get enough of the green! LOL

        BTW, both those Hangover movies sucked azz.

      • GAY CHRISTOPHER

        this old mothafucka is uglier than my dark hairy ass crack after a bout with diarrhea. paris isn’t a 10 but she’s a lot better looking than this douche. it must be that he promised her film roles that’s why she’sscrewing him. cuz doesn’t she normally date young hot male models?????! obviously there’s an alterior motive here. he’s too brownbag ugly to be her type.

  2. as a man of science i can confirm chlamydia lacks capacity to learn. however the clap can turn lights on and off

      • TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT

        They are BOTH skanky mcskanks. Todd Phillips has a reputation for sticking his pickle in every jar he can get a hold of. And we all know how desperate wannabe actors and actresses in L.A. can be. So I can only imagine the diseases this man has been exposed to.

        Their beds must be a petri dish for STIs. Hopefully these two don’t reproduce.

  3. meme

    You mean roles, not rules.

  4. Clarence Beeks

    someone is looking to get into movies that don’t involve on screen blowjobs.

    • fuck the bitch, her 15 mins are long gone

      • Clarence Beeks

        I agree! I detest this stupid whore. She is the whole reason Kim Kardashian got recognized. She is also evil, manipulative and greedy. I love that no one gives a shit about her anymore. It is the best revenge.

      • Facebook Me

        Is there anyone on this planet who has NOT fucked this whore? Besides ME!?

    • Texan Brian Likes Rich Blonds

      PARIS IS HOT AND YOU ALL KNOW IT. Ya’ll just jealous she gets more sausage than all of you combined get puzzy. It ain’t this girl’s fault you ain’t getting any and calling her names ain’t gonna get you laid.

      She’s filthy rich, she’s cute, she’s gonna inherit more money than we’ll ever see, she’s got a tight killer body. Even if Paris were to become less “newsworthy” than that fat cottage cheese towelhead skank Kim Kardashian, she will still have a MUCH BETTER LIFE than all of ya’ll and than most people on earth.

      @ Facebook Me: You sound like a whiny little jealous beetch. Paris wouldn’t fvck you if you were the last dic on earth.

    • TEXAN BRIAN

      PARIS IS HOT AND YOU ALL KNOW IT. Ya’ll just jealous she gets more sausage than all of you combined get cunnie. It ain’t this girl’s fault you ain’t getting any and calling her names ain’t gonna get you laid.

      She’s filthy rich, she’s cute, she’s gonna inherit more money than we’ll ever see, she’s got a tight killer body. Even if Paris were to become less “newsworthy” than that fat cottage cheese skank Kim Kardashian, she will still have a MUCH BETTER LIFE than all of ya’ll and than most people on earth.

      @ Facebook Me: You sound like a whiny little jealous beetch. Paris wouldn’t fvck you if you were the last dic on earth.

  5. Cock Dr

    She thinks he’ll give her a big break in a mainstream movie.
    He’s having a good laugh over the summer.
    He’s playing with viruses that never quit. Dangerous.
    Never go down on her, and hope the condoms are very strong.

    • BE

      Desperate times = Desperate measures

      It’s like she’s got the playbook for how to go down (pun intended) scratching and clawing and screaming “Look at me!!!”

      Considering what she’s done for “fame” we can only watch in horror as she twists through any thing she can find to keep her name out there.

      • Jim in NYC

        “Considering what she’s done for “fame” we can only watch in horror as she twists through any thing she can find to keep her name out there.”

        Well in all fairness, didn’t this dick create The Hangover 1 & 2? At least I got my rocks off to Paris’ videotape. But this dickwad’s movies are over two hours lost of my life that I will never be able to get back . What a piece of shit they were!

        “Never go down on her, and hope the condoms are very strong.”

        Paris doesn’t strike me as the type of chick who would put up with not getting any oral from her man. Girls crave oral sex even more than men. For a lot of girls, it’s better than actual sex. And since she’s rich and spoiled I don’t think this little heiress will be putting up with that. I betya anything he’s got his face buried in her muffin atleast 3 x a week. LOL

  6. the captain

    he has always this request before banging her.
    ……………CALLING AN EXCORSIST DUE TO HER SCARY GIGANTIC FEET WITH SIMILARE TOES!!

    • Johnny USA

      Hahahahah … NOT! Better luck next time with those jokes. And learn to write proper sentences, you fucking immigrant roach.

  7. GoatmealCrisp

    He knocked on her door, said he was here for the gangbang and sparks flew.

    • Johnny USA

      Same thing with you, douchebag. If you’re going to write a joke atleast make it funny. What a waste of internet space you fucking morons are. My little brother comes up with funnier shit than this.

  8. Venom

    And the herpes train rolls on.
    Paris is the best thing for chicks in Hollywood, because once she dates a guy, they know they never have to date that guy in the future.

  9. Todd Phillips Paris Hilton
    brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s so easy a caveman can do her.

  10. Clueless

    I thought it was the temp from The Office.

  11. rican

    Man, that bitch has been tapped more than a UFC mat.

    • Facebook Me

      BOOM!

      • Anthony

        YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN. Lemme guess? You’re both 15 year old virgins, huh?

        I’ll let you in on a little secret that all the grownups know: 99.99999999% of women have had PLENTY of sexual partners by the age of 30 (Paris’ age).

        So whether she’s Paris Hilton or Jane Doe from the block, it makes no difference.

        If it bothers you, there’s always the alternative: a man’s hair smelly azzhole.

  12. Jody

    Seriously, why do guys continue to go out with her? Is no one grossed out? Sheesh.

    • Shelley

      Why do guys continue to go out with you, Jodie? Aren’t they grossed out? Sheesh.

      Seriously, I don’t get why her lack or abundance of sexual experience is important to you? It’s really nobody’s business, especially not another girl who isn’t interested in sleeping with her. So shut the fuck up.

  13. Shyt

    She is the ugliest, stupidest, grossest most awful bitch out there. This guy really can’t do any better, SERIOUSLY?

  14. Reece

    Get that man some Penicillin! STAT!!! You can actually see him being infected in one picture
    Oh the humanity!

  15. Donald Trump

    I find it funny this bitch still has the never to wear white – anywhere!

    • Kyle

      @ Donald Trump: Isn’t there some newborn baby girl who you have to go and save from being aborted just so you can go and marry her as soon as she turns 18, you hypocritical cradle-robbing right-wing teabagging republic nut??!!

  16. cc

    Paris is thinking ‘Hey, I am fucking Elliot Gould from the movie MASH! It so awesome to be fucking a guy who was in such a funny movie.’

    • Clarence Beeks

      M*A*S*H is way too witty and smart of a movie for Paris to sit through it. No way she knows who Elliott Gould is either.

  17. Dan

    The Paris Hilton situation:

    ) Her show is terrible. She acts exactly like she did at 22 – but now she is fucking 30.

    ) She is a serial (sorta) monogmizer – she is without a guy for about a week before she is on to the next.

    ) She is looking really hard in the face. You would see this kind of face on a stripper.

    She is gonna get worn out permanently – then all she will be able to get is the older director guys who she thinks might give her a job.

    • Steven

      “She acts exactly like she did at 22 – but now she is fucking 30.”

      Yeah but nowadays 30 is still really really young. I’m a dude in my late 20s and every chick I meet around my age is immature and childish as fuck.

      That’s why I prefer dating girls who are in their mid 30s. Less drama, less games, less immature bullshit, less problems. A 30 year old chick is SUPPOSED to be more mature but often times isn’t.

  18. CDC Fact Sheet - Genital Herpes

    What is genital herpes?

    Genital herpes is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) caused by the herpes simplex viruses type 1 (HSV-1) or type 2 (HSV-2). Most genital herpes is caused by HSV-2. Most individuals have no or only minimal signs or symptoms from HSV-1 or HSV-2 infection. When signs do occur, they typically appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals or rectum. The blisters break, leaving tender ulcers (sores) that may take two to four weeks to heal the first time they occur. Typically, another outbreak can appear weeks or months after the first, but it almost always is less severe and shorter than the first outbreak. Although the infection can stay in the body indefinitely, the number of outbreaks tends to decrease over a period of years.

    Is there a treatment for herpes?

    There is no treatment that can cure herpes, but antiviral medications can shorten and prevent outbreaks during the period of time the person takes the medication. In addition, daily suppressive therapy for symptomatic herpes can reduce transmission to partners.

    How can herpes be prevented?

    The surest way to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, including genital herpes, is to abstain from sexual contact, or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected.

    Genital ulcer diseases can occur in both male and female genital areas that are covered or protected by a latex condom, as well as in areas that are not covered. Correct and consistent use of latex condoms can reduce the risk of genital herpes.

    • had an ex who had herpes. of course she didnt mention she had it til we were banging for a month. when she did mention it i flipped out. she said well you cant die from it, i said you fucking will if you gave it to me.

      it’s true that when it’s dormant it’s not a threat, but be upfront

  19. Todd Phillips Paris Hilton
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    The girl in front of Paris looks better

  20. At least her next sex video’s going to have a decent director.

  21. SCREW TODD PHILLIPS!!! She was on the last few seconds of her 15 minutes but by dating someone like him she has managed to postpone it for awhile. She won’t let this one go easily. You would think someone like him could find someone less used than her.

  22. Trent Wesley -Tarelot

    Isn’t Love Grand !!!!!

  23. Of rough & wrong

    Paris is a hopeless romantic just like me.

  24. Mr Obvious

    He’s just doing research for the next Hangover movie.

    The Hangover 3: What The Hell Is That On My Penis.

  25. sitin

    Why is it that none of these guys who are looking for a name never shave? They look as bad as her crotch!

  26. ShirlyMay

    I hope he goes to Costco to get a shopping cart full of penicillin.

  27. Todd Phillips Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    If you zoom in really close, you can actually see the microbes leaping from one mouth to the next.

  28. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    How cruel do you have to be to steal an 85 year old’s hat. Hef must be distraught.

  29. Todd Phillips Paris Hilton
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me guess. In the Hangover 3 Ed Helms gets herpes in his face.

  30. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    Why do men want to be with her? She is riddled with STDs, its common knowledge – she is so used up, its disgusting, yet men still want to fuck that mess. I don’t get it.

  31. Lola

    LOL, I guess it’s true. Some guys will fuck anything with two tits and a pulse.

  32. Todd Phillips Paris Hilton
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    Keep looking. My penis must be here some place.

  33. Reta

    This guy looks like two globs of silly putty slammed together in a car wreak! UG-LY!! But HerpesWhoreParis lost her recent “love of all time’ and so had to go hunting for another, more famous one this time. Well, Paris, when you’re getting long in the tooth AND every person on the planet knows you’ve got herpes, your pickens must be slim to none so maybe this guy was all that was left for you. Close your eyes dear and try to believe he’s George Clooney, because it’s the closest YOU’LL ever get to a hot famous hollywood dude! Get what you can and close the deal fast before this one gets away too!

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